Any tips on non-verbals? Specifically being more expressive?

Infinite88Library · 2025-12-06T05:04:23+00:00

I have internalized the habit of smiling. It may be incongruent or feel forced at first. Smile at people you encounter at work , at the store, pretty much everywhere you go.

9 times out of 10 people smile back - I think it’s a biological or evolutionary response mechanism. It will generally keep you in a better mood and radiating good energy is critical when becoming more charismatic and displaying Honest Signals ( The Self Is Always Shining Thru)

It can also become the first way to say Hi to a girl you are attracted to and make the first verbal interaction smoother as there is already some familiarity. Often girls will give signals (eye contact/proximity/smiling) and it is much easier to approach//connect to girls who are giving signs than trying to win over a girl or a group only because they are hot.

At later stages of courtship smiling too much could perhaps be counterproductive and this might not be the exact advice you are looking for. Nevertheless, I feel building this habit has returned huge dividends in all areas of my life.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-12-06T08:23:23+00:00

It's status dynamics.

If you go into a new environment around strangers, you don't know what you can get away with, you don't know where you fit in amongst the group so you remain cautious to not cause problems. That trepidation communicates that you're unsure of your value and you're unfamiliar to these types of situations.

In whatever respect, it's about putting yourself out there, being expressive and proving to your mind you're 'allowed' to do so. If you express yourself and get away with it unchallenged, you'll loosen up over time. There's no way you do something out of character and not look for reassurance, which is exactly what filters out the guys 'trying' and those 'succeeding'.

There's a lot of contextual, environmental situations that can cause you to engage in this process by 'accident', or more so that you feel reassured that you're 'supposed to'. If you're the manager, leader, some position of status, you feel you're expected to step up even though it may be uncomfortable. That being said, you can still be a policeman, security guard, CEO, senior art director, whatever, and still question yourself because the role itself doesn't do anything unless you commit to the process of establishing a 'safe' environment where you're allowed to express yourself freely without filtering, distraction, etc.

My first success was from a party one of my distant friends organized. I was familiar with 90% of people there from school, but there was this girl that one of the other girls brought. I'm familiar with 90%, she's familiar with 2%, it's a huge situational advantage that I can appear fun, outgoing, confident, because it's already pre-established what I can get away with and I know where I stand amongst those there.

I get it, it's happenstance, but you can cook the situational advantage yourself by briefly going around talking to people in the situation; if you're 'somewhat' familiar with everyone and the girl has stayed within her small group, you'll feel more certain you can get away with more she can and appear more confident/fun than her. Otherwise, you do have to rely on experience, references for similar situations, core confidence, and if you don't have that you're going nowhere. As much as you're 'just talking to the girl', your confidence is actually based on what you feel you can get away with in the wider situation; what 'status' you feel you have.

Infinite88Library · 2025-12-06T05:12:35+00:00

*Also approaching groups or more challenging sets can certainly be a good exercise and can build confidence/teach valuable lessons on socializing.

I’m coming from the angle of putting the odds in your favor. I have heard echoed from many of the greats they are approaching girls that are “choosing them” or looking for the 1 girl out of 20 that has super high interest. Something that should be pretty apparent sooner rather than later

ImpossibleWaiting · 2025-12-06T08:26:12+00:00

Sign up for acting classes

ferimo2 · 2025-12-10T06:41:11+00:00

PU skills basically sit on a spectrum between vibe and technique. If you’ve got high vibe, like your friend, you don’t really need good game. You can do stuff that shouldn’t work and somehow it still does because people just like being around you. High vibe guys barely need technique. On the other end, if you’ve got low vibe, you go full technician mode, like Todd Valentine. Everything is structured, everything is thought out, and that works too.

Both ends can succeed, but becoming a 10 out of 10 at either extreme is insanely hard. Going from level 9 to 10 in pure technique is way harder than going from vibe level 1 to 2. The issue isn’t that you “can’t” be high vibe like your friend. It’s that you don’t know how to access that state yet. Your baseline vibe is just lower, and instead of trying to fake it with more techniques, it makes way more sense to actually raise your vibe.

A lot of reserved guys stay reserved because they overfilter everything. They overcalculate, overthink, and basically talk themselves out of expressing anything real. Vibe dies when everything has to pass through a mental approval process.

So the first step to raising vibe is literally to open sloppy. No filter, no calculation, no analysis, no “perfect line.” Just walk in messy and say anything. The point isn’t to nail it, it’s to teach your brain that nothing bad happens when you stop overthinking. And you’ll notice the reactions aren’t that different from when you tried to be polished.

Second step is making the interaction fun for you. You can’t have high vibe while feeling tense and serious. Once you stop filtering, start doing stupid lines, dumb jokes, trolling a little, stuff that amuses you. Not to get the girl. Not to impress her. Just to self-amuse. That one shift alone raises vibe because you’re finally relaxed and actually enjoying yourself.

Women mirror energy. If you come in low energy and cautious, she drops low too. If you walk in having fun, you’re already above the baseline of most guys she meets. It bypasses that whole newbie question of “How do I get her interested?” because vibe creates interest way faster than technique does.

Once you start approaching with no filter and self-amusing, the stuff you’re stressing about now goes away on its own.

Title	Any tips on non-verbals? Specifically being more expressive?
Author	lockandlood
Upvotes	5
Comments	12
Date	December 6, 2025 4:31 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1pfgc28/any_tips_on_nonverbals_specifically_being_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/any-tips-on-non-verbals-specifically-being-more.1568153 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568153

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