Software Engineer

DoesItMatterTooYou · 2019-12-31T17:05:48+00:00

Break completely free of that group outside of work. Find a hobby to pursue that is more gender balanced or even more female.

Take up yoga classes for your own self benefit perhaps.

I am in IT and holy shit it is FILLED with betas and white knights. Completely a waste of time for social stuff.

TehJimmyy · 2019-12-31T17:07:24+00:00

And many engineers live in scarcity mindset due to that and compete fiercely for a woman. Any tips to break that?

I am computer engineer finishing his diploma after 5 years which is male dominated like 80-20 or 90-10% ratio. My best advice would be to not bother with any girl there sexually . They know you are thirsty. Its possible but the risk-reward is not worth it. Try outside your colelge campus

zk2997 · 2019-12-31T18:52:59+00:00

As a CS student, I feel you. The computer labs always turn into a bukake around the one female CS major.

SerialATA_Killer · 2019-12-31T19:52:52+00:00

To get away from my high IQ, high autism work environment, I started taking partner dance lessons at the start of this year. Right now I'm into Country two and one step, and west coast swing. I'll likely be getting into bachata and salsa this upcoming year for some variety (and latin chicks).

It gives you a great "excuse" to be with women one-on-one, and to have fun with them while you're together
It's a completely different environment than the tech industry, although social dancers are retarded in their own way
There's shit tons of babes that spend all night looking for good dance partners, and if you're a good dance partner, you're a king

The one downside is that if you get into it, you'll find yourself out a lot at dance halls or night clubs during week days, which can be rough for your work life. Also, dancers tend to know eachother, and a lot of gossip/drama can tend to happen. It can be a shit where you eat type situation.

RelativeTeal · 2019-12-31T19:12:12+00:00

Rock climbing and team sports worked for me. Also hanging out with the sales and consulting teams who actually go drinking and not acting like a social weenie and making excuses. Invite yourself out.

muricanwerewolf1 · 2019-12-31T19:04:55+00:00

You have to start having sex with men. Since IT nerds are generally soft and womanlike it shouldn’t be hard.

Or I guess you could find a hobby like yoga, rock climbing, adult softball, or meet women in bars, coffee shops, a museum or something...I dunno dude, all I know is you gotta break out of that social circle and become a different person than a guy who defines himself as “software engineer”. It’s not really even a software engineer specific problem, unless you’re a bartender (damn I miss that) you’re not going to be developing many (or any) prospects from work. And when you’re 30+ most of your friends are beginning to nest, either with their SO or their body pillow waifu and PS4. You gotta learn to hunt alone.

realname3 · 2019-12-31T19:45:56+00:00

Take up dance.
Latin style not that swing dancing shit.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-12-31T20:49:45+00:00

Take a language class at the university. Ask for help from one of the 99% girls in the class.

DoesItMatterTooYou · 2019-12-31T21:40:01+00:00

We have a catch 22.

The world needs smart people to do things like software engineering but it also needs strong masculine men whom are in command of their lives.

Unfortunately the world media is busily driving those goals farther apart than ever before.

failed_singingcareer · 2019-12-31T17:06:25+00:00

Not really, don't slap labels or follow stereotypes. You can be a social, outgoing engineer. Do things that high SMV males regularly do. I kite surf, fly general aviation aircraft, go clubbing, drive fast cars. Be passionate about what you do. Don't talk about boring SE stuff on the first date though. The reason engineers are socially retarded is because their interests typically revolve around World of Warcraft, video games, and that's why their chosen livelihood is Software Engineering. If you're a social person then you'd know what to do, being a Software Engineer has nothing to do with it. Don't let the mirror neurons get to you when you're around those guys. This is why having a strong frame is important, and not just for being around women. It's about you, know and understand yourself. I'm willing to bet you've never tried psychedelics?

lovesprite · 2020-01-01T10:55:26+00:00

I would avoid that social circle. As a software engineer myself those people are some of the snobbiest, beta, assholes I have seen in my life.

Dont believe me? Try posting something to cscareerquestions . Its the most rude community on reddit. Those are frustrated betas who have no balls in person but behave horribly on reddit.

One time I posted something there and people went through my comment history and shamed me for believing in redpill at 31.

Try to join some dance lessons or cooking lessons. Those are dominated by women.

trpppp123 · 2020-01-01T16:37:08+00:00

I'm a software engineer and I'll share my life experience because it may be relevant. Honestly I consider it to be one of the bigger reasons as to why my life has been how it is; not software engineering, but the whole nerdy, video game, engineer guy persona. It was probably a big part of the reason I didn't get laid until 25. My friends were all nerdy betas who wanted to play video games and I was the same. I eventually graduated and became a software engineer working with a bunch of old guys with families. My social life was crap, I was not even really hanging out with my old friends because I didn't enjoy video games anymore. The people at work were all old or extremely beta and I wasn't down to hang out with them either after work. I let go of the old friends I had because there was no point hanging with them, I wouldn't grow. I stopped video games and knew it was just an escape for me and felt like I wasted so much time on them that I could be using to grow. I could feel myself aging going to my day to day grind, and nothing really to live for. I wasn't getting laid, or even dating. I don't even think I had hugged a girl at that point. I was going to the gym but I didn't make much progress. I think I was somewhat reading up on pickup/TRP at this point but wasn't really taking any action.

A part of me even regret choosing the path of a software engineer because while I was making good money, I missed out on so many life experiences that I could have had if I had better quality friends. I missed out on learning to get good socially, good parties probably, and the one that bugs me the most was that I probably missed out on fucking a lot of beautiful girls in their prime.

At 25, I eventually lost my virginity to some Tinder hoe. She was like a 7 or an 8. She was super persistent for me for some reason and that's probably the only reason I ended up losing it. She never saw me again after the first fuck though lol. And after that I fucked one or two girls from Tinder as well. But still, it felt like an empty life. And then I made a gf of one of these hoes who's past would rein terror on me (she had been with 20+ guys while I was at like 3-4). We eventually broke up because of it and other reasons.

At some point, I figured I have the talent to find another job and I had savings due to living with my parents, so I decided to just quit my job and went to travel around Europe and Southeast Asia for about a year. During this time, I made a point to go out as much as possible, meet as many different people I could and forced myself to start conversations with strangers. Sometimes it sucked but overall, it turned out to be the single best decision of my life. I partied, saw so many cool things, have so many more interesting stories to tell now, met so many cool people around the world, fucked women (albeit most were probably 5-6s)... I got back around 2 years ago and I easily found another job that paid even more. I'm 29 now and I've fucked around 20 since I first lost my v-card. It's not an impressive number by any means but to me it's progress.

Nothing changed here since I came back. Everyone is still doing the same thing, everything is the same... I felt like I had lived so much in that year meanwhile here everyone was doing the same. It was weird. I'm back in my routine now and I still don't have many people I could call my good friends around here and it feels like I'm not moving again. I took up hobbies like boxing which helps me socialize a bit but I don't hang out with most outside of the classes. I still travel frequently solo during vacations but it's not as frequent, but still helps. And I'm definitely better with women now but still not fucking the quality I want to be regularly. I'm nearing 30 now and I find myself wanting to settle down with a good girl but those seem hard to find especially with no social real social circle. I'm fairly content with my life for the most part nowadays and get laid semi-frequently by way of dating apps and just going out solo when I travel. But a part of me still wants more from life. I'm working towards being able to work remotely and maybe travelling around that way.

All that to say, break out of the typical software engineer persona. Get rid of the video games, spend that time on a social hobby. Get rid of the beta friends, no matter how much you think they're you're friends. They're holding you back. It's better to be alone and going after the life you want. Honestly Idk if I'd choose a different discipline looking back, because I'm paid well, and I think if I can manage to be full time remote, I'll be a lot more free. But yes, it has had it's drawbacks on my life. The best thing to do is keep work at work, and find other friends outside of work that are more outgoing/social.

skuttt · 2020-01-01T05:02:52+00:00

I’m a SW engineer. It fucked me up a long time. Know that it isn’t you who doesn’t know how to interact with women. It’s just how you feel right now. Learn the material. Practice. You are only what you make happen for you.

TehJimmyy · 2020-01-01T12:46:14+00:00

[deleted]

atanoidserial · 2020-01-01T13:32:25+00:00

worst is the women in CS know this white knight behaviour and utilize it to their benefit they are using it to climb the ladder. CS is being ruined the amount of crap i see on twitter also the victim card playing. There was this chick who created such a ruckus and began name calling people for not giving her travel sponsorship to go to a conference she expected things to be handed out to her because she was a female speaker. And weak beta men(the majority of cs) and white nights came to her resuce and some even paid for her to go.

A pattern i have noticed is most of these are in devrel/dev adv and or shift to that later. They arent in core cs.The actual nerdy women who choose cs as a career due to their nerdy hobbies and not due to it being a money making sceme are very quiet and dgaf about all this bs.

FieldLine · 2020-01-02T07:13:52+00:00

Where do you meet girls?

Outside.

Title	Software Engineer
Author	xfiles_tr
Upvotes	34
Comments	42
Date	December 31, 2019 4:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ei5d1c/software_engineer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/software-engineer.303756 https://theredarchive.com/post/303756

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