I have had a considerable amount of luck using internet dating sites to both foster a strong improvement in my seduction skills and maintain an active profile of girls that want to hang out. I decided that some other sedditors might appreciate a short guide, followed by examples from recent experiences.

Stage 1: Initial Contact

The name of the game here is to foster intrigue from the girl that you are interested in. This is not so difficult as it might sound so long as you bear in mind that your end game goal is a real life meeting, where actual seduction can occur. You need to catch her attention just enough that she wants (aka is willing) to meet you in real life.

I am of the belief that seduction cannot be effectively built solely utilizing online communications, because it eliminates the crucial ability to empathize with the woman with whom your are communicating. For this reason, it is best to keep your initial address and communications short.

The initial message should be something that catches her interest by differentiating you from the 15 other messages that are sure to be in her inbox. I have found particular success using messages such as these when creating first contact:

  • "I've never had a knack for understanding [thing she mentions in her profile], whats that all about?"
  • "So I am going to be attending [the school she says she attends], any tips about getting around? I hear parking is horrible."
  • "I've (never) been to [city/country she references], whats good there?"

Notice that all three examples demonstrate an extreme constraint on length. This constraint enables you to play off your initial communication as being non-nonchalant, thereby diminishing your principle obstacle: her concern that you are needy, because you are dating online.

Example from the Field I chatted up M from meetup, noticing that she was from the same city that I was from. M had recently moved to the city, and was therefore already keen to meet anyone, and it was readily able to be inferred that the major danger would be overextending myself.

She had linked her meetup to her Facebook profile, and therefore FB chat was the appropriate medium for engaging her initially. I began with this: "Hey, I know this is a bit out of left field but I saw you on the meetup group. Turns out we are from the same city" Note the lack of punctuation at the end, intentionally indicating above mentioned non-chalant attitude which is indispensable to actually getting the girl to meet you IRL.

Stage 2: Setting Up a Time to Meet

This is a particularly sensitive and highly context dependent statement that should follow after a short exchange of messages between her and you pertaining to the original topic of your email and one or two additional, related topics. For example, in my most recent encounter with M from Meetup we had a total of 5 messages, each pertaining to something about the town that we were both from.

You must at this juncture recognize the compelling need to provide the woman with an opportunity to meet you IRL. Because you have been keeping your messages short this whole time, you have fostered within her the sense that you are not a needy person, and this decreases her risk associated with the IRL meeting.

Always try and visualize how the message is being recieved from her perspective. This mantra should predominate you thinking about what to say, and when to say it. You want to come across as cool and collected, and that means recognizing the obvious paradox of the internet dating world: although we focus on online image, all that matters is her perception of how you are offline. Eg:

  • Lets grab coffee monday or wedensday
  • You dig live music? Im thinking of checking out SexMagicccccc on next Thursday if you are interested
  • Grab a drink at Bar Seduction tonight?

Each statement must express two things: a specific place and specific time that you will be meeting. The tone must presume that she will say yes. All you can do here is make that easy as possible by detailing, succinctly, the time and place that you would like to meet.

Example from the Field After me and M exchanged some messages, I ask her if she digs live music and tell her about this cool concert I've been looking to checkout. I give her the time and date and then sit and wait.

Stage 3: IRL Attraction with a Girl You Met on the Internet

Now, you are in prime position for utilizing the seduction skills that you already have in converting the online connection to offline chemistry. Here are some modifications I suggest to your standard game:

  • Remember that she will initially be somewhat mistrusting of you, and that you must therefore prove to her that you are who you said you were and further that she should have no need to fear. This means that you need to hold your horses on the kino for a bit until you've talked enough. I usually say to pay attention to her cues to figure out when this is ok: e.g., laughing at not funny things, or doing that cute thing girls do with their hair.

  • Leverage your existing connection with her (established at stage 1) into a much broader array of discussion. E.g.: Me and M, being from the same city, exhaust that discussion before moving on to a more abstract discussion about the character of cities in general.

The idea here is to make the conversation as fecund as possible: take every tangent, pluck every ounce of intimation from what you are talking about to extend the conversation into an area that is related enough, but also new enough to generate additional conversation

  • Sit at the bar: Bartenders are paid to make conversation with people while they drink. Use this to your advantage.

  • Kino with bravado: A woman wants fore mostly to feel desired. Don't half ass any of the flirtatious gestures you have towards her, and try and become enveloped in the situation.

Example from the Field Me and M meet and go to a bar across the street from the concert. We sit at the bar, and make friendly conversation between the bartender and us about the acidity of their beers. I notice she is wearing a rather large necklace that is making her feel uncomfortable. After asking, I pick up the necklace from her neck and we both joke about knocking someone out with it. We decide to move to a different bar where it will be cheaper. Again, I sit next to her at the bar. I move away to go to the bathroom and give her time to think. When I come back, I put my arm around her while directing her attention elsewhere. She is clearly interested. We move to the concert venue and sit next to each other. I lean in close to talk, grazing my nose against her face. We kiss, move it to the bathroom and all is well in the world.

I hope this helps. Ill be on all night to answer questions from the community and respond to critiques. Best of luck and cheers.