"And when you're out there without care

Yeah, I was out of touch

But it wasn't because I didn't know enough

I just knew too much." -- Gnarls Barkley

Knowing how to protect yourself against scorned/spurned/jilted lovers is an important part of keeping your game (and reputation) clean. These are a few tips I've picked up over the years, please feel free to share your own tips and stories.

(0) Never stick your dick in crazy.

(1) Try not to use your real name when you're gaming close to home and/or if you're not certain about her mental state. (a) If she asks to see your ID, you have a couple of options: a fake ID or something with your pseudonym on it, or simply walk away (feigning indignation) (b) The reason for this is that if she later turns out to be crazy/batshit insane, you have some protection from her digging up your personal information (this has saved my ass a few times).

(2) Use a phone number forwarding service, such as google voice (you can get an alternate number which forwards calls to your cell number, and vice versa, for free). This is cheaper & easier than changing your phone number.

(3) Don't take her to your place -- always go to her place if you can.

(4) Never shit in your own backyard. Do not game women from work or from your neighborhood ... it seems like an easy target, especially that HB receptionist or HB in accounting. Horrible idea that can backfire in so many ways (also, if she's fucking you, chances are she's fucking the boss too... problem?)

(5) Be respectful when you dump her. This is personality and situation dependent, but this could save you some grief later.

(6) Let's face it, some of you are married and messing around. This is a douche move for sure, but if you are married, never, ever, ever, ever tell the girl that you're married. Even if she is (another douche move). She will even say stuff like "You know my situation, it wouldn't bother me if you're married too." It's a trap.

(7) Don't give too much detail about your workplace. I've known about jilted lovers who have e-mailed "the boss" with all of the e-mails and texts that have been sent to her. While it may result in a high-five, depending on the boss, it could also end up as a reason to fire your ass.

(8) Keep your lies straight. Try to have as few lies as possible, and of those, keep a set that you're consistent about. For example, I have a false career which is similar to my actual career, I work somewhere that cannot be accessed casually (security /gate pass/ ID required, etc.), so I don't really need to lie about where I work.

(9) Own a house? If you tell her your real name, and that you own a house, she can easily find your address -- home purchases are public records.

That's about all I can think of. I look forward to your comments and additional tips/thoughts.