Allen_Christian this one's for you.

Cold approaching is basically a skill, and like every other skill, you have to learn and practice. Learning and practicing cold approach is a healthy balance. You don't want to learn too much and not practice because then you'll be overwhelmed when you do decide to try out what you learned and it'll backfire on you. You also don't want to just keep cold approaching and trying the same thing without reviewing the experience and calculating what you did right and what you did wrong.

I know it sounds very technical, but the goal is to make these things become so natural that you don't even consciously think about seduction and you instinctively just do it. The thing about seduction and cold approaching is that you can have some good days, and then some bad ones. You can go out tonight and end up having a one night stand with a really hot girl, and then one year from now you can get harshly rejected by a girl who was honestly pretty ugly.

For example, last year when I started my journey, I decided to go to see a reggae band by myself. There was a post here on Reddit that I had just read from this guy who posted a ton of tips for being social and approaching strangers. It was titled "How To Be A Social Butterfly" and it was honestly gold IMO. It had examples and an overview and it was just great. It fired me up so much. I got to the concert and I was very early. I looked around and saw a couple at the bar. I approached them and just had some small talk. They were pretty chill. They ended up having a conversation among themselves so I looked around again. I saw a guy sitting by himself at the other side of the bar. He was some dude in his 30's. Didn't even look like he was into reggae. I sat next to him and ordered a drink. I opened him and basically just asked him if he was from around town and just general questions. I think at first he thought I was hitting on him so he was kinda closed off, but after a while he realized I was just being friendly and started being really cool. His cousin showed up and they started ordering food and sharing it with me and offering me drinks. It was great! I went outside to the patio to bum a smoke and I saw a pretty cute girl sitting down smoking and a group of guys next to her kicking a hackie sack. I approached her and asked for a smoke. There was a seat next to her so I started talking to her and then her guy friend (she said they were just friends but he was obviously into her. He bought them both VIP tickets for the show). I got to know both of them and then went back inside. First band started playing and I was at the stage by myself checking them out. I noticed this girl also by herself who was really cute and after a few minutes, I approached her. I tried some simple seduction tricks like touching her lower back while I leaned in to her ear to tell her something. She ended up leaving for a drink but she came back to the same spot and we talked some more. I approached another girl who was there with her mom. Towards the end of the night, I knew around 10 people and I had to get going to a different event. I ended up getting 2 girls numbers.

Another time earlier this year I was at a large pool party event. I was 3rd wheeling with my roommates and after the first hour, I started getting bored. I asked them what time they wanted to head out and they were planning on staying at least another 3 or 4 hours. I told myself to stop being a bitch and I decided to try at least 1 approach. I walked around the whole event once to scope out any girls that stood out. I decided to walk around one more time. I noticed a HB8 standing around with an older lady who I assumed was her mom. This girl was very tall. I'm 6'3 and she was my height with heels. I didn't really think about it and I approached them. I asked them if they were from my city and they said they were just visiting. I decided to try a seduction technique I'd learned where I was talking more to the mom than I was to the HB8. My female roommate was walking to the bar at the perfect time and I called her over. Keep in mind that my roommate is VERY hot. Very curvy, tattoos, big blue eyes, nice lips and beautiful smile, etc. Some would say she's a HB9. I called her over and we hugged and laughed because we're pretty close and this made the HB8 curious. My roommate hyped me up a bit to the HB8 and her mom saying that I was the best roommate ever and stuff and then she left. Immediately I noticed the tall HB8 become very interested in me. She said she was gonna grab a drink and asked if I would come with her. A few minutes later we were making out and the next 3 hours pretty much flew by. We were in the pool kissing and then dancing to the DJ and grinding on each other. It was fucking surreal because I thought this girl was way out of my league. I almost brought her home but she got last minute resistance when were at my car because my roommates said they were walking to my car and I assume she didn't want to seem like a slut going over some guys house that she just met so she made up some excuse about going to find her mom and left.

With that said.. There can also be bad days. I actually just had one of my worst nights 5 weeks ago. I had plans to go out with my roommates to a reggae concert. The day before, I got in contact through Instagram with this girl who was local who was also going to the show. I got her number and we had planned to meet up for one of the bands sets. When I got there, she wasn't replying back. I thought that maybe she'd flake so I decided to just shrug it off and have a good time. There was an older lady drinking a beer next to me during one of the bands sets. I tried to cheers her and try to get a good vibe going but she thought that I was offering her some of my beer and she gave me a weird look and stepped away from me. It brought me down a little bit. I then get a reply from the girl and she says that she's in the front of the stage which I can't access because I'm very tall. I reply telling her to meet me and I get no reply again. I do another approach, no luck, the girl ends up switching positions with her friend, which I assumed that she was trying to get away from me and it brought me down some more. Finally, another reply, to which I reply back trying to meet up, and then no reply again. I decided to just head to the bar for a drink and take a break and probably head home early. I ended up running into the girl and we went to watch the last band. I did not enjoy it as much as I should have. I was too obsessed with this girl. I thought she was really cute and perfect for me. I was too nervous. We held hands during the bands set but eventually she said she had to go and left. My mistake this night was that I was too obsessed with meeting up with this girl and having a perfect time that I had pictured in my head, so when she would take forever to reply or when I would get rejected from an approach, it bummed me out a lot that I wasn't able to enjoy anything because it wasn't happening perfectly like how I had it pictured in my head which is a HUGE rookie mistake.

• ANYWAYS, with that said.. a few tips on cold approaching is to always go out with the intention of having fun. Girls are attracted to the friendly guy having fun. When I go out, I try to be the action guy trying to lead a group into doing something like playing beer pong or other drinking games. DO NOT go out with the intention of picking up chicks, IMO it's ideal to go out with the intention of having a good time. When I'm out and I get a group hyped up for a game of beer pong or some foosball, and when I'm leading a group into having some fun, I end up getting some IOI's from girls who look like they want in on the fun. When you're out with the intention of having fun, it just puts you in a good mood and it gives you some positive energy that makes everybody want to be around you. If you're at the corner of the bar sitting there quietly looking around for a cute girl, you're going to look very needy and autistic. If you're ugly, you're going to look like a creep.

Talk to EVERYONE. Like the example I gave about me going to the reggae show by myself. Talk to everyone. In fact, don't even hit on anyone until you've approached a good amount of people (in a friendly manner). Remember how my first approach was when I went up to the couple, then I went up to the guy at the bar, I talked to the bartender, I then went outside and approached a girl for a smoke (no intention of seducing her, even though I got her number later on). I then met the bar guy's cousin. Finally, I made a seductive approach to a girl who was watching the band by herself. It is much easier, it's better, it brings more success, and it greatly reduces the chances of rejection if you talk to everyone first and then start making some seduction approaches. Picture yourself at a party. Imagine a random dude who you've never seen before coming up to you and asking you what you're drinking. It's a little weird right? Now picture yourself at a party. You notice a whole group listening to this guy say a story and then everybody laughing. You wonder, "I kinda wanna know what that story was about.." Then you see him 20 minutes later getting a group together to play Kings Cup, although you've never heard of it before. He's talking loudly and confidently telling everyone the rules, during the game he's yelling and laughing and just having a good time. You start getting curious of this guy right? Then he comes up to you and asks if you know how to play Kings Cup. You're actually excited to respond to this guy. You want this guy to show you how to play and you even want him to tell you that story that he was sharing with the group. Now, imagine you were a girl and that same guy came up to you and asked you to be his beer pong partner?

• I like to meditate before I go out. It helps me be more present in the moment so I have more fun, and it prevents me from getting so anxious. I also like to watch pick up videos or read successful field reports to help pump me up before a night out.

• My most important tip is to always keep this following mindset: IT'S BETTER TO KNOW, THAN NOT KNOW. or in other words, rejection is better than regret. Have you ever had a girl keep looking over at you. You guys make eye contact a few times or you notice a girl who keeps passing by your area. It makes you wonder, "Is she giving me signals?" You can search online all day and try to break down IOI's and all that, but, how do you absolutely know if she is into you? Well, by approaching her! Find out by going up to her and introducing yourself. Everyone has had experiences where they wanted to approach a girl, but they made up a bunch of excuses like, "what if I just looked like someone she knows" or "I can't talk to her now, she's on her phone". I myself have had numerous encounters like this. I even had a gym crush who would always make eye contact with me every day, but I would find excuses each time not to talk to her. This went on for months! I eventually did talk to her and she was really nice but I was still too afraid to ask her out. There's been numerous times that I see a cute girl at the gym staring at me or a girl in public who I find really attractive but I do nothing. It's happened way too many times and each time is regretful. It makes my mind go crazy wondering WHAT IF I had gone up to the girl. WHAT IF she liked me?

This also works with girls you already know but you want to see if they like you back. MAKE A MOVE! It's better to know that not know. Do you want to wonder for the rest of your life if she ever liked you back.. or do you want to find out RIGHT NOW and NOT WASTE YOUR TIME and JUST MOVE ON if you find out that she doesn't like you back.

I broke up with an LTR of 5 years last year. All year, I've been wondering if she still liked me and if maybe I can sleep with her again. It would drive me crazy some nights and I would even have wet dreams about her. One day, about 2 months ago, I finally bit the bullet and I called her. She answered. I moved away to a different state, so I told her that I would be in town next weekend and if she wanted to grab a drink. She said maybe. That she'd be free the Saturday night. A whole week passed and I was just nervous and anxious about what might happen. I knew I was going to be friendly, but I had high hopes for something to happen. I just wanted to fucking know man! Saturday came, I ended up heading out to a beach house with some friends and I invited her. She replied with some excuse. She said she didn't want to drive her new car if she drank. It doesn't matter. She wasn't interested in seeing me. And although it stung a bit.. I was fucking glad I finally knew. No more wondering. No more hoping. Fuck it. She's moved on, I have to move on too.

Final Story:

One last example of "IT'S BETTER TO KNOW THAN NOT KNOW".

I was seeing this girl from Tinder. We'll call her Mumbles. Y'all know Tinder. It's for hookups. I met a friend of Mumbles a few times (We'll call her Noodles) and we noticed pretty quickly that we had things in common and we could get along well, but we kept a distance and I never really thought about making a move on her.

A few months passed by with me and Mumbles just hooking up. Noodles would occasionally send me a meme or tag me in funny stuff online. Maybe she didn't really have friends or something. Noodles asks me one day if I would design a logo for her. I asked if she was ok with coming to my place to work on the design in person and she said sure. I honestly had no intention of making a move or anything, to me it was just business. We work on the logo and we actually start having a good time. We finish the logo, and I ask if she'd like to stay and hang out. She says yes. Long story short, things escalate, and we're laying down, I'm sitting up on my elbow staring at her. I want to kiss her, but she's out of my league. I think she likes me, but I'm kind of seeing her friend. Again, I bite the bullet, I remember my motto: "IT'S BETTER TO KNOW THAN NOT KNOW". I say, agh, fuck it. I go in for a kiss.. and.. she pulls away. She tells me that Mumbles is her friend. I say ok and back off. I notice that Noodles still hasn't left. I tell her that she should go, because I know that I'm going to try to kiss her again. She doesn't leave. I go in for another kiss and she kisses me back. We confess our feelings for each other, and one week later, we become boyfriend and girlfriend. We've been dating now for almost 6 weeks (;