My purpose in writing this is to help you become your best self so that you can meet and attract high quality women. I believe you attract to yourself that which you are so as you improve yourself, the quality of women in your life will improve. With that said, there are factors you can control in your life; diet, exercise, and the amount of sleep you get, and there are factors that you have no control over. For example, you might not be able to control whether a woman likes you but you can increase the odds of her doing so. Those factors you can control, let’s have them work to your advantage.

1. “Every master was once a disaster.”

“Every master was once a disaster.” Virtually every big playboy or player that I know was at one time clueless when it came to women. None of them came out of the womb as successful playboys. They weren’t born already knowing how to do this. Through trial, error, and study, they developed a method that worked for them. If they could become successful at this, so can you! So please, be patient with yourself during this process. You’re learning a new skill, a new way of interacting with the world, so allow yourself as long as it takes to become proficient at it.

2. Hygiene

Bathe regularly; this is a way to release toxins from your system. If you have bad skin, improve your diet and look for washes (both facial and/or body) that can help. When I was in high school, I used Neutrogena facial wash plus some stuff I got from my dermatologist and that cleared up my skin issues. You can also find good bathing products at your local Trader Joes or Whole Foods.

Deodorant – I have some friends who are from other parts of the world and they are very laid back in their use of deodorant (if they use it all). Once they start sweating, everyone around them can smell them. While natural scent might be a cultural norm in their part of the world, it’s not in the United States and detracts from their social interactions. Pick a deodorant that smells good to you and lasts for some time. I like Old Spice’s sport deodorant as it lasts for a while. If I’m in a club and it’s more than an hour, I want to be sure that I still smell good if I start dancing with a woman and we’re sweating.

Keep Your Butt Clean – Cottonelle has great wet-wipes for after the bathroom freshness or you can get a bidet for really cheap that will help to clean your butt clean. You want to smell as good as possible, especially if you have a woman’s head down there.

Toothpaste and Mouthwash – Brush your teeth daily and I also recommend using mouthwash in addition to your toothpaste. Your teeth might be clean but you want to be sure your breath smells good. I use “Nature’s Gate” toothpaste and Jason’s mouthwash. I prefer all-natural products for my mouth.

Facial Wash and Moisturizer – I’m 34 now and have taken relatively good care of my face. For those of you who are younger and reading this, start taking care of your face now. Wash your face daily and get a good natural moisturizer as well. This will help your face look radiant and bright. You can find both of these at your local Trader Joes or Whole Foods.

Nails - Keep your finger nails short and clean. This doesn’t take much effort. Women will sometimes look at a man’s hands so keep them clean. If you like, you can get a manicure and pedicure at your local salon. If you’ve never had one before and think it makes you gay, throw that nonsense out. Trust me, it feels good to have a woman massage your hands and feet (they do that as part of the process), especially if she looks good. It’ll also show you what clean nails look like. When you’re regularly dating high-quality women, often they will look at your nails and hands so keep them clean.

3. Grooming

Get a cool haircut or style that looks good on you. If you’re not sure what would look good, Google “Men’s haircuts 2015” and find someone who has hair that you like. Take that picture to your salon or barber and have your hairstylist give you that cut. Be aware of how your stylist styles your hair in case he or she does a better job of it then you do. For hair gels and cream, I again prefer more natural healthy products. I use “Andalou Naturals” style crème for my hair as it does a good job and has good ingredients.

Regarding facial hair, I personally like to leave some scruff. I use the Norelco Beard Trimmer and it works great. It has 7 different settings on it so I can leave more or less hair depending on what I want. Make sure your beard is trimmed properly and that your beard line doesn’t go too high up on your face. You want your beard to accentuate your face and by having a proper beard line it opens up your face. Make sure to shave any neck hair or hair that might grow on your cheeks. For cheek hair, you can do electrolysis if you want to get rid of it permanently. You can visit your local barber and have him line up your beard and then do it on your own from then on.

If your eyebrows look like a caterpillar, get them trimmed. This will run you about $10 US and last you about a month or so. There are great nose and eyebrow trimmers for sale that will run you about $10 - $15 and last you for a long time.

Regarding nose hair, keep it trimmed. I read a study that the number one turn-off for women is nose hair so keep yours trimmed, the same goes for ear hair (nose hair trimmers are also ear hair trimmers).

If your chest or back look like a forest, trim them or get them waxed. If your pubic hair looks like a forest, trim it. It’ll make your dick look bigger plus women are more likely to blow you if that area is clean.

4. Fashion

Make fashion your friend. This is an area that can work wonders for you and do most of the heavy lifting in attracting a woman. If you’re clueless in this area, walk around the mall and look at the various mannequins in the store window and see whose style you like. You can also Google “Men’s Fashion 2015” and see what’s in style.

There are great places like H & M, Express, and even Kohl’s that has great stuff that isn’t too expensive. Make sure that your outfit matches and that it fits properly. You want your clothes to be fitted to your body.

I like to wear accessories to accentuate my look; beanies, watches, necklaces, bracelets, and glasses. All of that adds variety to your look which can make you appear more attractive. Also, some accessories are talking points for when you’re on a date with a woman. She might ask you the story behind your bracelet or necklace. Aldo & H & M have great beanies that are high-quality and inexpensive. Guess and Aldo have great accessories that are inexpensive. You can find accessories everywhere.

5. Exercise

Find some form of exercise and do it! This pumps endorphins in your system and you’ll feel better. Your testosterone will increase and you’ll feel stronger mentally and physically. You’ll also be cleaning your body of toxins while becoming more physically attractive. As you get into better shape, you’ll become more attractive to women, which will cause you to become more confident, which will make you more attractive to women. It starts a great cycle of positivity in your favor.

6. Diet

Just as you want to keep your outside clean, you want your inside clean as well. Make sure that your diet contains some live foods (fruits and vegetables) so that toxins are removed from your system and that your energy levels are high. At least a third of your diet should be live foods! The more life you put in your system, the more life you’ll get out. Also, as you’re eating healthier foods, your complexion will be better and your energy levels will be higher.

7. Study

Study the best and model their behavior. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. If you’re new, see what the best guys out there are saying and doing and see how you can implement that into your own life. Virtually every subject or question can be found on Youtube.

Some videos for you: "10 Ways to Start a Conversation with a Woman"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jlcRz19tfY)

"10 Ways to Know She Likes You"

"How to Overcome Approach Anxiety"

I will have a new video this week on How to Be Confident.

8. Work Emerson once said; “Do the thing and you shall have the power.” If you want to get good in this area, put in the work! This is an area you can get good at fast. Within three months of work, your whole life can be transformed.

I recommend finding a good friend who also wants to go out and go out with him. You two can push each other to improve and also act as a safety net for those times things don’t flow perfectly. I like to encourage people to schedule regular time for this area of their lives. Don’t wait for a woman to fall magically in your lap as you might be waiting forever. Instead, go out and make it happen.

When you’re out, WORK! I cannot emphasize this enough. Don’t spend time idly chatting with your friend. During bootcamps I would make my students approach a woman every two minutes. I would literally set a timer and time them in-between interactions. Those who were not still in a conversation at the end of two minutes would have to go approach another woman when the time was up. That means in one hour a student could potentially approach thirty women. My reason for mentioning this is that this area of your life does not have to take up a lot of time if you use your time wisely.

Net Time – Speaking of time, use “net time” where you approach women as you go about your daily life. What most guys do is they wait for the weekend to talk to women and ignore all of the women that they see during their everyday life. I don’t like that approach as you want to develop good habits such as being able to talk to a pretty woman when you see especially without having to rely on alcohol or someone introducing you two. Also, I feel that when guys see women and they repeatedly don’t talk to them, this hurts their self-esteem. Talk to the women you like, this will get your sword sharp quickly and will build your social muscle.

Consistency is King – Be consistent with your work. You don’t go to the gym one day and then not go for a month. You workout consistently to keep your body in tip-top shape. The same concept applies to pickup. Put in work on a consistent basis so that your social muscle will be strong.

9. Drill, Drill, Drill

Practice these skills at home and on your own. Remember when I said to study the best? Well, practice the lines and routines they give you so that you know what to do when that beautiful woman is in front of you. Lots of guys get a book on dating, read it, and think; “That was a good book.” Go beyond memorization and move into application. If you read a good line, say it to yourself, try it out on a woman you meet. If you have trouble talking about random subjects, practice improv whereby you choose a subject at random and talk about it for thirty seconds to a minute before moving onto another subject. If you ask too many questions, practice making more comments. Practice, practice, practice! There is a reason professional sports players practice so much. It’s so that when it’s game time, they’ll know what to do and hopefully be able to execute it the way they did in practice.

Brendon Buchard, number one New York Times bestselling author of “The Motivation Manifesto” says confidence comes from competence. As you practice these skills, your confidence with them will improve. Pick up and dating are social skills. Practice these skills until they become perfect. There’s three main parts to a conversation; the beginning, the middle, and the end. Practice your openers so that your initial approach will be good. Practice improv so that you can continue a conversation. And practice number closing; “You seem cool, we should hang out some time. Give me your number and I’ll give you a call.” Practice the whole interactions.

10. No One is Better Than You

Just because your friend has good game does not mean he is better then you, he is just better in this area. With some practice and work, you can become just as good if not better. I had two friends who were much better than me in this area early on and with hard work, I ended up surpassing them both. The effort was worth the result!

This same concept applies to your relationship with women too. Just because she is pretty or rich or famous does not mean she is better then you. She has her imperfections just like you do. She might’ve mastered the art of being beautiful but her career might suck. Or she might be rich and beautiful but have issues with relationships. Everyone has their flaws.

I find that lots of guys undervalue themselves and over-estimate the value of the women they meet. You have equal value. Realizing this is one of the keys to dating really beautiful women. If you guys were to see some of the women I’ve dated, you might wonder how I did it. This principle explains how. I don’t think anyone is better than me. I feel we’re on equal footing.

11. You Can Change

You are not some static individual. Your past does not have to equal your future. You can choose to change who you are in this moment. You can do things like hypnosis, visualization, affirmation, attend workshops & seminars, read great books, and listen to great audio programs for new uplifting ideas and motivation. For some free great resources, check out this thread I started.

12. You are Capable

You are capable. In fact, I would say that you are far more capable then they realize to have success in this area. I would say that most guys don’t realize just how much they are capable of doing and how much good they are capable of having. You are capable! I would tell students; “Whatever you think you’re capable of doing, turn it up at least sixty percent.” Most guys are going through this area with the brake on. Release the brakes. Let yourself soar.

If you can learn to drive a car, you can learn to become good in this area. Think about it, driving a car entails so much; making sure you’re in the right lanes, making sure you’re not too close to the person in front of you, making sure the people around you aren’t too close. If you can master driving a car, you can master interacting with others.

13. You’re are where you are and that’s okay

If you’re new to this and in your mid-twenties or early thirties, that’s okay. The important point is that you’re mastering this area of your life now. No one is judging you but you. Don’t criticize or berate yourself. Use that energy that energy to propel yourself.

14. You’re a Social Scientist

Take your ego out of the equation. You’re learning a new way of being. If something works, great, do more of it. If something doesn’t, that’s great too, you now have a better idea of what not to do. Taking this role allows you to fail and move forward without beating yourself up. Think of yourself as learning to walk in this area. When a baby learns to walk, it falls down and tries again until it learns to walk. Take that same approach to meeting women. Baby steps will get you there!

15. Start small and Build Up

When I first started lifting weights again, I didn’t put 500lbs on the bench press and try to do it. I started where I was and added more weight as I became stronger. This same concept applies to dating and pickup. Start where you are and build up. As you get stronger, you’ll do more. If all you can do starting out is to smile at a woman or make eye contact, start there and build from there. As your confidence builds, you’ll take greater risks.

I hope this helps you!

  • Tony

For more, feel free to check out my site www.authenticsociallife.com