A magic question: "Are you single?"

CharacterNote · 2019-08-09T19:03:29+00:00

Quite a few PUA's advise against ever asking this too a girl (but then, Every single piece of advice from a PUA coach is disputed by the next coach, such is the nature of the community) but I personally don't hate it, tbh.

Does quite a good job of establishing some premise without necessarily giving all of your power away.

it's a funny industry, though. I've seen 'experts' disagree vehemently about the strangest stuff

Fact is, we have so much evidence of everyone breaking each others 'rules' and all succeeding that there really aren't any rules when it comes to talking to girls at all

SimpleLeaff · 2019-08-09T20:13:48+00:00

I don't think this approach is a good one, its too blunt. You want a perfect balance between subtle/obvious and keep her guessing and wondering to some extent for the mystery. Asking if you are single could triple the awkwardness and she could easily say something like none of your business.

smoothmax · 2019-08-10T00:50:17+00:00

I don't go around asking that or approaching girls with guys who are possibly their BF, but some guys do.

Their view is, why waste time on a girl who considers herself "taken". So some PUAs will approach a group of girls and flat-out say, "OK which one of you is single?" Or pick a girl they like and say, "hey your friend is cute is she taken?" If you seem nice, the girls will help you pick up the single one.

Some guys approach a "couple" and ask right off the bat, "hey, how long have you been going out?" Frequently they will say we're not dating. It could be a brother or a friendzoned chode.

If you game a girl, and she seems interested in you but drops the "I have a boyfriend" bomb then there are a variety of responses (hashed to death here and elsewhere). From "OK nice meeting you" to asking questions about him (find out whether he's just casual or it's a long distance relationship), to ignoring it as a possibly irrelevant shit-test and changing the subject.

Funny response: "Hey this is the year 20## I got three boyfriends" and continue to game her.

primeveggietime · 2019-08-09T21:04:49+00:00

I have been asked to this before and I appreciated it. For me (F), I appreciate when a guy is bold but not pushy. Asking if she is single lets her clearly know that you are interested without being too forward or pushing yourself on her. You get to know if she is potentially available without saying something demeaning like "where is your boyfriend?" Which puts her on the spot and makes it seem like she should be guarded by a man.

If she replies with no and she is not single, you don't make a fool of yourself by potentially hitting on someone who has absolutely no interest in reciprocating.

EDIT: It's a good idea to check on body language and context before I asking this question, because if she is completely disinterested in you and you ask if she's single she's probably just going to feel really awkward and either Dodge the question or lie

eingebrannt · 2019-08-09T21:09:27+00:00

It does not matter what you say, but how you say it.

Title	A magic question: "Are you single?"
Author	DonaldShoupOfficial
Upvotes	7
Comments	6
Date	August 9, 2019 6:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/co6aek/a_magic_question_are_you_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-magic-question-are-you-single.1475698 https://theredarchive.com/post/1475698

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