Being charming

Jon1renicus · 2013-10-22T02:37:15+00:00

I've been called charming by a decent number of folks, and the only thing I could attribute it to when I am really thinking about it is this. I am very genuine, I don't fake much if any of my enthusiasm or emotions when conversing with people (male, female, customer, potential girl, random stranger, etc).

I am typically upbeat, engaged, eye contact, and actually converse with people. I would think that has to do with it.

I think charming is less it's own entity and more of a broad adjective fitting several descriptors.

sedditdee · 2013-10-22T05:03:41+00:00

Most people have no idea what charisma (or "charm") means.

Confidence, on the other hand, is a self-help buzzword because you can sit at home reading "motivational" literature, watching Youtube videos, "pumping your state" and feeling "confident" without engaging anyone else or doing much of anything at all.

Charisma is inherently interpersonal. There has to be someone else in the room who can be "charmed" by you.

That said, there have been plenty of "charismatic" people who had abysmal self-confidence -- like the prototypical "bad boy" type who women are attracted to in part because they want to rehabilitate his broken self-image.

Charisma depends on radiating attention outside of yourself, on the people around you and making them feel important. Part of that as a "tactic" is to be able to turn the sunshine off whenever you want. In PUA terms, this is the "vacuum" after you've offered your DHV ("demonstration of higher value"); the woman starts to find you attractive, and then you can start to expect her to contribute to the conversation.

This is Charisma 101.

Most guys don't realize it because they have no idea what they're doing, or how to consider the situation from the other person's perspective.

A key question to ask yourself is "what type of emotional reaction am I receiving from the woman in front of me?" If she's showing signs of "needing" your approval or always coming back to you with a smile on her face, you're charming her. What you do next (seduction, friendship, etc.) is up to you.

puaCurveBall · 2013-10-21T21:36:56+00:00

Charming is an adjective people give to attractive, confident guys.

What do you define as being charming, and how would one be charming without being attractive and confident?

There is a ton of material on the necessary parts of seduction, and I've never seen "charming" as factoring into it.

donit · 2013-10-22T00:01:58+00:00

Flattery has a downside of putting a girl on a pedestal, which puts her in a position of looking down upon you. So it must be done without comparing the girl to the general population or giving her a rank among girls. One way around that is to add the word "enough", which switches the compliment to a qualification.

HappyJerk · 2013-10-21T22:54:30+00:00

"Charming" is a meaningless word

Title	Being charming
Author	E-money7
Upvotes	11
Comments	10
Date	October 21, 2013 8:46 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oxeuk/being_charming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-charming.1360259 https://theredarchive.com/post/1360259

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