Stuck.

spoetnick · 2015-01-18T22:32:33+00:00

Sounds to me like you know what to do. You are just stuck on actually doing it. Have you tried taking it slow? Look for small things that are close to or even inside your comfort zone. Work at those things until you are comfortable enough with them to continue to something new.

After a while doing new things should be one of the things inside your comfortzone and will probably speed up the process.

How about you just start with something like working out, preferably lifting. You feel better, you feel more energetic, you'll look better, you'll get a confidence boost, you are around people that don't know you. Something as simple as taking up a sport could be the start of a new chapter.

Reading about it is great, but if you don't follow up on it, its just lost knowledge.

There probably is another way of looking at it. At the moment you are being like a woman. You know how you would want to live your life. You know what you have to do in order to get it. You talk about/think about that you should actually do it. Your actions on the other hand are telling you that you aren't a rational male. Despite everything your actions still prove that you are a beta boy.

Somewhere you haven't convinced yourself you need to chance. Where you are at now is good. It isn't perfect maybe, but it's tolerable. The cost of change just don't outweigh the benefits yet. But that's ok. There are a lot of beta bucks out there and some of them live a happy life.

The way has been show you to already. You know what to do, you probably know what it takes. Now the only thing left is to actually do it. It's hard but it's worth it.

BrunoOh · 2015-01-18T22:42:47+00:00

It is because you don't think to step out of your comfort zone. You do not realize that ultimately this feels good.

Approach a random girl, one that you'll likely never see again. Just walk up to her and say "Hi, you're really pretty, want to get some coffee together?". It can be blue pill garbage, it doesn't matter. If she says yes, then congratulations. You'll feel good about yourself (and you have a date!). If she says no, at least you did something you've never done before and 90% of men and 99.99% of women never do. Pat yourself on the back for that.

While on that high, go back to whatever you want to do (suggestion: getting a gym membership and go to the gym right away).

You need to get into that reinforcing spiral of confidence and improvement. It is much easier when you are inside it.

shapb · 2015-01-18T23:33:59+00:00

There is a delicate balance between reading and applying what you read. The more you practice, the easier you read. The more you read, the less you practice. You need to tune this.

Have you ever learned a language? Surely you learn the basics, apply them with practice, then move on to higher level material. Same with most science courses. Skipping to advanced material without the fundamentals is a very risky move... which is what i feel is happening in your case.

PublicallyViewable · 2015-01-18T23:46:45+00:00

I'm in the same place in my life. I've been trying to find a partner to work with me on accomplishing goals together, hence my post in /r/getmotivatedbuddies . Care to be accountability buddies and commit to our goals together? 22/m/Eastern USA

EmperorAurelius · 2015-01-19T02:15:21+00:00

Did you read no more mr nice guy? I'm reading it these days and I think you have the same problem as other nice guys - that you dont deserve better. That you're not worthy.

TheReason13 · 2015-01-19T12:11:43+00:00

You're being too hard on yourself, don't take it so seriously. You're going into all situations and challenges expecting success or hell on earth. Its not all that grim. You win and you reap the rewards, you lose and you learn and become stronger then attempt again.

LET GO OF YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE.

Failure is not as scary as you think it is, its an opportunity to learn and observe. Its fascinating.

Approach a girl and expect nothing from her, talk to her like she's your little sister, you've known her forever. Expect her cold responses and rejections and laugh at them. Have some fun with it, you don't always have to succeed, you just have to be emotionally independent of her, emotionally unaffected by her, and outcomes independent of her.

When you assert yourself, pursue your desires and challenge obstacles in life, have fun with it. Understand that it may not go your way, and don't give a fuck if it doesn't.

There is nothing goor nor bad, it is thinking that makes it so.

Shakespear.... I think.

Title	Stuck.
Author	EmperorAurelius
Upvotes	1
Comments	11
Date	January 18, 2015 10:18 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2svdgg/stuck/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/stuck.145402 https://theredarchive.com/post/145402

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