Why don't I ever hear about pre-nups?

TopTRP · 2015-03-12T14:15:00+00:00

Most people's knee jerk reaction to that question is to just say "because they don't work".

That has some truth behind it, but it's a gross over statement.

There are a number reasons why it's not discussed here:

1) Most people are ignorant on the topic

You might wonder then, why is it discussed in other subs by users who are also ignorant

2) TRP userbase is more rational than the vast majority of the other reddit subs where prenups are a relevant topic and as such, the users know to not offer advice in areas of ignorance.

3) TRP is generally against marriage in it's current form so prenups are irrelevant in that context.

If you want prenup info on reddit you should visit /r/legaladvice

NeopolitanAfterglow · 2015-03-12T14:46:46+00:00

Pre nups are an attempt to upgrade marriage from a colossally shitty deal to a somewhat less colossally shitty deal. Anyone on this forum with half a brain knows that marriage in any form is a shitty deal for the man, and shitty deals should be dismissed offhand without a second thought. Find the awesome deals in life, fellows.

tombreck2 · 2015-03-12T14:05:48+00:00

Google "pre-nup thrown out" and you'll realize how little they matter

MattAmoroso · 2015-03-12T16:06:18+00:00

If you're planning for the divorce anyway, why not just cut out the middleman.

David949 · 2015-03-12T18:30:08+00:00

Don't get married! There is no benefit to the man in today's world

If you must insist on rolling the dice hire a lawyer that is interested in protecting the man. Video record her with the lawyer saying that she has no interest in your money. That shit is more powerful then a prenup sighed under duress

Make sure prenups are signed before you get engaged. If it's a month before the wedding it's worthless

Most important DO NOT cheap out. Hire a good attorney

rptastic · 2015-03-13T01:00:57+00:00

Some people are saying to hire an attorney.

Don't do that.

Hire two attorneys. Yours & hers. If you insist on going down this path to marriage, do it the right way. If she has competent counsel representing her, that will go a long ways to help refute any future arguments (by either her or a court) about her being taken advantage of .

Yes, it's twice as expensive as having just one, but it will be way less expensive than a judge setting aside your prenup as being 'overly one-sided' or 'unconscionable' just because she willingly gave up more than what the law thinks she's entitled to.

UnluckyPenguin · 2015-03-13T01:23:14+00:00

If the people on here contemplated marriage like I did, they will realize a couple things:

Pre-nups do not always hold up in court
Pre-nups are very costly (wouldn't it be nice if we didn't need one?)
If a man has any hint of a doubt whatsoever that his marriage could fail so badly that the woman is willing to go nuclear on the marriage, then there is one word: "next".

Even if you don't have a doubt with the person but instead you doubt the marriage system, then simply don't get married. You can do everything unmarried that you could do if you were married.

I wasn't looking to get married. The girl I proposed to wasn't in any rush about getting married either (which is a good sign of not being crazy or having baby-rabies).

Now we're married and nothing has changed about our relationship. I still play video games, go to the gym, go out with the guys, get laid every day, and get awesome BJs every so often. I know I got extremely lucky finding her, but the truth is that she's the lucky one because I have an awesome job and am a good leader.

TL;DR - Looking to get married? Have any hint of doubt with your S.O.? End the relationship. Better women are out there. Abundance mentality.

kick6 · 2015-03-12T22:11:44+00:00

Prenups protect against the assets brought into and created within the relationship that might go to her. The do not protect against any assets necessary to raise any children. So while a pre-nup as the possibility of protecting her from getting half the shit you had before you even met her...............she can still ding you for child support for 18 years based on the amount you currently make, AND there's no proof necessary that even one red cent actually gets spent on the child.

Ergo, child support is alimony that makes an end-run around any prenup.

AnarchyBurger101 · 2015-03-12T17:10:51+00:00

Most people don't have the cash or the connections to make them legally binding.

It's somewhat like patent law, your patent is only valid if you have the legal muscle, and the cash reserves to enforce it.

People of some means who want to keep what they have, they'll get a pre-nup. Some poor SOB who can barely afford a $30k starter home, and makes only $15 an hour, that guy shouldn't get married. Not unless they're both from hyper religious families, and both parties know they'll be shunned if they get divorced, or "live in sin".

Now someone who owns a $30 million business, and is part of the old boys club, if the pre-nup isn't juicy enough when he's thinking of nexting his latest wife, and she tries to fight it, she might find the case is in the state supreme court, and suddenly her "rich" husband has no money in any account she can find, she's up shit creek.

That's what my looney boss did. Sold off an apartment complex so there was money dangling in front of her, and had another apartment complex he was going to sock the rest of his liquid cash into. And meanwhile, there were inspections of other apartment complexes, as in money down the drain for a solid year on repairs.

So she was looking at him having downward cashflow for about a solid year, and money tied up to hell and gone. She took what was offered, and ran like hell. :D

And the thing is, she wasn't GREAT at math, so she couldn't see the big picture, she could see what she could understand, and it looked like a trainwreck down the road.

Which is hell and gone worlds of different from some poor schlub making a wage, and trying to keep his soon to be ex from making him a slave for 15-20 years. ;)

rhettdu · 2015-03-12T19:19:13+00:00

mainly because they have a spotty record of success. Furthermore, in different jurisdictions they might have all the weight of Oscar Pistorius' Valentine's Day card .

Better than nothing though. I wonder if there is any value is discussing the best way to make them successful

rhettdu · 2015-03-12T19:19:14+00:00

mainly because they have a spotty record of success. Furthermore, in different jurisdictions they might have all the weight of Oscar Pistorius' Valentine's Day card .

Better than nothing though. I wonder if there is any value is discussing the best way to make them successful

ThrowingMyslfOutther · 2015-03-13T00:51:19+00:00

Because there is no point or benefit to getting married.

JimmyTheIntern · 2015-03-13T04:17:53+00:00

If you're planning on swerving into oncoming traffic, it's a good idea to have working airbags if you want to survive.

An even better idea would be to stay in your lane and avoid head on collisions altogether.

If you want to flip the coin on marriage, protect yourself as best you can. But the safest way not to lose is not to play, which is why most of TRP will suggest avoiding the risk rather than attempting to mitigate it.

fnordsnord · 2015-03-12T14:00:57+00:00

Because they can't be made binding. Most jurisdictions will set them aside whit little or no effort.

Title	Why don't I ever hear about pre-nups?
Author	you_dont_even_no
Upvotes	15
Comments	14
Date	March 12, 2015 1:59 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2yslsq/why_dont_i_ever_hear_about_prenups/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-dont-i-ever-hear-about-pre-nups.146918 https://theredarchive.com/post/146918

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