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[–]jb_trp7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I've been single for about 3.5 years and I've gone on hundreds of Tinder dates. It's simple:
When you message first, don't just say "Hey." Say something specific about their picture or profile, hopefully something witty and clever. Maybe tease them a bit or make a joke. And then always ask a question (e.g. "Oh gosh, you're a UK fan? How much do you hate Christian Laettner?"). It doesn't matter what the topic is, just make it interesting and easy for them to respond.
You should be clever enough to message a handful of times on Tinder. If they don't respond or aren't very friendly, just stop talking to them. They are a waste of time. The goal is to generate interest, build a small amount of rapport, maybe test to see their intentions, and then get their number. Every girl on Tinder likes to fuck, just some are less forward about it than others.
To get their number, I won't ask for it. I'll usually say something like, "You can text me if you promise to not be crazy" and then just give them my number. 9/10 times they text right away.
After you get their number, you want to arrange a meetup within a few days. Anything longer than a week, unless they're out of town on vacation, shows a lack of interest and is a waste of time. I'll usually ask them what area of town they live in and pick a beer or cocktail place convenient for them. Some women will want to just come over to your house, which is great, I've had others just invite me to their house saying they'll be naked in their bed "pretending" to be asleep. This is the exception and not the rule.
After you meet, don't be a creep. Focus on body language that shows confidence. Don't cross your legs or arms, head up, shoulders back, focus on eye contact. You've got to read the situation, but usually at some point I'll go for a kiss close. Even if I'm not getting many IOIs (some women are hard to read) I'll try to kiss them as a sort of "hail mary." Sometimes going for the kiss shows enough confidence that the move itself will generate sexual interest. Other times they shut you down, but who cares? You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Even if you're worried the girl might be "out of your league," just go for it and let her decide. Sometimes I'll kiss them at the bar, sometimes not. Often, I like to isolate them before trying for a kiss. A good move would be to suggest to go for a walk to sober up and then try for a kiss, or to just walk them to their car.
It's not uncommon for women to want to bang on the first date. Choosing a place near their house (or your house) really helps with this. Sometimes they'll bang you in the back of the car. I don't really plan these things, just go with the flow. At the point of suggesting to go back to her place (if she hasn't already) you might get some LMR. Blow up the shit test and you'll probably get laid. Like, if she says he house is a mess, just tell her you have a hard hat in the back of your car, so you're not afraid. Whatever.
Be sure to keep condoms in your coat. I'm shocked at how many women tell me that they have an IUD (like, all of them), but I don't trust them and I don't want to catch anything nasty.
Cheers, mate.
[–]smplxty points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Solid. Thanks dude. Definitely going to always go for the kiss from now on. The walk "to sober up" or to her car are solid opportunities if it doesn't happen in isolation in the bar. Cheers!
[–]jb_trp1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh, a few things I realized I didn't mention. When you get their number, and if the flirting is solid and you get a lot of heavy flirting/interest, sometimes I'll send a "sexy" pic. If you're in good shape and feel like you have the green light, this is fine and sometimes a move that escalates the sexual tension and/or shows their intentions. The only thing is: Do not send a dick pic. I've had countless women love getting a pic of me in a towel after a shower, or something like that, send me naughty pictures back, and all of them say thank you for not sending a dick pic. Dick pics are low brow, do not generate interest, and probably hurt your chances of getting laid more than increase it.
[–]beta_no_mo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Go for the kiss as soon as you begin feeling comfortable with them and vice versa. If conversation is flowing freely and you're somewhere somewhat isolated, go for it. I usually go for it while in transit to the second location and my method isn't complicated: at the end of a good joke/exchange between us, I simply put my hand on their waist or the small of their back and gently pull them in while saying "come here" and I've yet to be denied.
The good thing about doing it early is you can tell a lot about their attraction level towards you at that time and generally how the rest of the evening will go.
If they're into you, their response to your kiss will be sensual/passionate and other signs will be given such as pressing against you, moaning, etc. At that point you can move onto the next phase of closing the deal.
If the kiss is rejected or not really reciprocated, you can probably assume that she's not that into you at that point and decide whether you want to continue putting effort into it. I've told some dates "goodnight" after a lame first kiss and nearly all of the other "low effort" responses have not resulted in a second date/meeting because I'm just not about trying to convince a woman to like me. If she isn't into me after putting my best foot forward for an hour or two, it's time to spend my time elsewhere.
[–]Kommanderdude0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
A girl that I dated for a few months from tinder told me she would never go on a weekend date with a tinder guy because (1) She was usually going out with friends and (2) she couldn't use work as an excuse to leave if it sucked. She said if the date/meetup sucked she would just say she had to be up for work early and needed to leave.
[–]akatsukirp0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Haha. Then how is it that I have had tinder weekend "dates" when I'm traveling? I like keeping plates to weekdays. Who cares what she says, if she's interested she'll go for it.
[–]Bongoringo1445 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Probably becauze you are the ultimate alpha male and women break all their rules for you. Teach me your ways oh great pussy slayer.
[–]Kommanderdude0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's just one girl out of probably 50 to 60 from my time on tinder
[–]corsega0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I like to pick her up as it keeps you together when you leave wherever you met. Seems like a girl that wants to drive herself is already putting up walls.
This isn't the 1950s. No one picks girls up on dates anymore.
I suppose it depends somewhat on where you live.
[–]smirk_addict2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's like you tried to find something to give him shit about.
[–]corsega2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree with the rest. Upvoted and didn't feel a need to comment on it.
Ya, the more I think about this, the more I realize how right you are. Picking her up is already supplicating. Just show up and make her want to come over.
Movies or showing my photography are things I've managed to get girls over for. I also have a pretty rad office that's vacant at night in a popular part of town which works as a way to get her alone on date one.
[–]failingtheturingtest2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ya, the more I think about this, the more I realize how right you are. Picking her up is already sucking up.
Bullshit! Don't let society tell you that you have to get the bill or open her do. Likewise, don't let some dude on the internet tell you it's not OK to pick a sheila up anymore. Do what the fuck you want, just don't do it because you think it's what is expected.
Worrying about her 'putting up walls' is inconsistent though. In truth, I want a sheila who's instinct is to put up walls with her tinder date. Only after meeting me do I want her to start pulling down those walls with abandon. If they weren't there in the first place, then every bloke before me was.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"soonest success I've had is second date" REALLY BRO?? you're giving advice and you haven't even banged a tinderella on the first date? I'd say HALF of the tinder/bumble dates I go on (all hb7's+) have been first night bangs. Go out for drinks or shoot a game of pool, kiss her as soon as not creepy - like within the first 5 mins, and then back to my place to see my awesome pad. Wham bam thank you ma'am.
Not giving advice, sharing what I've learnt and soliciting feedback.
Ya, seems high SMV and having a rad pad makes for success. I did have a rad pad at one time and made getting girls back easy. I'm working changing that ASAP.
Do you really give her a kiss in the first 5 minutes? I can't see how this is not creepy unless you've got rockstar SMV.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Swear to god bro, usually when she walks up I grab her waist and kiss her after the initial hug - I mean, you've already flirted a little over text, just have fun man, act like you're having a blast and she won't think twice. It's all frame, just assume she wants the D and it will happen. If she pushes away just laugh it off and try again later, if its not working then YOU need to cut the date off. She should want to kiss you in the first 15 minutes of the date. If not bail.
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[–]jb_trp7 points8 points9 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]smplxty points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]jb_trp1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]beta_no_mo0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kommanderdude0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]akatsukirp0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bongoringo1445 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kommanderdude0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]corsega0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]smirk_addict2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]corsega2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smplxty points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]failingtheturingtest2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]smplxty points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link