Can't get over my first love

mcr00sterdota · 2017-03-01T02:58:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Kitt_55 · 2017-03-01T13:21:16+00:00

Most young males operating in a scarcity mindset catch the disease Oneitis at some point in their young adult lives. If not promptly caught and cured, Oneitis can take years away from one’s life. You can pour all your time and energy into a lost cause instead of using it to improve yourself. Having suffered myself from a very dire case of the disease, I am accustomed to the symptoms. The symptoms of Oneitis can include:

Spending an abnormal amount of time thinking and obsessing over one girl.
Believing that one girl is completely different from every other girl that you have ever met.
Believing that one girl is the most beautiful girl in the world.
Believing that there is no other girl for you but her.
Believing that no one else could ever match the love that you have for a girl.
Believing that a girl is absolutely perfect and could do no wrong in your eyes.
Putting a girl before everything else in your life.

An additional symptom would include not seeing anything wrong with holding the above beliefs. You may believe that if a girl only truly knew how much you cared about her, that she would love you in return. However, this is not the way attraction or love actually works. When you truly love a person, you do not need anything from them in return. Arriving at this realization took me years and was the most painful lesson that I have ever had to learn. There is no such thing as “the one,” but only people who are more or less compatible together. Love is something you build, not something you find.

While I have no doubt that the feelings which you have are genuine, these feelings originate from a place of scarcity and fear. You may mistake the burning desire you have for a woman as the being the truest form of love. Fear resulting from scarcity infiltrates the heart and amplifies certain emotions to an unhealthy level. If this is the first time that you have ever felt this way, then you may be terrified of losing the woman for whom you feel these feelings. You may fear that you may never again feel this same way about anyone else. The truth is that you may be right. However, this is not due to you having lost out on the love of your life, but to the fact that you no longer live in scarcity. Once the scarcity mindset is removed, you can find someone with whom you can have a relationship with that is built on positive emotions, instead of the hidden underlying emotions of loneliness and fear.

Now looking back, having my heart broken was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. Had a need based relationship instead ensued, I would have never become the person I am today. I would have unknowingly submitted to comfort and security rather than venturing out into the world to learn its truths for myself. I would have remained a weak man and never developed the deep self-love, self-confidence and self-reliance which are prerequisites to unselfishly loving another person.

Excerpt from the book: Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight

ab503 · 2017-03-01T13:46:32+00:00

Block on everything until you're 100% over her. Don't worry about seeing women casually and even dating if you're still thinking about someone else. It's not dishonest. I dated a girl for a few months while still being into someone else and it was mostly a healthy relationship. It only ended when I got over the previous girl (took off the rose colored glasses) and realized the person I was with wasn't really doing it for me either. It's ok to date and stuff while you're still a bit mixed up. You learn and grow from those experiences.

clevelandtyler2 · 2017-03-01T03:04:58+00:00

I know that feeling dude. Just cut all contact and chance of interacting with her

RPDrogan · 2017-03-01T08:19:23+00:00

I don't do relationships. I haven't for many years. I do hookups, friends with benefits, 1 night stands, and every variation of commitment free sex you can think of. The environment I am in facilitates such opportunities so it is essentially nirvana.

Except I fucked up just like you. I caught feelings for 1 of my friends with benefits. And I've tried to get over her. I've slept with many women since it ended. I've been with women that are far more attractive than her. Women with bigger boobs and fatter asses. Women with tighter pussies and better moans.

Yet none of them are her. None of them made me feel the way she did. Maybe it's because she's the first girl that "dumped" me, before I got bored of her, since I was 15. Maybe it's because she was amazing in bed. I don't know.

All I know and therefore all I can give you in terms of advice is this: The only way to get over her is to replace her. There are almost 4 billion women on this planet. A lot of them will have nothing of interest to offer you except Sex. But there are some women like the 1 you love. And you just have to find the next 1. Because you will never get her back. And the more you try, the less attracted to you she becomes.

Title	Can't get over my first love
Author	Lycantree
Upvotes	6
Comments	7
Date	March 1, 2017 1:55 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5ws9on/cant_get_over_my_first_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-get-over-my-first-love.1421009 https://theredarchive.com/post/1421009

Comments