Trusting your gut.

SovereignWings · 2016-06-27T22:41:40+00:00

First off, your GF is gaslighting you.

This is what that means: You share an insecurity. She laughs it off / says your crazy. You then start to associate your 'gut' feeling with paranoia and insecurity. The cycle repeats and gets worse.

Instead of sharing your insecurities like a goddamn sorority girl in the Pillow Fort of Feelings, bury that shit behind a veneer of stoicism. Don't let her see it. Then, when your gut is eating away at you and you feel like you need to do something, VERIFY.

You don't ask her "hey are you cheating on me?" You follow her. You GPS chip the car. You go through her phone or her Facebook. You fucking find out, because she is NEVER going to tell you the truth unless confronted with hard evidence. Maybe not even then.

Alternatively, if all that snooping sounds too "mean" or you just don't care enough about the relationship, demote her to a plate. You assume plates are fucking around anyways so it doesn't matter if she is seeing someone else.

rickymaxwell · 2016-06-27T18:57:20+00:00

It'll be that voice in the back of your head telling you some wild theory that doesn't seem possible, defies reality, defies what words you been told and it's always right.

Borsao66 · 2016-06-27T19:21:15+00:00

Ronin (1998) Sam: Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt.

cyn1calassh0le · 2016-06-27T19:30:46+00:00

I found my ex wife smoking cigs behind my back after we had quit, and generally being shady. She said it was just the cigs, and I let it lie. Turns out she was fucking the bartender at her job. Last time i didn't trust my gut. Everyone has a tell, and your lizard brain will pick up on it before you do.

diskotanssi · 2016-06-27T18:46:06+00:00

Like everything, it comes with experience.

After a few episodes of your gut acting up, just observe the feeling and be aware of it. When shit goes down in your life (break-up, being fired, financial catastrophe, etc), look back and try to pinpoint: Was your gut trying to tell you something in that exact moment?

It's something you have to cultivate.

introvertp · 2016-06-28T02:20:31+00:00

To put it in relationship terms you can pick up little behavioral changes, subtle changes -- but changes in the behavior of people you're around often.

Example; Your LTR might kiss you off to work every morning but that last time was just a little too quick or less sincere. Seemingly she did it the same way like she normally does but something just felt off.

That's your gut.

Your co-workers seem different today, they all said "good morning" like they normally do, but their eye contact is brief or uncomfortably forced. Something is up.

That's your gut.

It's your built in lie-detector, it's your behavior monitor -- trust it when dealing with people. Now, that doesn't mean paranoia, nor does it mean trying to summon it at will but you'll know when it's there because your mind will constantly remind you "something just isn't right" that's when you listen!

BestOfEnemies · 2016-06-28T09:19:58+00:00

There were 2/3 moments in my life when my gut was screaming at me about stuff I just couldn't piece together (Not ex's cheating or anything) but about people in general. And each time I ignored it because i chalked it up to a million different things. On those occasions, each time it turned out when I had an "off" feeling about people or something I was right.

It wasn't until after the 3rd time I realised it wasn't a fluke. It was my gut.

Its kind of hard to explain but you gotta learn to know what that feeling is. When your gut is telling you something. Ive never forgotten the feeling I got on those occasions and whenever I get that same feeling I straight away know that Im right about whatever it is I'm getting a bad feeling about.

As diskotanssi has said, its something that comes with experience and its something you have to cultivate.

raisins3142 · 2016-06-28T13:14:19+00:00

She will say you are insecure even when you are dead on.

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-06-29T00:09:01+00:00

she chalks it up too me being "insecure" "paranoid" even at times "acting crazy" Really has me wondering sometimes if I am crazy, is my ego making me blind, am I insecure..

Bitch be gas lighting you son. The moment some cunt ever tries to gas light me again I will leave nothing of her psyche intact. It's literally the worst shit a girl can pull.

Second trusting your gut is subtle. You will notice things that stand out, odd shit, like it doesn't add up. Her behavior for example will suddenly change without any clear reason. You pick up on this. It could be the way she talks to you or the way you have sex.

Whatever it is, that shift of change triggers the gut feeling. I'd compare it to walking through the woods. Your senses are heightened. Suddenly you get this gut feeling. Something changed. It might be the animals that stopped making a sound. Or a change in the shadows in the background. Airflow that suddenly changes.

You don't consciously pick up on it, learning to interpret your gut is one of the key survival traits for a man.

And yeah if I were you I would treat your girlfriend like the god damn enemy right now. She's basically emotionally abusing her for whatever fucked up reason. People like that deserve no mercy.

Title	Trusting your gut.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	20
Date	June 27, 2016 6:29 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4q4va0/trusting_your_gut/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/trusting-your-gut.107521 https://theredarchive.com/post/107521

Comments