Whether or not to break it with LTR

mallardcove · 2017-06-23T16:02:38+00:00

But she is absolutely in love with me and has repeatedly stated that she doesn't want to lose me again etc.

I feel partly guilty when I think about breaking up with her.

Why should you give a single fuck about any of that shit? Be a man. It's clear this relationship is toxic but your scarcity mentality is keeping you in it.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-06-23T16:53:05+00:00

Yes. Dump.That.Bitch.

I didn't even have to read beyond the title. Every guy who shows up here asking that question needs to Dump.That.Bitch. They already "know" but they don't know that they "know".

untrp · 2017-06-23T16:09:58+00:00

Once you break up with a girl, never take her back. She can be a plate and you can fuck her, but she was demoted from LTR. Ghost her and get over her.

I encourage you to explore other women and spin some plates. Of those plates, promote one to LTR if that’s what you so choose.

I posted this in another thread, so I’ll post it here as well since it can apply to you.

I always encourage men to spin plates. Spinning plates allows you to have your sexual needs met without relying on a single person to meet them.

It also presses upon your plates what you’re about and instils in them the correct notion that you are a sexual being whose desires will be met when you desire. When you are with them, you will get what you want and they will come to realize, accept, and appreciate that. Plates meet your sexual needs for a hole to fuck, and they fulfill their needs for primal and sexual male attention.

It also lays down the sexual foundation in possible relationships, because of these plates, if you choose later down that you want to promote one of them who not only fulfills your sexual needs, but proves themselves to be of unmatched value to you beyond being just a pussy to fuck, you can promote them to a relationship. The sexual foundation will be the underlying framework to the relationship.

Metalageddon · 2017-06-24T02:41:27+00:00

You broke up because you weren't compatible.

Now you're wondering if you should break up because you're not compatible?

See what I'm saying?

SkimSTi · 2017-06-23T16:27:13+00:00

people generally don't change for the most part. they can surely improve little things here and there. but overall, they can only try to make a better version of who they already are.

without going into much detail (and without knowing too much about you and your situation) you might want to look at you & her as a whole, individually and as a couple. you are a little bit older, i am assuming she is around your age? i mean, once people get to 30, thats pretty much who they are. you can always try. but after a few months, when things get comfortable again, expect to see some controlling traits pop up again. you just have to decide if you are willing to deal with it or not. if you enjoy her company for the most part, then go for it. but be prepared to walk away for good if things go back to the way they used to be. shes on probation.

quicklogaccount · 2017-06-23T17:08:03+00:00

Here's the questions you should answer before thinking of LTRing someone, in order. Stop at the first different answer you give.

Do I think I want an LTR? Yes.
Am I on scarcity, absolute or relative? No.
Do I know what it takes and what it means to lead an healthy LTR? Yes.
Am I willing to take my time finding a girl that makes up for or lessens the unspeakable hassle maintaining a healthy LTR requires? Yes.
Do I know how women unworthy of commitment - most of them - hacks the game to get commitment? Yes.
Is this woman hacking it commitment? No.
Will I regret being with her if tomorrow a Sasha Grey pops by and says she'd love to give me a proper fucking? No.

Ok. Now you can think of an LTR.

bminuscplus · 2017-06-23T20:55:27+00:00

You have oneitis.

Go read the sidebar.

wittizer · 2017-06-23T23:38:16+00:00

Who came after the other after the 4 months?

TryhardPantiesON · 2017-06-24T01:26:34+00:00

You want to stay and leave that relationship for the wrong reasons.

She is promising change from her controlling and dependent nature, and from all the fights.

Promises means nothing, specially for women.

I'm still a bit unconvinced because I can't see her changing.

People don't change. People might behave a little bit, like the case with this woman, but at the end of the day, she is the same woman, controlling, needy, dependent, etc.

But she is absolutely in love with me and has repeatedly stated that she doesn't want to lose me again etc.

But of course, people tend to see the past in relationships with pink coloured glasses, we forget the reasons why we broke up with them, and then go back to them once we start feeling lonely.

I feel partly guilty when I think about breaking up with her.

That's normal and you will feel guilty every time you have to ditch someone out of your life. I felt guilty for unfriending a guy i was close friend for like 10 years, but i had my reasons to do it, and honestly i believe i should have done that a long time ago, because i am not missing him.

My reasons for it include

sleeping with more and other chicks

That's totally normal, once you try one flavor of ice cream you start wondering what the other flavors are like.

potentially finding a better LTR with a more attractive chick (LTR is a solid 8)

Careful, this seems like a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side".

make my family happy

Wrong, you don't have to make them happy, you have to worry about your own happiness alone. Stop caring about what they want, however do listen to their advice, but the decision is yours.

focus on me (I'm 27)

This is the most important reason to leave that relationship.

Based on my personal experience, i would leave, there is no point in continuing that relationship, too much toxicity.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-06-23T16:33:24+00:00

You went back to your own vomit for lunch like a dirty dog. I think you're doing pretty well. You need to escalate the relationship into something more now. It's time u propose to her

Title	Whether or not to break it with LTR
Author	ycthrow
Upvotes	3
Comments	19
Date	June 23, 2017 4:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6j23v6/whether_or_not_to_break_it_with_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/whether-or-not-to-break-it-with-ltr.93079 https://theredarchive.com/post/93079

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