Lately there have been far too many posts regarding physical appearance and it’s implications on seduction. It’s like some guys are begging for an excuse not to be good enough, and it’s fucking pathetic.

I say that because I’ve been there. For a long time I considered myself extremely physically unattractive. From my fundamental body structure to my facial features to the quality of my hair, the shape of my nails, and the all-consuming penis size - yeah I had it bad. I was a self-loathing wimp. I had an ego the size of a small planet. I very much doubt a lot of people here were more concerned about their physical appearance than I was, or maybe they were. Just goes to show how similar we all are, doesn’t it? I’m going to try and explain to you how I overcame this issue, and although it may sound quite tragic to some of you it wasn’t easy. It was bloody HARD and it took several months to overcome a conditioning problem that had been going on since adolescence. But then again, inner game issues are always tough.

Point 1: I started working out. I cannot emphasize this point enough. And I don’t mean just lifting weights. All forms of exercise helped, and here is the reason why: I learned to appreciate my body and what it can do for me. I watched it grow and shape up. I started to feel like this was what I was meant to look like all along. Our bodies have evolved to be able to accomplish the most extraordinary things, but in this day and age most of us just sit in front of the computer or TV snacking. We drive to work and back. We can consume more calories in a day than our ancestors could have dreamed of gathering in years. Technology has been good to us, but it’s been too good. I urge you to get active and stay active; it will literally change your life. Find out what your body is capable of; be curious as to what a physically fit version of you will look like. You will look better and feel better about yourself. Women appreciate a strong and healthy man. Give your body the attention it deserves and it will reward you for it, no doubt. A note on this: the decision to become active is a lifetime decision. I’ve been a gym member for the past year and I never ever intend to stop. I can take a break here and there, but I’ll know when I’m slacking and I make no excuses. Until I’m 60 years old and happily married with 5 kids I will. Never. Fucking. Stop. And you shouldn’t either.

Point 2: Let me ask you something. Do you know what you look like? Can you conjure up a highly accurate mental image of yourself and of your body? I couldn’t. I remembered other people’s faces far better than I remembered my own. Now I’m sure there’s some underlying psychological reason as to why but I didn’t concern myself with that. Instead, I face myself in the mirror. I walk around the house in just my shorts and I catch a glimpse of myself every time I walk past a mirror. I check myself out from all angles, all the time. A few months of this later and now I know exactly what I look like. It’s all about positive reinforcement. Tell yourself you’re beautiful for a while and you’ll start to believe it. Which brings me on to point 3…

Point 3: Learn to love yourself!! Stop comparing yourself to other people. With ALL your flaws and imperfections, you are who you are and you ought to appreciate every fucking thing about yourself. It is what it is gentlemen, this is who you are. You want to compare yourself to others? Then compare yourself to the millions of less fortunate folk out there. Head on over to Google images and compare yourself to (warning: first one is NSFW) THIS and THIS and THIS. You have plenty of fucking reasons to be grateful you ungrateful little shit. The VAST majority of people are flawed in some way, women included, and that’s why the vast majority of people can overlook your flaws and appreciate you for who you are exactly as you are. Nobody is perfect.

Point 4: Don’t be self-defeating about your physical characteristics, I absolutely guarantee that you exaggerate. Remember how I said I always thought I had an unattractive face? (and as a matter of fact I still kind of do, not that I care anymore). I was on the night bus the other day at 4am and started talking to a cute little hottie who was a paralegal. At some point during the conversation she told me I had a “really nice face” which literally froze my brain for a second, because I wasn’t used to processing any positive comments about my face. In fact, I hesitated for a moment and wondered if she was being sarcastic. Just to show you guys how deeply ingrained these ideas are in your mind despite the fact that they aren’t true. I’ll cut to the chase and tell you that I got this girls number and a peck on the lips before she got off the bus. She wasn’t even drunk or anything.

Point 5: Dress to impress. Carry yourself like a king. Smell amazing all the time. All of these micro-bullet points count for a fuckload. I’m not even gonna bother explaining why.

Nothing is in black and white. This world is so fucking huge and complex that any generalizations you make about even yourself aren’t true. You want proof? Suffice to say that there are men far worse looking than you who have slept with women far hotter than you will ever sleep with. Some men get laid simply because of their looks, others because of their intelligence, others because of their wit, and yet even more others because of their wealth. Becoming your best self involves a whole lot more than just appearance. Don’t you EVER use your appearance as an excuse to not approach the women you want in your life. Sure, you’ll miss the ones who are shallow enough to judge you based solely on your appearance, but then again you were being just as shallow approaching them because of their looks in the first place. Seduction is a game of numbers. Take risks, and you’ll win some and you’ll lose some. But heck at least you’re winning some.