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How to be a woman's first choice?

February 16, 2022

28M what i see mostly in redpill is Alpha get the women at their prime and women settle for the betas at the decline of their youth. I know myself im a beta, as most women wanted to settle with me after they have had their fun in the youth but couldnt lock down the guy they have been with, even they were with me they used to weep all over those guys. It was humiliating as well as depressing. Like i was there for those women always but the guy she wanted to be with never didn't wanted to be with them. So i know myself a beta a friendly soft guy. Im at 28 now and im not a rich or famous or a cool bad boy. And just because i know red-pill it doesn't make me alpha guy either. One look at me and any guy measures me as the soft beta innocent guy. I just want to know what a guy can do to get these hot girls at their youth? Not after they have been with many guys. Am i late now to get a such a cool girl at their youth? Im asking this i have no place to ask this

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Post Information
Title How to be a woman's first choice?
Author blackhammer57
Upvotes 1
Comments 6
Date February 16, 2022 11:44 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/newTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/newTRP/how-to-be-a-womans-first-choice.1101974
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/newTRP/comments/stty8z/how_to_be_a_womans_first_choice/
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[–]throwoveraccount 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

1.- The red pill relies a lot on metaphors, just the sight of Alpha/Beta cringes me. Society is 100 times more complex that said duality, and even if in today's world the inter-relationships between men/women are showing to be "disposable/utilitarians", the truth is that there's lots of valuable persons to share your time/life with.

2.-Your question is unapproachable, is as broad as asking "how to be millionaire". Sure, there will be many books and gurus taking advantage of clueless guys, looking for a formula or an easy answer. There's not.

3.-The closest to your answer lies nonetheless in your personality/looks within certain social group. That is to say that even "successful" persons in certain social environments, would just not fit in every place in the world. As regards personality, you have to develope an atractive set of features that you cannot fake, for instance reliability, assertiveness, leadership, creativity, etc. There is no "one size fits all", that's why you should have a model of person (real or fictional) to "imitate" and work towards becoming someone worthy, but first, try to identify valuable features. As regards body, within 2 years of dedicated workout or following a challenging hobby/sport + diet, you can look better than the 80% of the population.

4.-You are not too old, at all. In today's world most of the people have post-poned settling down and forming families in favor of pursuing their careers.

[–]blackhammer57[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Well i know its a broad question but what i wanted to know what attracts to a decent young girl in her prime. Tbh all the women i met are still drooling over their one ex that got away. They are still reliving those memories and they are open about it. And they do this infront of me without hiding and its sad and embarrassing too. Like im never be good enough for them. Even if they not tell this their acts tells it. Almost every girl i dated has done this. And when i see people in relationships on social media i can see how much they love their guy. And it makes me sad. Never ever woman has love me like them as they tag them in selfies and they tag them in posts etc. a woman has never done anything to me like that ever. I just feel like i dont have that vibe or aura that a woman get to love me crazily. They only settle me at the end cause im the dependable responsible older guy and im their shoulder to cry on after these guys done dating and left them. Im like the good samaritian who cares those bad damaged women at my cost. It sucks. I always get the left overs. I can tell its not the body. Even skinny or fat guys i know have women drool over them after their relationship ended. I know women tried to suicide cause their relationship has ended or the guy bailed. But im just an unlucky person.

[–]throwoveraccount 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

In all honesty, sounds like you are surrounded by low value women allowing them to use you as a back up plan. Why are you even allowing this kind of person in your life, and keeping up with that after what you witness on them? Plus, why do you want drama in your life, with women acting desperate after a relationship?? That's not a parameter of love nor anything else. You sound like you really have to work on your self-esteem.

Work on developing an authentic character, something that allows you to stand out, put yourself short and long term goals to check your progress on it. Confidence and intelligence are always desirable traits for women, work on it! Talk to more people, do some unexpected things every now on then, take a trip alone and be sociable. Read more, learn about cultures, listen to new music. Travel! As I said in the other comment, there's no magic formula to improve oneself.

Lastly, you are the responsible for allowing that kind of women in your life, providing them a shelter to overcome their exes, and keep it up with them. You are fostering that behavior. Cut it! Set boundaries, respect them!

[–]blackhammer57[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. I dont believe they are low value woman cause they have met a person at point they still cant get over. And they still feels those moments and reliving them. And i feel like im competing for those dudes while im their 2nd choice. Just at some points they are fair. I mean im from a normal avarage family. My parents even doesnt rich or have good social lives or personalities. All they dont have much of a life either. So i am same as them. Im not a cool badboy or a life of the party. I used to be a shy meek quiet pushover guy. But im now recovering. Those dudes these woman used to date they are so much far ahead than me. I mean when i learn to hookup at age 28 those dudes have done those things with this women 5years ago. I mean im a late bloomer. Every aspect of my life. Studies career love etc. so when i meet these woman they have had their time with those dudes at back of the day, while i was a nervous shy guy figuring out what life was, those people have lived their lives out of the house enjoying the moment. When i figure what love sex etc all im getting is leftovers. I simply curse myself for last 5-6 years i have been so immature and I simply didnt even knowwhat to do with life. Cause my parents are immature im immature too. No any life experience or moments to make me matire for my age at home. So basically the woman my age are gone and settled now. But the woman who are younger than me are also having their time with these cool ass bad boys, i mean simply those younger women also are taken by now. Feels like im getting skipped by every generation of girls. They just settle for someone their age while my age has gone. Idk its so sad. Like no one ever wants you. I mean i dont know how to be someones first choice. I wonder how other people get presents and gifts from girls, i wonder how women suicide over the girls, i wonder how these woman cry over these guys even after years gone, i mean what they have and what am i missing? Why i never make an impact in their lives? Why they dont feel like the same way they feel about those dudes? And why i cant i get a pretty woman like others?just beacuse im not cool boy do i have to settle with a some avarage woman? On top of that all my friends and colleagues are getting married. I have the peer pressure too. Like when and how im gonna get a gf? How im gonna find one when i simply have a no life?

[–]throwoveraccount 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

im their shoulder to cry on after these guys done dating and left them

Your are literally allowing yourself to deal with emotionally dependent persons, stuck on their past, who wouldn't doubt a second to jump to another relationship, basically offering them emotional support to someone who you do not have even bond. Seriously, what are you expecting?

How im gonna find one when i simply have a no life? / im immature too

What are you expecting?? Why would someone would like to invest her life with someone who is still figuring out all of these fundamnetal things. You either will have to lower your standards or GET OUT of your comfort zone, start to enjoy life and figure out your future. If you are already working on it GOOD, it will take time, patience

woman my age are gone and settled now

This is not the 1900s, you can date younger girls and as well move to a bigger city, where people settle down after their 30s at least. Don't limit your options

Laslty, stop pitying yourself and work on your flaws. Learn to recognise your failures, and work on them.

[–]blackhammer57[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you very much

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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