approaching groups is scary !

Hayden_Beroc · 2021-10-28T00:20:00+00:00

well if approaching big groups is scary for you then don't do it because there are lots of variable to consider in these situation. I would suggest you to approach one girl and then two girl then gradually increase when you feel confident enough. But more important than that just allow yourself to fail because as absurd it may sound, inside your head you have to force yourself to be ok with that. Seduction is learnt by mistake made then using those failure as fuel to boost you to learn it.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-10-28T02:31:38+00:00

Much of the problem in this kind of situation, lies in our brains. It's easy for negative self-talk to get carried away. We all have to deal with those voices in our heads putting us down and making mountains out of molehills.

1

I had a get together/event at my campus and while i did know guys, i didn't know many girls (which made me feel ashamed that i have not been able to do anything about it)

This is stereotypical negative self-talk and sometimes you need to tell the voices in your head to fuck off.

No one knows anyone at first. So it's nothing to be ashamed of to not know girls at first. Especially since it's even harder if we are dealing with voices in our heads putting us down for being shy or feeling anxious. Both of which are natural human things.

You have to put your foot down when this thing starts up in your head. Because it can become a cycle, making it impossible to change anything if you're spending your time making yourself feel shitty about not knowing girls yet.

2

and here's the worst thing, some of the guys and recently made friends with, those guys who gave themselves off as 'shy', were talking to girls ( they had formed groups ) and one guy i knew took a girl to a secluded spot to talk to her - i saw that and i felt terrible , because i wasn't able to do any of that and i felt like a loser who has wasted his life

Listen to yourself, man. Listen to how ridiculous this narrative is that the negative voices are repeating: "You have 'wasted' your life."

You are, what, 20? 21 or 22 at the most? And your negative self-talk is telling you that you've wasted your life. What the fuck does that even mean? Is the human life span only to 25? Are you an old man on your deathbed?

At some point, you have to debate and argue with yourself to start pointing out how ridiculous your negative self-talk is being.

3

now here's the problem - i am a senior ( think undergrad and grad difference ) and i am not sure how to introduce myself to them .. i mean , there is no context , i need context - a reason to approach to introduce myself

Dude. Context? You go to school with these people!! That's fucking context!

You have to remind yourself of things like this! Look at what's happened! You're allowing the negative voices in your head to convince you of ridiculous things!

You're going to school with these people but the negative voices have tricked you into believing you have nothing in common and nothing to talk about.

You don't need "context." You need to start fighting battles against these false narratives that your negative self-talk is throwing at you. Win your own mind back.

CrystalExarch1979 · 2021-10-28T00:40:45+00:00

I feel you bro! I also have anxiety when approaching a group of women at a bar/club/party, etc., feels like I will be subjected to a firing squad.

CodeEmotional9593 · 2021-10-28T00:51:45+00:00

It's good for practice just so you have that experience under your belt. It's not really worth the effort in the end, too many eyes/gossip/cockblockers/effort.

lana_del_reymysterio · 2021-10-28T01:08:24+00:00

Why not start off with just asking groups something harmless to build your confidence actually approaching groups?

e.g. Do you have the time? Which way to x class/building/room?

2021-10-28T01:12:34+00:00

Approaching in general is scary to me and I'm sure a lot of other people here as well

Title	approaching groups is scary !
Author	loofyd
Upvotes	37
Comments	6
Date	October 27, 2021 9:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qh7mbn/approaching_groups_is_scary/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/approaching-groups-is-scary.1273439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1273439

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