Yes, That is a rhetorical question. I’ve been a PUA for about 3-4 years now, but I’ve been browsing through this subreddit only for a little over a month now. I’ve answered innumerous questions, some real beginners, some more advanced but in most of them I found something that surprised me greatly. The idea that we must do this to do that to get there. PUAs in this subreddit are worrying too much about what they are saying, they are trying to predict the reaction the women will have so they can come up with something clever to say. Basically, they are expecting that one line will change their whole game. In this post I will address some topics that can be either misconceptions or just general advice that go for beginners and the last ones are more for advanced PUAs.

Let’s take a step back, in PUA terms, a simplified interaction is as follows: Open -> Hook -> Rapport -> Kino -> Close. Theorically, that is how every interaction should go: You start talking, find a common topic, create a connection, start sexual escalation, and then you kiss/get the number/fuck the girl.

*APPROACH ANXIETY (AA)

I’ve seen enough posts asking: “How to overcome AA”. We have all been there, it is normal. What helped me might not help you, but this is what I did when I first started becoming a PUA: a) The 3 second rule, you see a girl and just go, don’t think, every time I found myself thinking about it I would overdo it; b)Regret is always worse than rejection, I can’t count how many times I’ve walked home wishing I had opened that set, imagining in my head how well it could’ve went, always approach, because if it is shitty you can learn something, if not then you are doing something right

*OPENERS

I was surprised by how many questions I’ve read that were: “What is the best opener¿” “What do you think of this opener¿” Your opener does not matter. If you ask a girl, at the end of interaction what you talked about for the first 5 minutes, she probably could not precisely tell you. Openers serve one purpose to OPEN(hence the name opener) the interaction/conversation.

Some experiences to prove this: This summer, I was in Portugal and I was trying everything I could think of, from the best to worse, to challenge myself. So I went with this great opener that I had memorized which was something: “Which one do you think is better: chocolate or flowers¿” the set initially enjoyed the conversation, because yes, it is a great opener, but soon I wasn’t able to find a hook so the interaction died out and I lost the set. On the following night, I was feeling particularly douchy so I saw this girl lighting up a cigarette and I took the cigarette off her mouth in a swift move and took a puff. Her face was of extreme confusion, and the first thing I told her was: “This is a really nice cigarette, what brand is it¿” She was so confused that she took a while to process the information and finally she said: “Mal—Marlboro gold” from that one we started a conversation about cigarettes, then I asked her about smoking in university(hook), then we started talking about the university. By the end of the interaction I’d gotten a k-close and up until 3rd base. So you see, it doesn’t really matter what opener you use.

*KINO

I’ve seen two mistakes relating to kino: The first one is beginning to touch her. Some people suggest touching her elbow and then escalating, but me no, I only believe in the escalation between the shoulder/leg and the face. After that you are just exploring her body. So, after you touched her shoulder/leg, touch her face. And bang DONE. The face is the hardest one, so if you did one of the hardest now you will find touching her elbow, hand, arm, and body as a whole much easier.

The second one is the way some PUAs divide the escalation. Some people just create SOOOOO MUCH STUFF. To give an example, I was with a friend and he was telling me: “First, I’ve to touch her elbow, so I can touch her hand, so I can touch her neck, so I can touch her face, so I can touch her legs” And I am like: “WOW” that is a pretty precise. Too precise perhaps. To me, as I suggested before, it is primarily about the legs and the face. Why those two¿ Simple, the face is the gateway to the lips, and the legs are the gateway…well, to the other lips. The rest(elbow, hand, neck, etc) is all there for exploring, and they are really fun to play with.

*CLOSE

There are 3 different types of close: #-close, K-close, f-close. I am from Brazil, so we don’t have the first one, we just don’t do it here. However, I’ve lived in other places, have had the experience and have talked to enough PUAs worldwide to form some conclusions: #-close does not mean she is interested in you, you should contact her as soon as possible and tell her you two are doing something. Pay attention, I said TELL her, not ASK her. There is a difference between “Hey, do you want to go to the bar later¿” and “We are going to this bar, I’ll pick up at 7”. Girls like guys who are assertive.

Something that I use a lot is: “What are you going to this weekend¿” and the hb usually says: “oh, I don’t know” to which I respond: “Well, now you do, you are going with me to this bar” and they are like: “Okay!” I also joke with something like: “But you have to wear a skirt”(I love skirt, that is something I personally like)

*MAPPING OUT EVERY SINGLE DETAIL

The game is a “precise description of a fuzzy mechanism”(Looper). These are emotions, feelings, sentiments, actions, reactions, they are not exactly, you know…logical. Now, the game and psychology do a magnificent job mapping them out and explaining in words that we, as men, objective creatures, can understand, but it can not determine every move and every reaction. I am certain most of you have been in a situation where someone told you to use that opener to get this response, and when you used the opener it ended up not getting the response you wanted.

I’ve seen enough people trying to map every single thing they will say “I will say this opener, then this line, then I will get this hook after she says this, etc, etc”. I thought that worked too, but then I had this crazy idea, try the same opener 15 times in one night to see how many different answer you would get. Every interaction went different, and I had to adapt because what worked on the previous set didn’t work on this one. You can’t expect everything to go according to plan, and that is a great thing, it allows us learn on how to become adaptable.

*WHERE IS THE FUN¿

Relating to the previous problem, people seem to get so caught up in the process, in memorizing routines and openers, they often lose the liberty and freedom to explore the beauty of the interaction. Women, after a while, begin to sense they are part of a “scheme” or “game” and they don’t like it, not one bit. They feel you are not being yourself and that is EASILY “smelled” by them. So, all the perfect interaction images, those routines you are trying to memorize, forget about them. We are humans, we are flawed by nature. You have lived enough to tell stories about yourself. Stop seeing the game as a win-or-lose and start seeing it as have-fun game.

EDIT: Formatting stuff.