Being called a player

puaCurveBall · 2011-10-26T19:58:01+00:00

So stop playing them? Why are you pursuing girls you aren't interested in for more than sex?

InspirationalQuoter · 2011-10-26T21:22:57+00:00

Yeah man I get this, you want the challenge! I'm barking on the door of some religious girl I've just met, nothing special about her just want the challenge.

A couple things to note though, if they are calling you a player, that is good it means they see value in you and know that you get chased, have other options etc. Usually this leads to them qualifying. In your case however it isn't, may I ask how old these women are?

I would suggest tailor your game to the different type of girl. If you do want them, just pump the breaks a little and move a little slower. And if you aren't willing to consider that strategy then leave them and move on to the next one. Who knows, they may come back.

bink1time · 2011-10-26T21:38:23+00:00

This is the most standard shit test ever bro...

Yeah I'm a player I went on 9000 dates today congrats you are the 9001 over 9000 High five

dont be a noob

2011-10-27T11:31:49+00:00

I got called a player last night ... I just said : Yeah , so what ? Who wants a loser ? Do you want a loser that will call you 10 times a day and bring you flowers everyday ?

Went better then expected. :)

choc_is_back · 2011-10-26T23:16:03+00:00

I think if their seeing you as a player makes them leave you it's because you are 'gaming' too obviously, too soon. You can get them very comfortable you say, so keep them in that comfortable state for a couple of minutes longer before going all out on the escalating :-)

frogma · 2011-10-27T14:00:49+00:00

Usually all I do is blow it off and keep going. It sounds like you might be moving too fast for your own good (ie: physically/verbally escalating too much right after they say it to you, when what you should probably be doing is building up some comfort at that point and reassuring em that you're not the "typical" player).

I don't take girls on dates, so for me, I usually operate in either a 1-3 hour timespan, or a 6-7 hour timespan, depending on the circumstances. In the 1-3 hour timespan (like when I'm partying), I can literally just blow off the accusation like it means nothing, but meanwhile still escalate and shit. In the 6-7 hour timespan, I generally pull back a bit and let her get the sense that I'm not the type of player she's referring to- I'm a better type.

Meanwhile though, realize that being a "player" is almost always a good reputation to have- by defition, it builds attraction and gives you preselection. All girls are technically attracted to it, no matter how much they say they "hate" players. It's like if I said I hate Playboy Bunnies or something- god knows I'd still fuck the shit out of em if I had the chance, and I'd still be jealous as hell of Hugh Hefner. Even though the Bunnies themselves have sort of a questionable reputation.

That's why in most cases you want to treat what she said as more of a joke, but still own up to the reality of the situation. If she's really reacting negatively, even then I'd still say keep it up, but start showing her how you're more than just a player.

duuhh_yup_yup · 2011-10-28T05:14:31+00:00

If it doesn't get to you, it won't get to them. Don't get caught trying to justify yourself like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. I find that this accusation can be brushed off by giving off a vibe of "yeah, if I was, you really about to pass this up?"

Of course you would never say this. You say any number of things to turn the conversation to where you want it - but your body language should emulate that you don't care about her shit-test, and you are confident that she doesn't really care about you being a "player", and think it might just turn her on. Sometimes acting like you are mildly amused at her attempt to throw you off works too.

If it seems to persist a little bit, IE you get the vibe that she really likes you but has concerns about how much you sleep around, maybe you should ask yourself how serious you are about this girl. You want to hit it and quit it? Can you live with the consequences? Will you have to trick her into thinking you want a relationship? A man makes decisions about how he feels and doesn't just blindly chase pussy, and is honest about his intentions (although you don't need to shove them down her throat until the time is right knowwhatimsayinnnnnn).

vhee · 2011-10-26T22:36:00+00:00

It seems from your question and from reading your response to comments that you're being "outcome dependent", so to say, and going into these dates with the mindset that you're looking to get sex.

It's one thing to project a sexual vibe, but if you do it with the intent of actually trying to get the lay, then ultimately I think you're actually being counter productive and hurting your game rather than furthering it by starting to project the needy "looking for something from you" vibe.

Have you thought of the fact that maybe the shy girls are actually just projecting their own insecurities onto you and challenging you by calling you a "player" to see how you respond? You say you've been more interested in conservative girls; your mindset should be that they're just testing you to see how comfortable you are in being the outgoing persona you project to them, and that you should focus on being that sociable person to everybody while escalating attraction with the girl.

That's why you see a lot of veterans giving advice like, "Talk to everyone you meet."

You shouldn't ever feel like you're ever "playing" someone. If that's what your definition of "game" is, you're not even playing it; your goal is to make the other girl feel as comfortable with you as possible so that they open up to you, not to play the girl into sleeping with you. Build attraction and comfort first and the lay will automatically come.

Title	Being called a player
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	October 26, 2011 7:21 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lq15v/being_called_a_player/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-called-a-player.1324260 https://theredarchive.com/post/1324260

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