[22/F] Why do men flake on plans when they have initiated them themselves? Should women follow up again?

whyaminotdoingmyjob · 2018-07-09T12:04:30+00:00

I'm a total dirtbag so take this with a grain of salt. If I flake on a girl 1 of 3 things happened. 1 I'm in a funky mood and just want to be alone. 2. something more interesting came up. and 3. which is the most common lately: one of the more attractive girls I've been talking to agreed to hang out. again.. I'm a total dirt bag.

At 37 you think he would be doing his best to get with a 22F especially if he's able to pick up on IOI's.

Try making the next one easy for him. Pick a nice venue near his place so he doesn't have to travel far. Meet at 7:30 so you're not keeping him up late. "Hi I've heard great things about BarNearYourPlace what are you doing this week" Hopefully he likes the bar and doesn't hate it

OOORRRRRR just send nudes to get his attention.

Tharoks101 · 2018-07-09T11:35:50+00:00

Well I wouldn't go lumping all men into this however for the case of this one guy if he is really into you I would expect him to be on top of your offerings for dates and such. Just from my perspective, so it could be wrong, there is a significant age gap between you too and maybe he doesn't see you as a possible date. However I find it wrong of him to just completely ghost you like that. In my opinion dont take it personal it might just be him and his mindset but if he's not really willing to give you at least an excuse he may be a lost cause. Again this just my take on things. I could be wrong as I dont know him. Good luck moving forward though

HeartBreakRidge · 2018-07-09T13:42:26+00:00

Is it possible he might be married or in a relationship and something has come up in that world of his life?

2018-07-09T19:09:39+00:00

Same advice for guys, next him.

Guys will be flake over different situations. When I didn't follow up with a girl it was mostly because I met and started talking to a girl I was more interested in.

But, that's not something you can change. Like, he might have met you and you were a solid catch. But, he ran into like a level 10 girl and started to give her time.

Yes, it's also possible he has a girl or wife. Which cuts down the window of time you can text or talk.

zzquestion · 2018-07-09T19:56:32+00:00

It might be different ways of communicating due to the age gap. You think you have plans but “hang out this weekend” or something like that doesn’t sound like a plan to me (someone in their 30s), it sounds like an invitation for more specifics. A plan to me is, “Okay, I’ll meet you at 3:30pm Saturday at x location. Confirmed?” and him replying “Yes. I’ll meet you there.” Anything less than that, I’m not adding it to my calendar, and if it isn’t in my calendar it doesn’t exist.

miamiedge · 2018-07-09T20:30:19+00:00

In my case it's always been one of two reasons:

(1) I was borderline interested ...and then lost interest (no message)....and then regained interest (message after a long absence). I know it's frustrating and unfair to the woman who offered me a chance but that's how I was feeling.

(2) Got into an introverted state and don't have the energy to be social.

Edit: He's 37 and you're only 22 so I doubt it's #1 though.

ImAnIronmanBtw · 2018-07-10T03:48:53+00:00

Too tired or dont give a shit.

NachoLFLM · 2018-07-10T10:01:27+00:00

Funny how girls do all of this all the time. Youve probably done it to someone so you tell us why

Anyways just because hes 37 doesnt mean he doesnt have anything better to do. Spoilers[it isnt that hard to get a 20 some year old in your late 30s early 40s] i guess that response is more to the people talking bout his age

Otherwise have you thought that maybe hes just weird, or busy, or likes to get high and forgets about you or likes making power moves like flaking on you and ignoring you a little

Also none of what you plan toghether seems very set in stone.

Also women are never too pushy, you might seem desperate but men don care, how about you try to set up a date with an actual date atached to it

roxloxjox · 2022-09-29T18:03:16+00:00

To answer the question. He is an impulsive person. Meaning he will make plans in the moment. Then if he meets someone else he will make plans with them in that moment. He does what he feels like in the moment

Title	[22/F] Why do men flake on plans when they have initiated them themselves? Should women follow up again?
Author	toscano1100
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	July 9, 2018 11:11 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8xalpu/22f_why_do_men_flake_on_plans_when_they_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/22f-why-do-men-flake-on-plans-when-they-have.1449584 https://theredarchive.com/post/1449584

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