Tinder: What am I doing wrong?

GoingTheHardWay · 2017-05-04T18:09:25+00:00

5 - 10 messages is too many. You're talking too much over text / message.

Get their number in less than 5 if at all possible. Most successful guys aim for 3. They already are interested in you if they matched, if they reply, you've ruled out that they're just seeking topical validation and are either seeking entertainment or actually like you.

In my experience asking if someone is available or what they are doing is a weak way to invite someone. It puts an obligation on them to respond in a way they might no be comfortable. If they are not busy, and tell you that, then they know you know, but they don't know what you're going to ask them to do yet. It's too much pressure for girls.

in the same vein, asking if they want to do an activity with you under the assumption or wording that you're doing it because you want them to come with you, puts pressure on them.

Instead, have an activity that you're willing to do anyway regardless of them joining you. Hiking, walking, shopping, fucking whatever. Don't make it an event centered around THEM. Ask (preferably tell) them to join you in your activity.

"I'm going hiking this weekend, I want you to come"

"I have time for a coffee at X:xx tomorrow, lets meet up and I can silently judge you while enjoying my drink".

Things to avoid:

Can you, Will you, if, should, ?'s, any leading statements or hidden contracts that aren't entirely designed to increase investment

blackballed_ · 2017-05-04T17:10:17+00:00

www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3l310a/the_red_pillers_guide_to_online_dating

www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/online-dating/roosters-guide-to-plenty-of-fish

Go apeshit, in a few weeks these have turned my dating life around and my phone is exponentially busier now. Copy-paste-pimpin this morning with "Hey doll how does getting tied up and stretched out by a young stud sound? I'm blackballed_" got 4 bad responses out of dozens of milfs. YMMV

salezman12 · 2017-05-04T17:58:55+00:00

You're asking. Why does everybody ask? Tell them where you're going to already be regardless of their attendance. Tell them when to show up.

jb_trp · 2017-05-04T18:42:36+00:00

We'd have to see your messages to see what's really going on. Communication is subtle, so it would be easier to judge on a case-by-case basis. First, unless you're an alcoholic, skip coffee and get a drink somewhere. Alcohol is a social lubricant. Next, you shouldn't ask them like that. Also, start by giving them your number. I'll usually say something like, "You can text me if you promise to not be weird" or something playful like that. Then I won't wait for them to respond, but will just message them my number. Works 90% of the time.

From there, organize a meetup within a few days. It helps to take the lead and be specific: "I want to check out XYZ bar Thursday night after work. You should come." I try to make it as easy on the girl as possible, so usually first I'll ask her what part of town she lives in, then pick a bar relatively close to her place.

Just a few ideas.

C-grij · 2017-05-04T19:47:59+00:00

Tell them, don't ask if they want to go out. Say something more like, 'Let's get coffee on such and such a day.' Either they say no (next), no but offer an alternate time or agree.

legitshitonly · 2017-05-04T18:33:33+00:00

Fuck. A. Coffee.

FrameWalker · 2017-05-04T19:38:04+00:00

How fit? Six pack? Remember young guys are equivalent to postwall women in terma of smv and young girls are maxed out

Tommy_407 · 2017-05-05T02:11:18+00:00

OP, read the red pill guide to online dating that the previous posters linked to in their reply.

Do not ask, just be more assertive. You are already big OP, now let's aim for some definition and hopefully a good shirtless photo.

Step up your cardio game, get abs, then take the final step and start eating like a real bodybuilder. Eating lean and healthy.

Less texting ask for number sooner.

These are trivial problems everyone has they can be easily solved.

IMHO you are too young to be taking tinder so seriously, there's 1000x more opportunity for getting laid IRL when you're under 21.

Remember online dating is never the answer in the long run. It's always easier for you to get laid in real life.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-05-05T04:46:25+00:00

Maybe you're coming off too serious and/or your profile isn't sexual enough. Check this out:

http://m.imgur.com/a/Y5iWt http://m.imgur.com/a/A7eJx

firewelt · 2017-05-05T17:52:06+00:00

Roughly how much do you make?

Title	Tinder: What am I doing wrong?
Author	Jimmypickles
Upvotes	7
Comments	26
Date	May 4, 2017 5:06 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/698t94/tinder_what_am_i_doing_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/tinder-what-am-i-doing-wrong.90598 https://theredarchive.com/post/90598

Comments