Thoughts on OLTRs?

Pyro27 · 2017-03-01T17:56:57+00:00

Thanks for the reply and insight man.

As mentioned, she's just an okay plate, nothing special so I won't promote. Ill just continue til she eventually breaks.

IllPanYourMeltIn · 2017-03-01T17:00:14+00:00

So what would actually be different? If you can still fuck other people then you're not exclusive, it's contradictory.

MattyAnon · 2017-03-01T20:32:17+00:00

You did great answering her questions.

Her - But you can still fuck other girls (this sent off an alarm in my head), I just want you to be mine so I can spoil you.

This is a silly thing to say... If you're fucking other women, how exactly are you exclusive or committed? It's really hard to know what she's getting at if you are together but fucking other women.

BD says it about right though in my experience... you can upgrade fuck-buddy to OLTR and MLTR.

It's worth asking girls "what is it you feel you are missing" and "what would be different if we did X".

Obviously you don't give them what they want exactly (eg exclusivity god forbid), but sometimes you can give them enough to keep them happy (eg "I just want to get icecream with you sometime" / "ok, lets go").

AwakenedSovereign · 2017-03-02T00:20:13+00:00

I spun a recent plate for about 4 months before saying "I love you". I had strong feelings for her. Open STR lasted about 5 additional months.

She said it back and said "be mine" but I told her I wasn't in a place to be exclusive yet. She agreed.

Mostly positive experience. She instantly started calling herself my girlfriend, which I did not approve or ask for, but whatever. I made sure everyone knew we were open and let her have the status.

She was down for threesomes and I often hit on other girls in front of her with her support (winged me). The dread was fast and easy. I tend to provide lots of comfort and romance as a holdover from my bluepill habits so this situation really worked out.

She was begging for my attention, asking permission to come even when we weren't together (when she masterbates) 3-4 times a week for the whole duration. We hung out and did gf/bf things and I also kept my options open, gamed other women and fucked a few of them. Had a few 'plates' during this time period but they mostly bounced after a couple weeks of hooking up, not sure if it's related. They may not have felt like competing against her long term but w/e I could fuck who I wanted.

She supposedly never hooked up with any other dudes even though I was hooking up with other girls. I told her she could see someone else but she never seemed interested in anyone other than me, except towards the very end when she started to realize I wasnt ever going to be exclusive with her.

We never did get the 3some but I also didn't really push for it.

Towards the end she started having extremely negative emotional reactions to my newer girls/plates, who were more attractive than her. She kept insisting she didn't want to be exclusive because she knew I didn't want that but then would turn on the water works whenever I told her about a new girl (open honest communication). Started to become a drain and a chore but for a while it was worth it.

This reached its zenith when I met a hb7-8 that I spun for 3 months and then upgraded to my GF. The old open-GF understandably took it hard, but I had to follow my heart. Being 100% honest and above level with everything and making sure my friends and circle knew the dynamic protected me from backlash. I tried to keep talking to her and be friends but that wasn't helping her transition so for now we just aren't talking or hanging out. I'd like to in the future she's a cool person.

That dynamic granted me a steady "gf" for preselection, a wingman for new plates and 3somes, a hang out girl I could have a real emotional connection with, great sex because dread/comfort.

10/10 I will probably do it again. I consider it a sort of midpoint between basic bitch plate and worthy-of-LTR. Girls who are decent but not worth dating exclusively. Very powerful position to be in as a man, but bear in mind how intense it is for them, you have to be respectful, honest, and real. If they start trying to guilt you out of it move on.

DadOnDabs · 2017-03-01T17:43:35+00:00

Sounds like she wants flowers and movie dates but you want your dick and her mouth and cum on her face. I'd say keep going with option 2.

asktrpthrow123 · 2017-03-01T20:44:11+00:00

If you don't want that, just tell her to ask you again in a couple of months. And in a couple of months, do it again. Keep dangling the carrot in front of her.

max_peenor · 2017-03-02T07:33:42+00:00

Her - But you can still fuck other girls (this sent off an alarm in my head)

I'm worried my view is tainted, so tread lightly here. Never the less, here we go. This was the pivot point here. In harems there are pecking orders. After all, there is a reason why that term even exists. This is where you set expectations.

There was this time where I was married (note: she opened up the marriage so I was taking advantage of it). I had a girlfriend. While she got sex, she was my outlet for the dopey romantic stuff. I also had a mistress. She was the wildcat sex monster. The girlfriend knew she got first pickings for dates and dopey romantic shit. The mistress took priority for sex and nights over. The wife knew if there was a family event, that would trump all. All things in balance and they all knew it. At the same time, both the mistress and the girlfriend knew I took in other women too. Expectations are very important; set them and you'd be surprised how far you can go.

Ironically, it was the GF that became the AW, while the mistress went commando on the carousel when this was all over. Meh. I miss both their pussies.

blackedoutfast · 2017-03-01T22:39:32+00:00

as long she doesn't care if you're spinning other plates and doesn't try to monopolize your time and attention, who cares. it sounds like she is fine with being non-exclusive fuckbuddies, but her hamster wants to put a less slutty-feeling label on it.

just make sure you don't catch feelings or start acting like a beta bucks.

shitwiththatass · 2017-03-02T00:28:05+00:00

If you're valuable she could just want to show you off on Instagram as her boyfriend to give the illusion to her friends that she tied you down.

molexp · 2017-03-02T01:54:40+00:00

You gave very good responses so far. Some possibilities are out there.

Could be a given an inch take a mile tactic like /u/Pyro27 says.

Could be her fear of abandonment and need for your reassurance that you would never abandon her, especially after she spends her bests years with you in the future.

Accept her request for commitment but state very firmly about "can still fuck other girls", that there will never be changes to it and she cannot request for changes or it is the end of the relationship.

Also see /u/AwakenedSovereign post about all the benefits

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5wwbx0/thoughts_on_oltrs/dee4q68/

BlackMarmoset · 2017-03-02T03:52:15+00:00

A very good friend of mine used to spin multiple plates. Until a new one joined the rotation and she was cool with him seeing other girls. Then she made him meet her friends, then she convinced him to spend weekends together, then she made him meet her family by "accident", then she bond with his friends and suddenly they are a couple. And now, the best part, she's settling all his friends who used to game with him with her friends.

Women are not like us. We may think as war as blitzkrieg but it's actually a trench war, where sometime you simply fight to weaken the other position and being closer to win the next battle. Do not negotiate with plates, the simple fact you're thinking about what she said means she has more power on you than she should.

Title	Thoughts on OLTRs?
Author	Blankstreak
Upvotes	26
Comments	24
Date	March 1, 2017 2:58 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5wwbx0/thoughts_on_oltrs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/thoughts-on-oltrs.83470 https://theredarchive.com/post/83470

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