Brothers, I learned a painful lesson last night.

I had a good date. We drank beer for an hour, I walked her home, and we made out.

That's a win, right? Maybe not. When I texted her today to set up a second meet, she told me she wasn't interested. I spent a solid hour feeling shitty and trying to understand it.

Well, gentlemen, I figured out the fucking problem: I'm not sure what I want out of dating right now. I'm torn between wanting sex and wanting a relationship. It was causing me to do something that women can't stand: send mixed signals.

The girl came for sex. All the signs were there: she picked a spot a block from her house for good logistics. My OKCupid profile made it clear that I'm looking to hookup. And I misread all the signs because of a weak and confused intent.

RIGHT NOW: get clear on what you want.

Do you want a girlfriend?

Do you want casual sex? With a regular partner? With a new partner every time?

Maybe you're just chasing a feeling. Maybe a feeling of "women like me!" Or, "I can get sex when I want."

Figure that shit out right now. With a clear intent, you know what to look for, and you'll naturally behave in a way that moves you towards it.