20M Need Cold Approach advice

burncushlikewood · 2025-10-28T07:40:55+00:00

Nobody cares, you think it's wrong to be attracted to women, it's normal to be interested in her, just go up and talk to them, worse case scenario she rejects you

AttractionIntel · 2025-10-28T08:42:52+00:00

I've dealt with the same problem and fixed it over the years. At its most fundamental level, it comes down to 2 things:
1. You care too much about what bystanders (who really, are just strangers) are going to think of your approach. More specifically, you're worried they'll judge you for being weird or creepy (tell me I'm wrong)
2. Having that kind of attention on you means stepping into tension. Looks like your ability to be comfortable with and to handle that kind of tension is low (for now).

Good news is this can definitely be fixed. I've done it.

Bad news is that there aren't any shortcuts to "work around" it. You have to consciously step into these situations and "train" your nervous system to go from freaking out to straight up basking in these situations.

What you can do the make the process easy and not nearly as overwhelming is to start small and progressively step into more and more tense situations.

That way, you'll start to get comfortable and develop an unconscious ability to be comfortable in situations like this - which btw, is the extremely attractive to women on a primal level.

Long story short, having people watch your approach = tension.

The more you face these situations head-on, the more your nervous system realizes you're not going to die and calms the f down, making you more relaxed and calm "under pressure"

Bullbythehorns25 · 2025-10-28T07:31:39+00:00

People don’t care about you remember.

Kierenbrowncoach · 2025-10-28T07:41:16+00:00

Nobody’s actually watching you, man. The “spotlight effect” is just your ego making you think people care way more than they do. Everyone around you is too busy worrying about themselves to notice your approach, even if you walked up, got rejected, and burst into flames, they’d glance once and go back to scrolling TikTok.

The only way past it is to act while it’s there. Approach even when your heart’s racing. The fear won’t disappear until you prove it’s harmless. Start small: say hi, give a quick compliment, walk away. Every time you do it, you’ll feel less pressure and more control.

And don’t overthink the line. Just something simple like, “Hey, you looked interesting, I had to say hi.” That’s it. Confidence isn’t built in your head, it’s built in motion.

Commercial_Fruit_270 · 2025-10-28T08:13:51+00:00

Let's keep it simple if u want pusssy then get over right and wrong of society. If there is a spotlight effect it will be tough on her not on you. Get out of ur comfort zone and get into the game

InvestigatorFull1364 · 2025-10-28T11:25:52+00:00

On the practical side: You should actually feel better when there are people around. The girl will be more at ease and the whole thing will be easier.

Now ideally your approach should be strong enough to make her stop whatever she was doing, but under no means you should be actually getting attention from the surroundings. This is way easier than it sounds, just talk normally and you will be ok.

As for the inner workings of AA here: https://coffeedaygame.wordpress.com/2025/05/02/approach-anxiety-is-a-feature-not-a-bug/

Viking-Warrior-2025 · 2025-10-29T09:31:53+00:00

I love it when people watch. It means I'm doing something right. People are not that interested in random strange guys.

CHINO-HILL · 2025-10-29T05:59:05+00:00

well l mean if ur cold aproaching, chances are no one likes u anyway, so if they see u cold aproaching, ur reputation cant get any worse than it already is

Rahulmeena2001 · 2025-11-01T07:26:05+00:00

Simple go to her say, I love you. I Want your number

Title	20M Need Cold Approach advice
Author	Dangerous_Post_3851
Upvotes	9
Comments	11
Date	October 28, 2025 7:26 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oi30pr/20m_need_cold_approach_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/20m-need-cold-approach-advice.1565205 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565205

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