21F and never have dated anyone

zombiesmoke_ · 2025-04-10T07:01:47+00:00

You're scared of the physical part I'm scared of the emotional part lol

FamishedFondler · 2025-04-10T06:35:10+00:00

If it’s any consolation, I’m 21M and prioritize taking things slow. I don’t like rushing into intimacy. So there are guys out there that don’t take things fast

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-04-10T05:37:59+00:00

Just take it slow. As you gain more experience you will feel more comfortable going "faster." Learn how to enact your boundaires, refer to my post on that.

Dating in your 30s will suck and you will have a sense of rushness, now where you're 21 you have the widest pool of people to choose from, just download an app and go on a few dates.

Most of them will be horrible, but eventually ypu'll meet one you like.

Regarding the trauma when it comes to getting physical, you have to resolve that using forgiveness and letting go. Refer to my how to love yourself (self love) post.

Goodluck

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-04-10T05:50:24+00:00

Go at your own pace and be firm on setting boundaries. Don't go over to a guy's place or invite him to yours as he may push for sex. Meet him at public places where there are other people and in environments where you feel safe plus have good lighting, etc. Don't be afraid to speak up if your date does anything to make you feel uncomfortable. Communicate as well as you can and make sure any guy does the same. If he speaks in veiled or vague language, make him clarify so you are both on the same page.

lettucefries · 2025-04-10T07:54:47+00:00

It's okay you'll meet someone who is patient, in my last relationship my ex was like you. I even thought she might be an asexual, but things worked out fine when we got into the relationship, i let her take her time. She had Vaginismus too so like for a year we just had sex wtihout PIV, and we did agree that it wasn't physical but mental. She was just too scared and eventually could let go of the fear and we started having sex and it was great.

Too bad, she cheated on me

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-04-10T08:57:54+00:00

I’d be very transparent with the next guy you meet. I think you’ll find they’re ok with it and it can be fun and hot.

The problem you are likely having is guys are trying to sleep with you as they fear getting put in a friend zone etc. if you just clarify that you are interested but actually just need to take it slow I think you’ll have more success

BloodxRains · 2025-04-10T12:59:00+00:00

There's some guys that are more patient than others when it comes to this but most men do want to get physical 2-3 good dates in so just be honest with them and tell them where you stand and see how it goes.

I'm personally willing to wait a little longer if the woman has a good personality and vibes about her.

Flatearthianxingping · 2025-04-10T17:32:18+00:00

I’m 24 never dated single woman

hotglue0303 · 2025-04-10T18:05:06+00:00

You will definitely find more success in a big city. For example the dating scene is huge in NYC and its way easier to find people who align with your dating goals

Rhino3750ss · 2025-04-10T12:14:27+00:00

Just be open and honest at the start that you are not that kind of girl and withhold until you are completely comfortable, but don't frame it like it's a rejection unless you already cathing the wrong vibes.

the right type of guy for you will respect you for it, he won't think less of you. I respect my current girl more than anyone I dated because she was the only one who was not easy. If you go on dates with a guy without spending nights together and his communication patterns and emotions remain stable and he wants to keep knowing you, he has discipline but still interested in you. You won't find that type of guy on the internet, those dudes are on dating apps because they are urgent. The patient guys are the guys working at volunteer projects and participating in community events, helping around the animal shelter, actually doing good for the world, they take more joy from bringing others gain than a night of bedroom fun.

travism2013 · 2025-04-11T01:56:42+00:00

I recently turned 29. Point is never did I try or try all that hard about the dating pool. I was raised to focus on job/ career and get good at that kind of stuff and life.

In a lot of ways yes it can sound how it will to you...but I've learned the best thing - money grows when you invest it right....so when you find someone...you invest time and the reward is having a strong foundation for a healthy relationship - in the ideal sense.

So....slow is probably 99% of the time best for both involved unless both don't want that but rather want a "cash grab" aka hookup. Then ignore my unsolicited advise.

We are all seeking relationships here because we yearn for human connection and in the end - family in some way.

Good luck to you! And yeah - both sides can be honestly somewhat afraid, hell a guy could be SO INTO YOU he gets perf. issue because he has expectations he feels he has to meet - so you could be so good as you are NOW to a good guy that you give him perf. anxiety - it's a huge compliment seriously...or he's addicted to pron.

4marksmojo · 2025-04-12T01:07:15+00:00

As a woman 98% of you being able to pick up a guy is not be obese. We're not generally that picky

MysteryLiezer · 2025-04-10T05:17:27+00:00

Trust me, you don’t…

BuyHighValueWomanNow · 2025-04-10T19:45:54+00:00

So, you are a kiss-less virgin? Are you overweight?

Title	21F and never have dated anyone
Author	Aggressive_Crew_2225
Upvotes	37
Comments	17
Date	April 10, 2025 5:12 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jvq7l3/21f_and_never_have_dated_anyone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/21f-and-never-have-dated-anyone.1549128 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549128

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