Able to approach with wingman, but having major problems sarging alone.

jbg89 · 2013-07-10T02:04:05+00:00

What I do is give myself a wing man placebo effect where I'll quickly befriend the nearest guy or group of guys so in my mind I don't feel like a loner in the bar/club and I'll have random dudes rooting for me during pickup.

puaCurveBall · 2013-07-09T20:37:31+00:00

It seems to me that you haven't made a decision to approach.

Maybe you don't really value women in your life, or don't think that having a bunch of women is worth the anxiety of approaching....

You need to look at the real costs of approaching (embarrassment? what else?) and the advantages (WOMEN!) and then make a decision to approach.

Then hold that decision with you into the bar, and no matter how you feel in the moment, you stand by your decision, and you force yourself to approach.

If you can't make a decision and stick to it, I don't think there is anything anyone else can give or tell you that will make a difference.

BallsOfSteeeeel · 2013-07-10T05:24:44+00:00

I've went out with wings. I've went out solo. I started from having to high five random strangers and saying "hi" to everyone to get in "state".

One important thing for me is that I remind myself why I am there. I like to have sex with girls. Having sex with girls is fun. So, I look at a girl and I see that she is pretty and I think of what it would be like to have sex with her as I'm walking over.

Also, don't you feel alive after the first approach? Good or bad, I start to remember how much fun it is.

dumcumster · 2013-07-10T05:29:24+00:00

approach anxiety has to do with the legitimate concern you're unable to handle what possibly happens next... to beat approach anxiety in the longrun you must feel like you can talk your way into and out of a lot of things. culture yourself, talk to strangers, eventually you'll be able to ramble for hours.

don't be affected by blowouts. if you feel an approach is going poorly just carry on your night [leave] with face saving body language [slow, not rushed, calm, etc] even if you've been talking to him/her for fifteen minutes etc. don't be afraid to encounter them again [side note: good game reframes the blowout as his/her fault.] keep in mind blowouts matter less when you're the only witness. once you stop caring you'll become a cooler person to meet. don't forget also that being solo puts you in control of your own destiny.... leave the venue, go-to a book store, get a yogurt, hot dog, i dgaf you're your own man

"sarging" alone means you need to develop your own sense of identity and become willing to assert it. you made your wing your crutch and you're not growing at the rate you want-- so what use were they? maybe you met some women got drunk etc but you're still asking for advice on a seduction forum. stop needing to follow others.

begin talking to everybody, ask for directions, recommendations; use or ask for humor, use or ask for unexpected compliments... try anecdotes, see which ones work. don't be afraid to say something controversial.... make people think. it really doesn't matter as long as you talk and feel that human feeling.

squattincassanova3 · 2013-07-10T17:08:46+00:00

Its pretty common thing. You don't have a buddy to fall back on and you look like a retard not approaching while solo.

Its simply a matter of doing it enough. Go out a month solo, 2-3 nights a week.

Title	Able to approach with wingman, but having major problems sarging alone.
Author	yalp051
Upvotes	6
Comments	9
Date	July 9, 2013 8:21 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hyhyu/able_to_approach_with_wingman_but_having_major/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/able-to-approach-with-wingman-but-having-major.1355153 https://theredarchive.com/post/1355153

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