AA - Alone Anxiety, How should I get over it??

hobodick · 2013-01-26T19:19:37+00:00

People have issues like this, it's common. The trick I believe is to learn how to make conversation. Read Dale Carnegies How to Win Friends and Influence People. Talk to everyone you meet, kids old people men women everyone. Except people who look like they're gonna stab you...don't get stabbed.

HelloHiHello · 2013-01-26T21:45:17+00:00

First off, realize no one gives a fuck about you, and any negative thoughts they have towards you are simply meant to rationalize away their own insecurities.

"I feel like a fucking loser right now.... oh... look at that guy... he's alone, he's an even bigger loser!"

The only people who will view you in a negative light are the people who are already in a negative state of mind. No one having fun and enjoying themselves is going to judge you.

And for those that do judge you, realize they aren't focusing on you... they're looking at you and creating a story about your life in their own head to rationalize why they're feeling insecure.

So they're not judging you at all anyways... just a fictitious fantasy they've made to avoid judging themselves, even though that's exactly what they're doing.

(they're using you as an alter ego to judge themselves)

So keep that in mind. The very act of someone judging you proves that that someone is not enjoying themselves.

And remember... they're not JUDGING YOU. They're using your immediate appearance to create a fantasy character which they are then judging, against themselves!

Does this make sense? You are actually socially invincible... no one else can have any affect on you.

Problem is, being out of your comfort zone in this way is causing you to inflict pain on yourself... this is where the anxiety comes from – not from other people judging you.

It's totally fine and natural. When you're out and about and start to feel anxiety, realize it's coming only from you and no one gives a damn about YOU. YOU, as a unique, individual human being, are essentially invisible.

Also, it's worth nothing that to live the playboy lifestyle (or whatever it is you want), one of the most important steps is to ENJOY being alone with yourself.

As you keep working at this, you'll soon be able to bring women into your life whenever you feel like it. And suddenly, you'll realize that you actually love your alone time more than anything else.

Don't tell yourself to get the fuck over anything. Just accept who you are and realize what you're going through is 100% natural, and that as long as you don't give up, you'll have your dream lifestyle easier and quicker than you thought.

Techniq_ · 2013-01-26T22:21:34+00:00

as Em0n3y said, Walking laps is a bad idea. That lowers your value. Drastically. I did waay too much of that before I was pointed into the light.

You want to be in set as much as possible. A wing gives you a great base to operate from. He's there to help you get the girl. That's the best option. If you're by yourself, then you have to make friends to set with.

Consider everyone around the bar someone you need to meet, You're must making your rounds for the night, and if you get blown out, or the set doesn't open or dies, you just roll off and over your shoulder into the next set. Doing it this way, keeps you in set, ALL THE TIME .

Btw, advanced PUA's don't move around. Once situated, they generally stay in one spot the whole night. They're the center of attention.

Em0n3y · 2013-01-26T20:46:15+00:00

I like to just get a few under my belt before I get "in state." I would roll with a competent wing, or even just a friend so you have a sort of "home base" to regroup at afterwards. You should keep pushing onto other sets being as sociable as possible, sometimes though its just an off night. Remember you're the guy who is approaching and doing the thing 75% of the other guys at the club are not.

Doing laps and hiding is NOT going to get you where you want to be, if anything this just lowers your value DRASTICALLY in a bar/club/wherever. Once you do get blown out, I'd recommend going up to the next girl you see, give her a cheers, or hit the bar and make small talk with a woman ordering a drink. It'll get you back into state, but if you dwell on it and start second guessing your surroundings you'll be done.

Kitad · 2013-01-26T23:54:56+00:00

Yeah, I am in the group of people who used to get really in their head when facing a stressful social scenario.

For me the solution was learning about state from RSD. Other source of inspiration (the one which inspired RSD) is Tony Robbins "Awaken the Giant Within".

But if you want to get out of your head, what I recommend is meditating. What it does basically is that it trains you to be in the present moment, it's 20 minutes which you spend trying to be present (aka, not thinking), which at first is really weird and difficult, but after a while you can learn how to summon that state of mind at will.

jimbojonesFA · 2013-01-27T00:43:20+00:00

Holy shit I just had a conversation with my brother and explained to him this exact feeling I get, came to seddit looking for advice and found this.

theyou · 2013-01-27T06:21:59+00:00

You teach people how to treat you by the vibe you give off. If you are self-conscious about being alone, they will pick up on this. If you are really comfortable with it, they won't think about it. Just focus on giving other people a good time.

2013-01-26T23:09:13+00:00

Learn to not give any fucks about rejection. Got rejected? Laugh at it and try again.

Haptic_Affinity · 2013-01-27T00:11:53+00:00

I have an issue which i suppose is also AA, but its completely unjustified. I feel weird and dont want to approach, but the times i make myself do it, i find it incredibly easy to make the woman like me, and even get her into the conversation. its just the making myself go thats the problem for me.

how can i deal with that?

Title	AA - Alone Anxiety, How should I get over it??
Author	Drifted_Elm
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	January 26, 2013 7:10 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/17bsan/aa_alone_anxiety_how_should_i_get_over_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/aa-alone-anxiety-how-should-i-get-over-it.1346403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346403

Comments