TL;DR: confidence breeds confidence, use a small success to go get bigger successes; r/fitness

I am sure this is happened to most of us at one point or another: we struggle to get a girlfriend and then all in a sudden we feel as if a number of possibilities appear in front of us.

Older redditor here, former AFC/Mr Nice Guy, I do OK now with the ladies; and especially recently in the past year or so, my game (I hate to call it that, but it would do for now) is stratospheric and in auto-pilot.

I've posted and commented before that I don't have a set strategy and I don't go to bars/clubs at night, instead I prefer to talk with anyone and everyone anywhere, anytime: male, females, good looking or ugly, kids to grandparents. It happens naturally that a mutual attraction develops with some of the young attractive females, and then things escalate naturally.

A while ago I met someone really good and we've been dating for quite about nine months now, then 4 months ago I strike a friendship than slowly but steadily became a full blown very sexual and very sensual relationship, I am not afraid to say that I am crazy about her and vice versa. So I find myself seriously dating two wonderful women, and at the same time I have a few FWB that I can call if I want to, but I no longer do as often as I used to.

And over the weekend I met someone else too, just talking, conversation on Saturday; so I mentioned to her another party that I was going to on Sunday and made it so that she got invited there as well. Mind you that I was at the Saturday party with the woman that I've been dating for 9 months; while on Sunday I was with the woman that I've been dating for 4 months. Today I was exchanging emails and then video chat with the one I just met on Saturday and tomorrow she's coming to my place for dinner and drinks, and most probably we're going to F-close.

I attribute the success to a handful of factors:

  • I don't need a girlfriend, I don't need anything, I have all I need, but it's fun to meet new people and get to know them. It is what the PUS community calls it outcome independent, whenever I talk with a good looking woman, I am just talking, no ulterior motive at that point in time, as time progresses some mutual attraction might develop, or might not, and by that time we're both flirting and kino and escalating

  • Since I don't need anything, I am confident. I am not saying that I feel confident, I am saying that I am confident; not more confident that's a wishy-washy state, I am, period.

  • Advanced game. I've been doing this for a very long time, but I have to attribute a lot of credit to seddit, while I don't agree with the night game and negs, shit tests, peacocking and similar stuff, there are some contributors in here who talk about what I call the Modern Confident Male, which is a state that involves myself and my own life first, and where attracting women is a by-product. Not that I am comparing myself to George, but take George Clooney, he's a successful individual living his own life on his own terms, and having fun and the time of his life doing it. Attracting women is a by-product of that; my bet is that he didn't go to any PUA bootcamp nor did he ever read a seduction manual.

  • I also have to give a lot of credit to /r/fitness, in the past couple of years I went from skinny-fat (I looked good, very good in nice clothes), to having nice biceps, a v-shaped torso, flat hard belly, and I'm on my way to have six-packs abs, but not yet. I still dress in nice casual clothes, but lots of short sleeves and it shows, and since I am not attracted only to fit women who workout, it's easy to exchange body pics very early on, and that makes a world of difference.

So, once you've had that successful date, use that confidence that is now in you to go out there and be your best self, have fun, and get the girl that you deserver; and do spend time working on yourself including taking care of your body /r/fitness is great!

Just sharing with this community my observations and my 2 c.