A back and forth with my brain on approaching girls...

ChipmunkZombie · 2016-09-23T00:33:40+00:00

I used to be stuck in the same circular reasoning. I realized I had settled for the hope of being with a woman rather than the actual experience. A few years ago I had the epiphany that my mind found happiness in the hope I gave it that someday I would have a girlfriend and be happy. Whenever I was considering approaching a woman, my mind would convince itself that it is too risky, becasue the hope it valued would be on the line. My mind knew that if I was rejected then my confidence would plummet and it would be hard to place any hope in my future love life. Basically, I used to treat my love life like Schrodinger's cat. I was gravely afraid of opening the box to see if the cat was dead or alive (approaching a girl) becasue I knew there would be a possibility the cat is dead (women hate me/ im ugly/ no one will ever love me) and I couldn't live without that little bit of euphoria I received when imagining the cat being alive.

TheXXL · 2016-09-23T05:04:24+00:00

Because I don't wanna be rejected/ignored or creep girls out."

Those things are real risks. It happens. Rejection is a constant occurrence for various reasons, being ignored is some that happens very rarely, and creeping her out is totally up to you. Now that we got this out of the way, how do you deal with this?

Rejections: something we all hate, some even take to heart so much it might destroy them. But it should not. The reason it destroys is that you take it personal. Sure, sometimes it is, a girl could simply think you are too fat, skinny, short, tall, ugly, beautiful, red, white, black, green, purple whatever. It does not matter. You should not care why, since it does not matter. All that should matter to you is how you think you are! Do you look into the mirror sometimes? Definitely. What do you think? "damn he's ugly"? Or:" that guy looks normal " or:" man, I look so sharp, I'd fuck me if I was standing in front of me! "?

You have to get to that point where you are saying the latter! Then the only thing you think about a rejection is:"she must be sick or something, maybe she has bad eye vision, I could not think of any other way she doesn't want me... Well, it's a loss for her, the next girls will be much more lucky".

Being ignored: why would a girl ignore you? Only if she doesn't hear, see you, if she is scared or simply a fucking bitch. Would you want to be with a bitch? A girl that has nothing but mean behaviors towards you? No. Knowing this, you thank her for weeding herself out and not wasting your precious time!

Being creepy: do you think you are creepy? I guess so, since you lack confidence. And I mean real confidence. You even might be creepy, but probably only because you try to be something you are not yet. Being real is extremely important. This means you are imperfect, this means you can make mistakes and have feelings.This makes you interesting for other people. Of course it's extremely important to not show too many feelings at first, but you need to hint at it. Then, there's another factor about creepy. If you feel creepy, she will feel that too. She might even feel that at first, but if you are comfortable, her emotions will follow. It's like watching a sad movie where you can't help but hold back your tears, even though you know it's pure fiction!

All in all it comes down to how you think. If you have doubt with something trivial like approaching girls, say to yourself that those fears are stupid, without reason. Tell yourself "I will show you that I can, whiny bitchy me!" basically treat this side of you like an asshole that wants you to fail.

Why do you give a fuck about that? "Because I feel it will reaffirm the notion that I'm not good enough."

That's the asshole side of you that wants you to be miserable. You need to fight it off, always disagree with it! It wants you to fail and it feeds off of your failure. You have to starve it by showing it that you can! From what I remember you have approached women already, correct me if I'm wrong. So you have shown it already that it doesn't have that much power over you. It will fight you, but it is so much easier to defeat than anything else if you always shove it away, showing yourself you can do it. No matter what the reaction of any girl is like. If you always change your approach a little bit, keeping in mind what went not so good, you will have success one day, and then another day and the next and someday, you will simply know what to do to have that girl drooling over you in a heartbeat. It all comes down to confidence, which is started by positive thinking and then confirmation by being successful. Practice, fail, practice more, fail more, then you start to fail less and less.

ozzagahwihung · 2016-09-22T21:31:09+00:00

Stop making excuses

Title	A back and forth with my brain on approaching girls...
Author	gtrman571
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	September 22, 2016 8:00 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/540w9c/a_back_and_forth_with_my_brain_on_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-back-and-forth-with-my-brain-on-approaching.1412833 https://theredarchive.com/post/1412833

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