35/m with kids, need some advice

mabden · 2012-08-09T17:37:58+00:00

I know this is going to be deemed unhelpful, but I can't help but think this is an example of "owning my situation."

One time my SO was being particularly insecure and needy. She was planning on visiting relatives out of state for a few days, leaving me with the kids. She asked what are you going to do while I'm gone? The tone had a somewhat accusatory hint to it, that I would be up to no good while she was away.

My nonchalant reply was, "Well, I figure I would load up the kids in the station wagon, cruise around town, and pick up some chicks." She laughed, nervously.

That is how you own your shit. Don't give a fuck.

2012-08-09T18:12:33+00:00

That's why young 20's seems like the right age for me.

The right age for everyone

KeroKeroKeroppi · 2012-08-09T20:14:24+00:00

What's wrong with B? :D

kb13733 · 2012-08-10T00:10:27+00:00

Okay. So... I'm probably not the best for giving advice but I'll use myself as an example since I seem to fit between the two categories. I'm 20 years old, have tattoos, gauges but then I have goals for college, and eventually want kids but not until probably my 30's. I don't mind dating guys with kids, I really like kids so I don't consider them "baggage".

Anyway, it seems like you are having a hard time meeting girls, I guess, like me. I'm quiet and don't go out often so to find me specifically, it'd be online or while I'm at work at an assisted living center.

To OWN the situation: Be upfront. After a couple days of chit chat, don't be afraid to be like, I'm looking for X, Y, and Z in a relationship. If I think I can't offer that in the long term then I'll let you know. Most women SHOULD do the same, unless they are the crazy ones. But if you like the girl, be upfront but don't be afraid to compromise later in the relationship.

Anyway, definitely put your kids first. I don't want to impose on the family situation until I have a secure long term spot as your partner in a relationship. Tell me about your kids very first. Talk about your kids but not excessively. Also don't let me meet the kids too soon. Meet after about a good solid 6+ months of dating. Then go out on excursions and make damn sure to be a family unit even though its just gf/bf stuff.

Maybe try the online dating scene to meet local girls. Its where I go but there isn't a lot of options where I live. If you want to meet a girl in person, I hang out in Barnes & Noble (personal preference for a hang out spot) but I'd be stoked if a guy came up to me and we started discussing books and what not. Thats a cool way to meet a girl.

Not sure if anything I have to say will help. But there are cool girls out there that will be what you are looking for.

Title	35/m with kids, need some advice
Author	superfuntime
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	August 9, 2012 5:04 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xy47t/35m_with_kids_need_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/35m-with-kids-need-some-advice.1337021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1337021

Comments