What is “never explain yourself”?

TheStumblingWolf · 2018-08-11T12:26:42+00:00

Replace the word "explain" with "justify" and I think it makes more sense.

Ricklogical · 2018-08-11T12:44:06+00:00

Autists are awkward, don't be awkward about it just shrug and tell her whatever you want. Keep her guessing.

There are so many reasons to do something, you don't have to give the real one ever.

'I shaved to become more aerodynamic'

DesperateChemical · 2018-08-11T12:20:39+00:00

I'm not gonna explain that to you.

BlackMarmoset · 2018-08-11T12:22:38+00:00

You are a man, you don't need to explain yourself for your actions except in real danger situation (e.g. police is involved).

There are many ways you can answer a question without really saying anything. If I find the question uninteresting, I just come up with some bullshit story. In your case:

"Why you shaved your beard?"

"One of the best thing about being a man is that no matter how many times you shave it, it keeps growing"

FlyingSexistPig · 2018-08-11T13:36:28+00:00

You shouldn't have to justify your behavior. When you over-explain your reasoning, you give her power over you.

her: "Why did you shave your beard?"
you: "Oh, uh, I guess, uh, 'cause, uh, you know, uh, because I wanted to"
her: "I liked it better before" or
her: "I like a man with a clean shave"

The first response by her is a put down to you. You're now obligated to justify why you made such a bad decision. The second response by her is more subtle. It implies that you need her approval, her validation, for the decisions you make.

If you instead reply with something strong like, "It needed to be done." You don't invite validation or criticism for your decision. There's also the subtle indication that your reasons are your own.

It's great that you don't see the agenda behind her comment. But it's there. Oh, it's there.

rpsheepdog · 2018-08-11T12:35:31+00:00

"Because I wanted to"

Operator_Axiom · 2018-08-11T16:44:42+00:00

You don't owe anyone an explanation of things you do. When someone wants an explanation what they are saying is they want YOU to justify YOUR actions to THEM. It's a power move. The second you start explaining/justifying your actions then that person has power over you.

As a man you don't give other people power over you. You do what you do and when you do it for you and only you (if you are married then your actions should be for the benefit of you and your spouse and she shouldn't need or feel the need to ask for explanation. But that's a whole other thing). These actions benefit you in some way and it is no one else business on the how are whys. It's almost like someone asking you how much money you make. It's none of their fucking business. If it wasn't enough you wouldn't be doing it.

Once you start justifying yourself to someone then you are going to find that they are going to want justification on everything you do no matter how trivial. And then others will notice it and expect the same. And then you are going to find yourself on eggshells, sneaking around, avoiding, and just being miserable. Not. Fucking. Worth. It.

[deleted] · 2018-08-11T12:25:24+00:00

This is life things.

BuckNekkid18 · 2018-08-11T15:02:13+00:00

It means that people should mind their own business

light-----------dark · 2018-08-11T16:06:04+00:00

“Why not?”

Thunderfin · 2018-08-11T16:53:53+00:00

Give a reason, and stand by it. Don't say nothing (like shut up, none of your business) because that comes across as weak. Just don't make people doubt yourself.

healthyteacher4 · 2018-08-11T18:16:03+00:00

My answer to a lot of things is Black Lives Matter. Keep them guessing.

ShotgunTRP · 2018-08-11T19:11:07+00:00

Why did you shave your beard

“I had an immigrant family living there and had to evict them”

zboo1h · 2018-08-11T19:58:54+00:00

There's this pervasive idea in society that (especially as a man) you have to tell people things when they ask you questions. You actually don't. You can honk like a goose instead when people ask you questions. You can roll your eyes and gnash your teeth like a bridge troll. Or you can walk on by.

You don't owe anyone anything, not even your breath.

dulkemaru51 · 2018-08-11T21:27:44+00:00

The idea behind A&A, ignoring, responding with laughter and not explaining oneself in general is about being stable in your being, i.e. holding frame. Like others have said, it is about not justifying your decisions, not about not explaining them. Some guys get a hold of a self-improvement or PUA bible where the author preaches that you do whatever you feel like doing at every moment and that you never explain yourself and of course those tards come across very badly.

You can listen to criticism, entertain the idea of other people having better ideas of where to go and what to do, you can ask for advice, you can even ask for a second opinion on whether to shave your beard, where to go eat or what to major in in college. The idea is to not do so out of a need to get approval and validation from others, but because you are doing it for you.

--69 · 2018-08-11T23:51:59+00:00

You're supposed to make your decisions and not let anyone question them. If the girl asked you about your beard in a disapproving way, you tell her the equivalent of "because it hurts your mom's clit" or something. If you give her an explanation, you're hoping to get her approval, which lowers your status. A strong man would never do that because he doesn't give a shit what any one random girl thinks.

If she asks out of curiosity, agree and amplify. Give her some bullshit answer, anything as long as it's not a real reason. "So the drapes match the carpet" or something random.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-08-12T00:57:17+00:00

Rub your chin through her tits. And say thats why.

Title	What is “never explain yourself”?
Author	huantran
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	August 11, 2018 12:16 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/96g4li/what_is_never_explain_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-is-never-explain-yourself.129956 https://theredarchive.com/post/129956

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