Bragging?

bl1y · 2013-11-07T13:03:29+00:00

First, avoid being the one to bring it up. If others ask what you do (and they will, don't worry), then you can talk about it. But you will sound braggy if you bring up your job, or ask about her job knowing that she'll respond by asking you the same.

Second, as excited as you are about the job, realize that nothing is 100% good or 100% bad. It's a great job, and congratulations on getting it, but are you at all nervous about it? Do you at times feel like you're in over your head?

If you try to present a one-sided image of yourself, Great Job Guy, then you're going to come across as not only bragging, but as though you're putting up a front and not being real with people. On the other hand, saying something like "I love the job, but I'm still really nervous every day I go into the office" prevents you from sounding like a braggart, and is just far more interesting. Now we've got a real person in the conversation.

sedditdee · 2013-11-07T13:34:03+00:00

jonicy wrote: I landed a job a couple of months ago as a stockbroker, and this is something I'm really proud of considering this is my dream job.

No one has any reason to care about your job but you. Prattling on about it is bragging.

Bragging will attract women who want a guy who needs to brag about his job -- the gold-diggers and social climbers, mainly.

Most people want more money than they have earned (greed) and most people want to associate with people who make them look like "winners" in the eyes of society (social climbing). Women are especially inclined toward that kind of behavior because they've been socially trained to do so since they were little girls -- creating strategic friendships, cultivating alliances, psychologically bullying other girls, and shaming and ostracizing each other. Boys use their fists, girls use their social skills.

If you play into that game, she will play that game with you.

Another question to ask is: does this topic directly affect our relationship in any way? If so, how will she most likely perceive and interpret my words?

Pay especially close attention to topics that indicate social class, wealth, and your (arbitrary and imaginary) "value" in the eyes of others. The more you focus directly on those types of topics in your conversations with new women, the more likely you are to provoke her reflexive attempts at testing you and using you as an object rather than a human being.

This is similar to a woman wearing sexy clothes and complaining about getting sexual attention from men.

If you want to be objectified, brag. Otherwise, don't. Jobs, careers, riches and social status generally are inherently insecure things. That's part of the reason why nouveau riche snobs are so easy to spot, and amusing to parody. Easy come, easy go.

Find other, more stable attributes about yourself to develop over your lifespan and mention those aspects of yourself with women. That requires you to have a deeper sense of values than the prestige and money you've made at your job. Once you've done the hard work of figuring out your values and living by them, you won't be bragging anymore -- you'll be authentically talking about what matters most to you (while still keeping in mind how others will perceive and interpret your words). Likewise, you will attract and more easily keep a different type of person in your life because of the person you've become (and are continually becoming).

HappyJerk · 2013-11-07T15:02:10+00:00

Nothing turns girls off worse than bragging about your job/money. That's great that you got your dream job, but the reality is that lots of people have good jobs like stockbroker/lawyer/etc... so you bragging about it is extremely douchey. Not to mention that every guy with a good job brags about their money/job/yacht so girls are fucking tired of it. Also, whether or not they are actually golddiggers girls don't want to admit to themselves they are interested in men with good jobs/money, etc... Also, if you're going for girls your age (21ish) they probably are too young to even care.

What girls DO appreciate is a guy that is passionate about what he does. So if you get to talking about it, talk about how much you love it. Also, talk about the shitty parts of it, how hard it is, etc... Also, girls are attracted when there is a part of your life that they don't have access to, so:

1) Don't bring it up 2) When she brings it up resist the urge to brag or prattle on about it 3) keep some of your work life in the dark to her

joshsway · 2013-11-07T15:12:00+00:00

I discuss this in my free crash course e-book: http://www.joshsway.com/ebooks/josh-sways-crash-course-to-women-and-attraction

Pages 10-12

Here is an example from it:

"Demonstrating value is all about bragging without bragging. For example, you want to demonstrate that you are wealthy and have a successful career. You could blurt out how much money you make to your date, but that would probably go pretty poorly. A better approach might be to talk about how the food at dinner reminds you of the restaurant you went for a promotion dinner; leading her to ask questions about your career (“What was the promotion dinner for?”), taking the conversation into a domain where you will have ample opportunity to demonstrate value in the natural flow of conversation."

Title	Bragging?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	11
Date	November 7, 2013 12:10 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1q3h3m/bragging/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/bragging.1361187 https://theredarchive.com/post/1361187

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