This shit is too much

[deleted] · 2014-09-22T16:22:03+00:00

Now you know the burn of Oneitis. It never helps. It only hurts.

I suggest you cut the EX out of your life completely, and spin the 3 girls you have lined up. Maybe in a year you'll be where you need to be emotionally.

Stayinghereforreal · 2014-09-22T16:37:52+00:00

made out with him.

I think you know what they really did.

She said she will exclusively fuck me, but she wants to be allowed to make out / things like that.

lol Her exclusivity with you will last about 5 minutes into her next "make out" session. Stop it with the denial, mi amigo. This gal is opening up the relationship. You are beta bux.

kingofpoplives · 2014-09-22T17:52:40+00:00

This relationship is over. What is going on now is just a messy break up. You either maintain your dignity and cut off all contact with her, or try to milk it for a bit more sex. Expect the trend of her losing interest, ditching you, and treating you like crap to continue, until she finally locks in the next guy, at which point you will be fully jettisoned from her life.

You sound pretty young, and clearly have a bad case of oneitis. The only good news I have to offer is that it gets less and less intense with each successive girl until it is fully internalized that all truly are the same.

Mr_Reardon · 2014-09-22T18:12:24+00:00

All that's happening here is two people who aren't strong enough to pull the trigger and kill something that's bad for the both of them... You all are doing nothing but prolonging the agony of a breakup.

When I was 16 or 17 my buddy and I were driving behind a pickup that hit a deer. We got out, checked that the driver was okay and then went over to where the deer was laying in the ditch. The thing was busted up, man - mangled beyond repair but still alive. This was up by our cabin, everyone carried a rifle or pistol in their rig and so we had one, but it was still a five minute back and forth before one of us actually walked up, stepped on the thing's neck and put it out of its misery. It was the obvious and only thing to do, there was no way to save the thing, but there's still that little bit of whatever inside that made the killing of something with even a spark of life left in it hard.

If you haven't figured this out yet, your relationship is the deer, man. You're not prolonging things to save anything, you're just squeamish about the end. Pull the trigger.

rushawa20 · 2014-09-22T16:52:40+00:00

If you objectively look at what she's done, you must admit to yourself that it's irrational to 'love' her. Females are ruled by emotions, men are ruled by logic. At least, they strive to be.

Sure, it hurts, but it will hurt a lot less when you're inside of a beautiful girl who is also not a sociopath without empathy. What you need to do is rid yourself of your feelings for this girl, whatever it takes. Do you need to cut contact? Do it. Do you need to be mean to her? Do it.

After the feelings have gone, fuck her as a plate if you wish (as she suggests). But beware; it could bring the feelings flooding back, and I personally wouldn't risk it.

Do you see this woman still in your life in 10 years? I certainly don't, and if that's what you want, I think you need your head checked. Therefore why waste another day on this 'love'?

tyranus89 · 2014-09-22T18:22:18+00:00

In these types of situations, I usually give advice along the lines of 'sure, if your ex is willing to keep up a non-exclusive sexual relationship, go for it until she gets crazy and then next her'.

One problem: you have oneitis.

She sounds like bad news, and you need to get over her. Cut off all contact now and start getting with these Tinder girls. You can call/text/tell your girlfriend something along the lines of "I've decided that I don't want to be with you anymore." She will rant and rage, and probably beg you to stay and try to have sex with you -- do not give in. This is why these things are usually better off done over the phone.

It's hard to see when you're in the middle of it, but I'll point some things out:

Here's the kicker. My ex now told me that she doesn't want a relationship because she doesn't want to hurt me anymore (she seemed legitimately upset about this)

Deep down she wants to fuck other guys, more so than she wants to be with you. It doesn't seem like it, but she's being a good person by telling you this, giving you a full disclaimer. It's the same thing guys do with plates -- full disclaimer at the beginning of the relationship, "This is not exclusive and I have no intention of becoming exclusive".

She probably is genuinely upset, because she still cares about how you're going to take this. Still, not enough to quell her desire to sleep around.

and that she would rather be with me when she can be at least a half-decent person for me

Blatant admission of hypergamy. She'd like to ride the cock carousel for a while, and then when her SMV declines, snatch you up as her beta bucks, because you'll be a good boy who waits for her. How do you feel about that?

She said she will exclusively fuck me

Other comments are correct when they say that this is bullshit, but more importantly, you caring about this is a problem. Guys who plate girls don't care when they sleep with other guys, because they're not attached like that. You have oneitis -- read every post on this sub about oneitis, then read the posts by Heartiste and Rational Male on the subject. It is an awful affliction.

The things that you wrote are major red flags. She probably told you even more, and you decided not to write them for fear of getting ripped apart. She probably did even more, and didn't tell you about it. This is for you to know and for us to speculate about, but don't lie to yourself about what's going on.

I'm in quite the predicament.

You aren't, though. The answer is obvious to everyone on the outside, and it seems like you even know what the answer is:

"She's ripped my emotions apart far more times than I can count"

"I just don't know if I can do this kind of shit."

"This shit is too much"

Cut all ties. Bang the tinder girls. Work on yourself. Become awesome. You're looking at 2-3 months of mild heartache tops, all while banging other chicks. Good luck.

LifterofThings · 2014-09-22T18:30:50+00:00

Just stop with the denial. She's shown you repeatedly who/what she is and you refuse to believe her. Holy christ dude, get a grip.

tyranus89 · 2014-09-22T17:15:41+00:00

Spending time with your ex is a waste of time + energy that could be spent improving yourself and meeting new women

Title	This shit is too much
Author	trpta01
Upvotes	1
Comments	17
Date	September 22, 2014 4:17 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2h4ytv/this_shit_is_too_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/this-shit-is-too-much.142334 https://theredarchive.com/post/142334

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