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[–]chumpta 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
practice.
thats pretty much it
[–]cheddarchexmix 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This isn't a beginner problem, it happens at all levels when you meet a girl that really does it for you. The trick is to become 100% divorced from the outcome of the enounter; you have to not think "i need to get this girl's number!" - you have to treat it like you're talking to a stranger you don't really care about. I use little tricks when I'm talking to super hotties like pretending she has a husband, or is into girls, or is my sister. It really helps, if you can get yourself to believe it.
[–][deleted] 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]cheddarchexmix 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, a LOT of practice. I still have problems when I realize very early in a conversation that I really like a girl. My way around it is to try not to even think whether or not I like people I'm talking to, or use the tricks I described earlier. It works most of the time.
[–]jagermeistr 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think most guys have this problem (myself included)- what's annoying about it is that on a conscious level, you know its stupid, but you still get nervous. One thing I've recently found helps me at bars (and I'll be the first to admit I haven't done this during the day which is my next step this weekend when I have some time off) is to just put it out there in a objective voice- "Hey, I think you're attractive," and go from there with whatever it is you do.
A bunch of people are going to disagree with this, but it helps take a lot of the pressure off me once I say it. I think its because saying it aloud to her face, makes you realize that's all it is- she's physically attractive to me, beyond that she's a complete stranger who isn't any more deserving of respect than any other random person I walk past on the street.
[–]linkj6 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel the exact same way
[–]theponyexpress 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You'll hear Mystery say "beauty is common" quite often and I think that's a good way to handle it. You need to understand that it truly is common and does not deserve any special attention. He will often do something similar to jagermeistr's idea of just putting it out there with the exception that he says he looks for 3 things in a girl and that they have 2 of them and won't tell them what the thing they lack is.
[–]glitch0 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is interesting. The truth is that I'm NOT surrounded by good looking women all day, even though I've dated a few in the past, and I think that's a big part of why it's so upsetting to someone like me.
I'm thinking that getting more and more exposure to them will make this a lot easier so I don't have to "lie" to myself about beauty being common.
[–]HipsterCasanova 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's all about your frame.
Try Ross Jeffries "Unstoppable Confidence". He'll hypnotize the shit out of you and allow yourself to feel great about it.
Oh NLP jokes.
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[–]chumpta 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cheddarchexmix 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cheddarchexmix 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jagermeistr 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]linkj6 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]theponyexpress 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]glitch0 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HipsterCasanova 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link