Hi guys, I've been a lurker for a pretty long time but this is my first post. I (23 F) didn't want to post on RPWomen because I would really appreciate some insight from guys because I don't have any male friends I can talk to about this.

In fact, I grew up without a dad or any male role model and for years this really messed up my perception of guys ("guys = bad"). All guys in my life (especially my father) were really cruel to me and my mom which is why I find it so hard to trust them. I've never had a BF and only a few weeks ago I had my very first sexual experience with a guy several years older than me which was horrible (emotionally). I really like him but he doesn't want anything long-term, and I know he just used me to have sex (he said he hasn't had sex in 2 years because he never meets any girls due to his professional environment, and he doesn't want a GF because he just sees a relationship as an extra burden).

I know a lot of guys who hit on me, find me attractive, and since I'm a very open/social person I find it easy to talk and meet guys, but it never "clicked" It's making me really depressed. I need an emotional connection if I want to be sexually involved with a guy. I have a high libido, but I don't have the right person in my life to express it. But the guys I meet are either not my type (submissive BPers), already in a relationship, or only show sexual interest in me. Now I'm sitting here, feeling sorry for myself because I feel "wanted", but not loved, and I just want a guy to love me. I mean ffs, I'm 23 and NEVER had a BF, and all guys I was interested in never liked me back. And my lack of trust in guys is really making me feel insecure. What can I do? I appreciate any advice, and if you need any extra info, let me know.