Why the aversion to marriage?

beginner_ · 2017-04-26T13:32:46+00:00

Everything you said can be achieved without marriage. You don't need to marry to have kids and get old together. So if you don't want to spin plates, fine. But marrying is a stupid move because it takes away the only power you as a man has in a committed relationship. The power to walk away, anytime you want.

I mean even if you cohabitate, you could pack your most important stuff in half an hour and leave and never look back. If you are married, not possible. You are forced to go through divorce and still deal with her and then pay for her.

Marriage isn't what it used to be. Now it's just a tool from the state to make money (you pay more taxes) and to not have to pay anyone welfare in case the relationship goes south. it will be the man, eg. you that will have to pay that. Marriage ensures that.

Lastly would you ever sign a business contract that can be changed at anytime without your consent? That your business partner can at anytime of his choosing cancel without repercussions? And if he does cancel it, you will have to pay him for the lost money from the contract?

You would not. Yet you did marry. Face it, you have been scammed and now you are rationalizing your decision. The fact you are here is an obvious tell you deep down understand you made a mistake.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-04-26T14:31:04+00:00

There is no logical reason for marriage. You can have a great job, get promoted, be well respected, have a committed girl, raise healthy children without a ring on your finger and legal documents binding you to another person.

A lot of what you said is also false. Married men are not happier than single men.

TheRedStoic · 2017-04-26T13:45:56+00:00

Married men report happier lives.

Learn the difference between causation and correlation.

They are often seen in a more favourable light by peers and family and society as a whole.

Learn the difference between causation and correlation.

It promotes individual social clout and married men are more likely to be promoted or receive bonuses.

Learn the difference between causation and correlation.

Women also tend to consider married men more successful than unmarried men of the same age.

Because god forbid you care about something other than what women think of you.

Disaster532385 · 2017-04-26T13:17:14+00:00

Let's see how happy you are when she divorces you, takes half your stuff, keeps the house and kids and you bleed dry over paying childsupport.

mordanus · 2017-04-26T18:23:34+00:00

I wonder how many times this question has actually been answered. It's like you're brand new here or something. I dunno.

There is just so many things wrong with your statements and a refusal to look at it from any different perspective.

Married men report happier lives

Completely useless stat here. Compared to who? The men who tried to get married but cant? Or is it comparing it to men who have made an actual choice to stay single? I doubt that. Also married men speak about these things like brainwashed cult members. HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE. MAYBE IF IM A GOOD BOY I GET SEX PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ

They are often seen in a more favourable light by peers and family and society as a whole

We cover this a lot. This is a shaming tactic that controls men and keeps them doing what others want you to do. What about what men want to do with their lives? Should it matter what I feel like doing with my life or should I focus on what others feel is more favorable for me to be doing? Fucking free yourself from that mindset.

It promotes individual social clout and married men are more likely to be promoted or receive bonuses

Stupid argument. You know what else gives you social power? Wealth. You will keep more of your wealth by not getting married and having your wife spend it. You will keep more of your wealth by not being divorce raped. Also if your only getting promoted based on having a wife and kids to support that's sad. Being single you have more time to devote to your work, more wealth for you to enjoy, and less stress in your life.

Women also tend to consider married men more successful than unmarried men of the same age

This is a lie. This is just something they say to shame you into getting what they want. Stop listening to what they say and watch what they do. Stop guiding your life by the lies they spew.

Furthermore, if it is a happy marriage it provides great stability and a good support network for children should you have them

And if it is an unhappy marriage? Then what? You hate your life and contribute to the already high suicide rate of men? I honestly know very few men that are happily married. Most of my married friends are miserable. Most of my other friends are divorced from being in a miserable marriage.

GreenPiller · 2017-04-26T15:14:59+00:00

A veteran once told 4 young guys to join the military because it was a great experience for him. Two got killed, one got his legs blown off and is now crippled for life. The last one survived with minor injuries and was given a medal. Stop promoting marriage, you could ruin many lives.

quicklogaccount · 2017-04-26T14:30:56+00:00

It's an heuristic.

The real aversion is towards some of the underlying notions regarding relationships:

More commitment and investment towards a monogamous relationship make one happier;
Every relationship issue is caused by the lack of commitment and investment and is solved by adding more of it.

These are blatant lies.
The first one is the opposite of true, the truth is you either need a fucking amazing woman or the externalities you mentioned (kids, social standing) to make a monogamous relationship worth it.
Devotion towards a woman is stupid, it's at the same time cowardice (you're tasking another person with responsibility about your happiness) and plain stupidity (she can't possibly live up to the expectations of a devoted partner. we devote ourselves to gods because they carry no responsibility towards us, your partner carries).

The second one isn't opposite to truth, but most of the problems in relationships are caused by lack of attraction and not lack of comfort.

That said, the unnatural notion of monogamy wasn't developed only to solve the issue of paternity. Monogamy should also relieve some of the burdens of constant sexual competition between humans, which was supposed to be a good thing.
The problem is that this benefit has been subverted. The structure of the modern monogamy ended up designed to relieve the WOMAN from this pressure, but not the man. And this has been sedimented for a LONG time, it was naturalized, but it's not a working model.

It's your time to unplug.
Look at your own post and notice that you remarked that, despite being married, you expect men to put on effort to remain attractive to get sex. "Be attractive so you can seduce your woman". Fair enough.
Now, do you think that MARRIED women should be submissive and easy to turn on so they keep their husband's affections? If you don't, you're looking at marriage as an obligation to you and only comfort to her. But I'm hoping you do.
And even if you DO believe they must, do you think that even for a second things work that way? Or that someone is fighting to make things work in that way again?

So, there's the point. The real aversion is towards the couple lies that, in this day and age, make it nearly impossible for a relationship to work. A long time ago we'd devote ourselves to our children as we were 21, and if not to them, to some god. "More commitment more happiness" wasn't a rule.

The aversion towards "marriage" is more derivative. We live in a time in which we find it disgusting to see any person being forced to do anything, we even abhor social pressure. EXCEPT if this person is a husband in a marriage, in which case it's totally ok to force him to be affectionate regardless of his own needs and welfare. This institution sux.

WhorehouseVet · 2017-04-26T14:53:54+00:00

Who gives a flying fuck about what people think of you.

T4CK · 2017-04-26T16:13:14+00:00

You're right. A marriage can be awesome. Everything you list and more can be possible from a marriage.

The way I internalize the, "don't get married ever" philosophy is the realization of the "risk vs reward" of marriage. Just conceptualizing the risk vs reward is enough for a lot of men to not want to enter the arena of marriage.

You've tossed the dice and you are experiencing tremendous success with your marriage and that's awesome (seriously). My previous marriage was a tremendous failure (just as serious). I didn't know the risks involved.

In my humble opinion, we often shit on men that want to get married instead of educating them to the very real risks vs rewards of marriage. We need to do it because popular culture and social media are ineffective at sharing all the sides, most importantly the man's side.

hawkeaglejesus · 2017-04-26T16:37:43+00:00

Getting married in the current social/legal environment is like voluntarily contracting Ebola because you think your immune system is strong enough to handle it.

Sure, there's a 50% survival/death rate, but I'd rather just not take that risk in the first place.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-04-26T17:43:53+00:00

Glad it worked out for you, but in the US, there are three parties to a marriage: the husband, the wife, and the state. And the bad news is, the courts have been weaponized against men.

I'm a deal guy and any deal in which one party can withdraw what they bring to the table (sex, companionship, and maybe some light housekeeping) while the other party remains bound to their obligations is a shit deal. Why should I give up half of my stash because some girl ... wait for it ... changes her mind? That's insane.

Then you get to pay alimony, which is a contraction for "all the money" plus child support, so she can bang other guys and teach your kids to hate you.

So that's 50% of marriages right there. What about the ones that don't end in divorce? Ok maybe half of those (25% of total) suck outright and another 15-20% are ok to good, leaving 5-10% in the "Great to 'Storybook Love'" range.

But here's the thing: I can have all that without signing my life away. Indeed, I can have better than that because I can manage relationships with multiple girls. So why would I, or any other man, POSSIBLY give ONE WOMAN the Ring of Power? It's a shit deal.

deville05 · 2017-04-26T18:24:28+00:00

Marriage is needed in order for a nation to progress economically. It's a system that breaks the 80-20 rule and distributes pussy to all men and safety and to all women and ensures survival of the species. It is a system for men so that they don't have to think about procuring sex and they can put their mind to other vocations, jobs etc which build the country. It worked for many centuries until now when countries don't need to built further. Jobs have no purpose or satisfaction and sex is sold everywhere from the moment you open your eyes and married partners are not faithful to each other. On top of that unfair laws are favoring women over men and fucking men over, especially married men. Women aren't the enemy.. Its the capitalists and the lawyers and the system that is the culprit and unknowingly its destroying the desire to be married and that has effects on all aspects of society.

seattleron · 2017-04-26T18:58:29+00:00

You've yet to give a practical, logical reason why being married is a good thing for men.

Married men get less sex, get treated worse, have less money, and way less freedom.

The only benefit to getting married would be kids and not sitting at home alone, if you're one who hates such a thing. Other than that, tell us, in all seriousness, what is the benefit of being married over being single and free and still able to get the above?

jdgalt · 2017-04-27T02:38:32+00:00

In ancient times, when (1) the majority of economic production took place in the home and (2) the life expectancy was about 40, lifetime marriage was a realistic, useful, sensible, and fair deal, that ensured you would be taken care of when you became too old to work, and so would the kids.

Today, every one of the realities in that sentence has changed, and marriage is such a rotten deal for men it's outrageously stupid.

If you need this explained further, go to Youtube and search for Tom Leykis. He shows examples.

Docbear64 · 2017-04-26T12:50:02+00:00

It would be easy to pick apart your statement but there is absolutely no need because your marriage makes you happy and that is great However what you're not realizing is that you are biased , do you see how high the divorce rates are in most western countries ? If you have a happy marriage and let's say at least 1 out of every 2 marriages ends in divorce there is another man somewhere who regrets ever agreeing to marry his wife.

You think something is wrong with this sub for avoiding marriage but then I would have to ask if your marriage is so fantastic why would our bitching here bother you ? You have nothing to prove to us right ?

qitjch · 2017-04-26T15:08:19+00:00

I feel though as long as you stay in shape and keep general rule over her and maintain self respect, the marriage has a great chance at survival.

IMO, this is the entire point of MRP. Many people become complacent after a certain point in their relationship and eventually begin to let themselves go in one way or another. TRP/MRP is here to help men regain their focus on self-improvement and avoid becoming "comfortable" in an LTR/Marriage (if one chooses that route).

I have sex with my wife nearly whenever I want and she truly makes me happy. She's a stay at home mother

It sounds like you and your wife maintain a healthy balance of masculine/feminine which is exactly what TRP preaches, regardless of the relationships title/significance.

iamcos · 2017-04-26T17:13:39+00:00

I agree with what you are saying.

I just recently proposed to my gf of 9 years with a 3 year old son. And although it goes against everything RP says, I went for it anyway.

Why? I went with my gut, the same gut that RP says to absolutely trust. Granted, AWALT and this could end up horribly for me in the future, but who cares. I don't live in the future, I live in the present. It seems stupid to deny her something based no the possibility that she can potentially betray me later on. That's just to pessimistic for me.

In my opinion a truly RP man would not be afraid or avoid marriage because he is so sure in his ability to judge his woman, his ability to consistently improving and increasing his resources and his ability to no give a fuck about the consequences because he is sure he can handle almost any situation.

I don't believe AWALT, more like LPOWALT (large % of women are like that), in the same vein that only the top x% of dudes are getting women.

I love red pill but its become so negative these days. One life to live, experience life to the fullest, make your mistakes, learn from them keep moving forward till you reach your expiration date.

jtzabor · 2017-04-26T13:15:54+00:00

I could type a bunch of stuff but im lazy so here you go and try and argue with this: Your dumb.

Title	Why the aversion to marriage?
Author	herbyx13
Upvotes	5
Comments	39
Date	April 26, 2017 12:35 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/67ntu0/why_the_aversion_to_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-the-aversion-to-marriage.90158 https://theredarchive.com/post/90158

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