The difference between being Captain Save-A-Ho and legitimately helping your partner?

Mr_Badass · 2018-07-04T05:55:21+00:00

Captain save a hoe or being a "simp" means that you're spending too much attention or resources on a woman. You can help your wife but you need to have a balance between her needs and your needs.

rpsheepdog · 2018-07-04T06:12:32+00:00

Captain save a ho means wasting your time on a woman who has proven nothing to you, and you are trying to fix her.

Single moms, literal ho's, drug addict chicks, girls who consistently date chads and "get their heart broken" or literally get their face broken

Anybody that you think you can "change their ways".

nastynickdr · 2018-07-04T12:31:54+00:00

The thing is, if I am in LTR and one day I get fat, fall into depression, start drinking, lose my job, and so on, I want my partner to give me a lot of room to help myself and recover before dumping me.

Thats a huge ass covert contract. "Ill treat her good so she has to do the same for me". "Ill earn good money, do the dishes and clean the bathroom so she will want to fuck me". Doesnt work like that. Also theres no way in the world that you could know if she would give you "room" before dumping you or not. And with women being hypergamous and todays feminism, women entitlement and "you go girl!" herd mentality you can bet your ass thats something hard to happen.

If you want to help her achieve whatever, do it because YOU want to and you think shes worth it, but dont do it so that she will give you "X" back. Thats source of frustration for lots of people, I was like that and it SUCKS. Other people will do what they want, no matter how much you would want it to be different. You can only control what you do.

About your LTR: If she is depressed, what you can do is find a good doctor, point her to it, support her at home, be fun and upbeat around her, be her oak, and thats it. Then its up to her to actually go to the doctor, take the meds, do the work. Remember you cant change other people, and you cant make other people do whatever. You can take the horse to the river but you cant make it drink the water. You have to decide for yourself if shes worth it or not.

About being captain save a hoe, thats if you are comitting to a single mom, post-wall slut, party slut and so on. At the very bottom you can think of every woman as a slut, since she is trading sex for time/affection/attention/resources/commitment.

2comment · 2018-07-04T05:59:11+00:00

The thing is, if I am in LTR and one day I get fat, fall into depression, start drinking, lose my job, and so on, I want my partner to give me a lot of room to help myself and recover before dumping me.

What you want and what will happen is two completely different things.

Trying to apply the golden rule to all interactions is nice in theory. In practice, however... it will set most guys into nice guy mode where they will crash and burn.

resnine · 2018-07-04T16:20:29+00:00

I've spent many-a-knights talking to girls about their "emotional/mental" issues. Bi-polar, depression, body-dis-morphia, daddy-issues, and a whole host of other problems they are having. And this is clear to me now, run from these women. They are toxic and will do nothing but bring you down further. If they aren't trying to better themselves, you aren't going to change them, so stop trying. Don't be a hero, because in the end they wouldn't do it for you. Trust me on that, I've dealt with countless lazy/mental-problem type women and it never ends up as a net-positive. I always feel depleted and used. You are feeling what all us men naturally feel (and it is crucial you realize this), you want to provide and protect. And often our nature goes against our actual logic. The logical thing to do here is to drop/ghost her.

If she isn't willing to change, you sure as hell aren't going to change her mind, no matter how much captain-save-a-hoing you are doing. Been there one too many times to realize it is efforts wasted. You know that saying a high-tide raises all boats? well the inverse is also true, a low-tide lowers all boats. What you associate with you become. These women want to drain not only your pockets but also your emotional energy too. They are energy sinks. Please do yourself a tremendous favor here and STOP TALKING TO HER. The problems will not go away, and in many ways they will increase because you give her an outlet. And this just creates a positive feedback loop. The more you hear about her problems, the more the problems magically appear. Don't be her emotional tampon.

AshyBoneVR4 · 2018-07-04T10:29:41+00:00

It may be corny, but This song is what made me realize the difference between trying to save/change a hoe, and just genuinely trying to help a chick out. It's not what you do, it's what they do. The chick has to want to help herself. She needs to be activly trying to change her ways. When you see her doing that, then you can start helping her WITHIN YOUR OWN MEANS. You can't be putting yourself in a bad disposition just to make the chicks life better. On the other hand, if she keeps doing the same bull shit, let her. Don't try to save her because she doesn't want to be saved. You're wasting your time, and just being captain save a hoe.

Do realize, that some times it's hard to tell when you're trying to help a friend, but really you're trying to change a hoe. Let people be who they want to be. Even if they themselves don't like that person who they are, nothing you can do about it. They have want to make a change and commit to it.

DadOnDabs · 2018-07-04T14:26:24+00:00

As far as your LTR goes, "she's comfortable". She sees no reason to try anymore. Dread game could be an option depending on the context.

If she has a history of depression only she can bring herself out of it. You can help by doing fun shit with her to keep her mind off it but you can't talk her into a more positive mindstate.

BeeBopJoe · 2018-07-04T06:20:28+00:00

She sounds more like shes depressed or going through something stressful rather than cheating. Have u tried speaking to her?

JohnDick2k · 2018-07-04T09:00:36+00:00

Captain Save-A-Ho helps a woman, because he hopes for great sex life in exchange, and additionally he spends too much time, money attention on her. You can help your gf through the tough time in her life, but just don't clinge to her. In your situation I recommend you to read "The way of superior man" by David Deida. It touches the subject about your problem. You can't use your logical mind with her asking "what's the matter, gina?" Just try to make her mood better, maybe tickle her, pick her up and spin her around. Do something to put her into a better mood without putting too much effort into it.

Bruchibre · 2018-07-04T09:55:46+00:00

Is your partner a Ho ?

Merwebb · 2018-07-04T13:17:42+00:00

If you hit bottom while in a relationship your girl is the first one to resent you and leave, so stop that bullshit before is late.

Offer help, do things here and there but ultimately she is the one that should seek it.

Also, that whole situation about being bad is weird.

XT3M3 · 2018-07-04T14:13:47+00:00

capt save a ho does things as a covert contract. meaning from personal experience from beta days, paying a bitch whole phone bill for a chance with her/showing im a good guy. you do things for a return you arent entitled to.

just being helpful means you are doing things for no return. you know you arent going to smash that girl or get anything, but you helped her anyway as a good deed for nothing in return.

Title	The difference between being Captain Save-A-Ho and legitimately helping your partner?
Author	remember_that_girl
Upvotes	13
Comments	19
Date	July 4, 2018 5:50 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8vz98d/the_difference_between_being_captain_saveaho_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/the-difference-between-being-captain-save-a-ho-and.101775 https://theredarchive.com/post/101775

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