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wartorle
[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
sorry wrong place, please remove
[–]Dayman-Nightman 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
BUT IT WAS CRAZY
[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
okay any pointers?
[–]Dayman-Nightman 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The second she called you a friend you should've walked the other way. By sticking around and continuing to engage her you are only cementing that idea in her head.
[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
tbh she was really drunk, like i dont think she will even remember who walked her home
[–]Throwaway_d 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (42 children) | Copy Link
So got her home, then she wanted to give me a hug. I just just pushed her away as a little joke
That was the perfect move, you just didn't know it!
Lastly at 5:30 she texts me saying "you are sick" I had no clue what this means?
Consider that she is trying to keep her guessing - just like you kept her guessing by pushing her away.
You lost some value with her little test, but you totally gained it back by pushing her away. You have shown her that you're not just the nice guy who will give her endless validation.
She still likes you. Just play things carefully now.
BTW: advice on kissing. 80% of the time when I am kissing a girl for the first time, I grab her by her waist and pull her into me caveman style. It takes balls to do this but women love it. It turns them on. If you had done that you would have no problem - I think you were being a bit too romantic here.
[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (41 children) | Copy Link
so the push away was a good move. I knew it was something good my brain came up with. So the you are sick was a test? in future what should I do.
Okay future dates, how would you recommend it? be more sensitive, talk about my feelings for her?
[–]lofiharvest 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ya it sounds like a classic shit test. I would have answered "you are sick" with 'OMG you are right! You should probably come over and check my temperature ;)' This technique is called agree and amplify. You could also have ignored her statement altogether and directed the conversation somewhere else. When you answered back with "why" you allowed yourself to be pulled into her frame which sub-communicates lower value.
but I pushed her away when she wanted a hug.
Wait you have feelings for her after just one date? I hate to say it but if thats the case this certainly is an alarm bell that you are probably a clingy or needy person. I use to do the same thing when I was younger and let me tell you there is almost nothing less attractive to a woman. Now there is nothing wrong with developing feelings for a person when appropriate. But think about it like this, you barely know the person and yet you are letting yourself form an emotional connection this fast? A starving person will eat anything but a well nourished person will wait till they find something good to eat. A friend of mine did the same thing with a girl he started dating. They go on like two dates and he says things like 'Things are going amazing. I really am hoping she's the last person I ever have to date' I tell him 'You need to calm down man, you don't know her. Just chill and see what happens'. He rejects my advice and after a few more dates she totally says she wants to just be friends because she didn't feel any sparks. He then answers with a desperate 'Oh really? Thats strange because I definitely felt sparks. Sometimes it takes time for a fire to start' and then proceeds to try and make her feel sorry for him. My point is this would have never happened if he had stronger inner game and wasn't so desperate. More than likely she picked up on all his clinginess and moved on.
I dont have feelings for her, thats why I did not answer her.
[–]Throwaway_d 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (36 children) | Copy Link
'You are sick' is her purposely trying to confuse you, I think, because she refused to clarify what she meant. She's trying to keep you guessing just like you did to her. I would have just said 'thanks' or maybe 'why' like you said. Anything except 'omg you too'.
Regarding your last question, NO. You're already being too emotional. Go the other way - just be fun and flirty and sexual. In the early stages of dating dont ever show your interest for her verbally - show it with your actions. Touch her, make out with her, try and fuck her. Becoming emotionally invested is supposed to take time - if she sees it happening too quickly she will think you are needy.
[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link
The fact that she is trying to confuse me, does she have some interest. Like she replied striaghtaway and said she is sleeping now.
I wasn't being that emotional. Yes I did lots of touching and stuff, I think I showed my interest through body language. That's why she asked me what are you feeling? And I did not answer as it would of been to emtotional.
[–]Throwaway_d 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (34 children) | Copy Link
Yes I think she does have some interest. To be honest, you probably would have been better not replying to her text at all. You want her wondering if she has fucked it up with you, not the other way around.
This girl is a bit of a player - you might have turned it around but you have to proceed really carefully here.
I think you are still in the running but I would wait a while before contacting her again.
Her asking 'what are you feeling' is weird. I think she could sense that you were over invested somehow (or that it seemed that way).
[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (33 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for for reply. She gets lots of male attention so I thought I had to move it along quickly. Bad mistake.
Well when she asked it, she had a glow in her eye, a smile. She didn't feel repulsed by my moves I'm guessing.
A lot of the one she was making comments that I sit with the. Main crowd at uni. That it am popular, those kind of comments. Then in the way home she said sorry about the night. So I think I do have some power.
The thing is she has said she has never dated before uni. And the first ever date was to the cinema with a guy who she didn't like. And our date was a cosy bar, drinks and lots of talking. So maybe she felt a bit uncomfortable. And because she tells me she is naturally shy it makes sense.
[–]Throwaway_d 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (32 children) | Copy Link
You should always try to move things along quickly. Whether your goal is just to get laid or make her your girlfriend, moving things along physically is the way to get ahead of the other guys. But at the same time, you don't want to seem desperate and you have to understand that not every girl will bang on the first date.
Women will forgive you for moving too fast, but they will lose attraction if you are a pussy. So take a risk. Try the caveman move I talked about. I can't remember the last time I did not at least make out with a girl on the first date.
I think you're in a good position with this girl. And you don't sound like a needy guy so you'll do fine. Just play everything cool - if she rejects your advances don't make a big deal it of it, don't complain or ask her why. Just act like you don't care. And don't be afraid to take yourself away - that's the most powerful thing you can do.
I think some of her weirdness might come from the fact that she is inexperienced and possibly a bit intimidated.
[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link
Hey thanks for this. I've used the cave man move on anther girl. It was so much better than what I did before. Although this girl was a bit more open and more experienced.
Okay last question about my other date. When I asked her what she thinks of me. Did she really mean friends. I know I should've never asked that, as a girl will never openly answer that question even if she likes a guy.
Yeah I am gonna avoid her, and make contact when the time is right.
[–]Throwaway_d 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link
It's quite possible she did mean it in that moment, but I think you turned it round.
The reason it you shouldn't ask her is that you shouldn't need to. You can tell if a girl likes you by the way she acts with you. It also makes you look a bit needy, like you are trying to win her over. Why were you walking her home anyway?
I would leave it a week and ask her out again.
[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link
I only walked her home because she was In a bad state. She could not walk, and had no money to get a can or bus. Or friends who could help as it was late. As a human I had to ensure she got home safely. If she had some way to get home, I would of let her go on her own.
The girl is quit shy and it is hard to tell if she likes me. But the fact that she did not move away when I was touching her, must mean she has some interest.
[–]Throwaway_d1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That's cool man, you did the right thing taking her home then.
Try her again then. Sometimes these shy girls are really not worth the effort though. I got with the shyest girl ever a little while back, and it was the worst sex of my life.
[–]wartorle1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Hey man, just an update.
So I left it a week, I called her today. The convo was for like 15 mins. At first I just teased her about some things we joke about, and she even started teasing her self, lots of laughing and stuff.
Then got down to business, just said that we both had a weird time at the bar, we should forgot what we said and we should move on. She said yes.
But I just wanted to know what she meant by the you are sick. She seemed to get shy, and didn't want to answer it, I pushed one more time. And she just quickly said bye, see you around. And hung up.
One last thing, she seemed really suprised I called her, like she was asking if I was okay. I felt like she was expecting me to call her. (Not 100% on this)
So what do you think?
I think you fucked up.
Calling her shows a lot of investment. Flirting and trying to make her laugh shows a lot of investment. Asking her what she meant shows a lot of investment.
You probably lost any chance you had with this girl doing that stuff. Pretending you are not interested in her when you obviously are (otherwise why would you call) also makes you look low-value.
Look, there's two ways you could have played this:
Both of these had a low chance of working but there was a glimmer of hope for option 2 because she seemed to respond to your 'no hug' thing.
If you're gonna go for option 2 next time, do it properly. Back off and just shoot her the occasional flirty text. When you are already losing a girl, doing lots of flirting and giving her more attention just makes it look like you are trying to win her round - it never works.
What are some ways to show high value?
In this situation? There's little you can do to raise your value, but lots you can do to to lose it.
A high-value man would have other dating options. So in an ideal world you want her to see you with a hot girl. Other than that, all you can do is make yourself scarce, wait a while and re-initiate. When you re-initiate, either send her something fun and flirty or just go balls-out and ask her out again.
You want to avoid doing anything that a guy with no options would do. Giving her lots of attention, trying to win her attraction, being more conservative in your communication - these things do nothing for you.
Yes I do feel that I over invested. But the thing is that she thinks I am a player. She said said she wants to experience my popularity and she wished she was like me. She said this in her own words.
In my opinion when I called her she seemed suprised. At first she said she was busy helping her friend she will call back tmorrow. But 1 min later she calls me.
So I am not sure what to make of it? What do you think?
This may seem like a lot of effort for a shy girl, but it I good experience for me, learning lots.
If a girl says you're a player, that's usually a good thing. If she says she wishes she were like you, that's nice but it doesn't mean she's into you.
Hmm, that's interesting that she called you back. But then she hung up on you.
It's kinda hard to read this one - it might just be that you are both playing hard to get.
Either way you basically ended it with her. I would leave it like 3 or 4 weeks then text her something flirty out of the blue.
yeah, she said she was really busy, and couldn't talk. Maybe she needed a friend there, like on loud speaker?
Yeah she hung up, because she would not tell me the meaning of the you are sick text.
Or maybe she was just trying to purposely fuck with your head again.
Best thing you can do is go and meet some other women dude.
There is no better feeling then when you are chasing some idiot girl who is giving you the run-around, and then you meet a better one that really likes you. It's like "your loss, bitch!"
And at that point you're not pretending - you really are ignoring the first girl because you have better options.
Get in touch if you want advice in the future man.
Hey man.
So today I saw her, just said hello as I was passing by with my friends. 1 hour late she texts me "do you want to do something over the weekend?xx"
Do you think she's interested?
Yes! Get in there.
So she is interested in me again?
This time I will be going for the kiss, using your method.
Do you have any other General dating tips? Convo tips? Thanks!
Looks like she is interested yes.
I have loads of tips for you. First tip is this: don't try and learn too many techniques at one time. Lots of guys in this community think they have to study PUA material a lot before they use it. This is actually bad for you.
Try ONE of these things next time you're on a date: 1- Being dominant This is subtle but just be very decisive throughout the night and tell her what to do.Say 'ok I'm getting the drinks, you go find a table for us to sit at'. Don't say 'do you want to go to another bar?', say 'lets get out of here, I know another place nearby that's good.
2- Talk sexual Make your conversations sexual, even if it is just saying something silly like 'this burger tastes so good, I might actually orgasm'. Then if you can actually start talking about sex, even better. Show her that you are comfortable talking about sex (and therefore good at it).
3- Super-flirt You can have so much fun flirting and teasing BUT it should feel natural. If you are trying too hard to flirt and make her laugh you will look like you are insecure.
There's loads of shit you can do. Accuse her of being drunk/trying to steal things/trying to seduce you. Give ridiculous answers to her questions. Bust on her for stupid things She says.
If it's going down well and she has a good sense of humour, you can take it to extremes. Make out she is a prostitute and keep teasing her about it. I have also done this thing where I grab her hand and put it on my crotch (so she can actually feel my dick) and then say 'Amy!! How dare you!' as if she was doing of it her own accord. Obviously be careful with that one.
4- Be physical Just keep finding excuses to touch her.
5- Be a great listener This can create Magic. If you really pay attention to her and try and understand her life and the things she has experienced, and how she sees the world, you can connect extremely well. She will want to fuck you.
I have plenty more tips but try this stuff first. Good luck!
Thanks great advice, I have a date with another girl who I don't like, so I can be risky and practice all your advice.
So the girl we have been talking about, what should I do when she asks me "what are you feeling" again. Should I be dominate, tell her to close her eyes and pull her in and kiss her?
Lol remember my first tip - don't try and do too much at once. Actually the most important thing on a date is to be present. If you are continuously thinking about your next move, you won't be good company. So just pick one thing and evaluate how well it worked afterwards.
Regarding the 'how are you feeling'.It's such a weird, immature question to be asked, I think I would mock her for it. 'I'm feeling a bit weirded out that you keep asking me that. Other than that, I think I'm starting to need the toilet and my left nut needs a scratch. Any other questions?"
Or you could go with. "I'm having a great time. Shame about the company though." (That is a great flirt line by the way, Ive used it many times. Say it with a smirk on your face so she knows you are teasing.)
The kiss thing could be good actually, I think you should try it. When she asks just say 'I'll show you. Close your eyes." Then go for it. If she refuses and keeps asking you, pull out your phone for a second like you are a bit bored. Let her know she is being lame.
So I need some help. The girls at my uni, are the kind of girls which want a man to show that they like them. How can I do this?
I mean I can't say to them I like them as it gives them the power. So how should I show them I like them. Have got got any physical and verbal methods?
You can tell them that you like them - it's not giving away your power if you do it in the right way. If you see a girl sitting on a bench and you say 'hey you are so cute I had to meet you', that is not giving your power away, it's being bold and shameless.
However, I wouldn't do that in the middle of a conversation (or in a bar/club). Girls like guys that have social intelligence, i.e guys that can read sub-communication and use it themselves. So often the best way to show a girl you like her is by flirting with her. Tease her, playfully put her down, make out she is a prostitute etc (but don't overdo it).
I used this to good effect on Friday - I rocked up to a bar on my own, flirted with two cute girls outside for a few minutes, then I say 'lets go inside'. We go in and they invite me to their table and buy me a drink - I was in straight away :) Unfortunately I got massively cockblocked by their other friend, but you can't win em all.
So yeah just try flirting, touching her and leading. But you always have to do or say something bold at some point. I got a sports massage last week and at the end I got the number of the girl doing the massage. We were talking all the way through and at the end I just said 'y'know what, you're a good conversation. Let's go for a coffee soon.' She says 'yeah definitely'. Then she leaves to let me get dressed, when I see her at reception she says something about 'going for a friendly coffee'. So I figured she is either testing me or she is not sure what I meant. So I said (with a smile) 'I don't mean as friends, I mean I like you'. She gave me her number and we have talked since.
So basically rules are made to be broken. You should always be ready to just be totally open and own your intentions. Women like a guy who can be totally bold when he needs to be too.
But the trick is if you are going to be open about liking her you have to say it like you don't give a fuck.Say it like its no big deal to you and you couldn't care less if she reciprocates. It's only when it's obvious that it's a big deal to you that you lose your power (I.e because you are nervous).
hey man, so met another shy and introverted girl (not sure why i keep getting the shy ones.
So with this shy and introverted girl. Went out with her twice. I thought she likes me due to signs I saw- Okay she may have been tipsy but she did have full awareness
So not sure what to make of all this? Like why did she give me all these signs then reject calling it a date and going as friends. Does she want to move slowly? Like she did mention her perants took 5 years to get together, could this be a hint? I mean she has never been in a relationship.
i mean people who are introverted have trust issues.
Dude, you sure are a magnet for some crazy chicks!
I agree people do have trust issues but this was a flat-out friendzoning.Those were undoubtedly some strong signals she was giving you before though. Did you try to make out with her or anything?
I think there's two possibilities here:
I think your only choice is to try and reverse the power dynamic. Just text back saying "no hard feelings but I think I'll leave it." She might change her tune. If you lose her then you lose her, but do not agree to be friendzoned.
Let me give you some very important advice - don't tell a girl verbally that you like her or that you had an awesome time. Not in the early stages anyway. Girls will sense that you like them by the way you treat them and how often you text/date them. But when you say that stuff, they stop seeing you as a challenge and lose their attraction, unless they are heavily invested in you. It's fucking stupid, but that's how women work.
Thank you so much, excellent advice.
Well last night we went for drinks. She wanted to see me drunk. So I took down lots of shots.
Then I was completely drunk, and the bar man kept giving me water. I didn't want to drink it. But she was like "babe I will do anything if you drink one glass" She kissed me a couple of times, I would say three. On the top of my head, cheek and near the forehead. Then at the end of the night she hugged at kissed me again on the cheek
I also recall at moment, where I showed her a picture of me as a child. And she wanted her son to to like me. Not sure what this means, but I am guessing it was alcohol.
This girl sounds very motherly (which makes sense if she is a mother). I dated a girl who was like that for a while, she is great.
It does sound like she sees you as a potential boyfriend but Im still worried you're heading for the friend-zone. Please tell me you made a move physically!
Well checked with someone, she doesn't have a child. Well I triws going for the kiss on the lips, but she moved her chin a little.
After I kissed her on the check when we said goodbye. Also during the date kissed her on the top of the head like she did we me. Saw her today and she said she had a good time. I said I want to meet next week, and she said yeah, text me Later
I think she is friendzoning you and just using you for validation. Though it's quite possible she does like you a bit.
If I was you, I would suddenly go off the radar for a couple of weeks. Dont meet up with her. Communicate very sparsely. Basically make her wonder if she has fucked up and has lost you to someone else.
You need to regain control. Being easily available will not help you do that. Be a challenge.
Yeah that is a good idea and I will do that. Yes I meet all the crazy girls, but what is life without a challenge.
Well at uni, she sits at the back in her own. She saw me walking in. When we finished, she usally is the first on out. But today she just wouldn't leave, so I had to walk past and talk to her.
I have been best friends with girls in the past, I mean we used to have sleepovers, so I mean best friends. But none of them has ever kissed me, even in one and one situations while tipsy.
Well, I'm not saying completely ignore her. You don't want to look like you're annoyed. Just go quiet, reply to texts sparsely. And don't meet up with her. There's always a risk it won't work but you have to try something.
If girls see you as friends you're pretty fucked. It's just the way they work. Don't let it go down that road.
Hey man, so just some General advice. How would I push a girl away, I got hooked with this one girl, and I kind of went bad. I was said 3 times I don't want to see you, but each time she said you don't mean it, and don't me upset at me.
Okay so how would I show her i am not desperate and treat her like I would a normal female friend.
Like ignore texts, never text first. Anything else? L
I'm not sure what you mean. You have said you don't want to see her but she doesn't believe you?
I would just tell her that you honestly don't like her in a romantic way. I would back off from the texts but don't have to ignore her unless she genuinely won't leave you alone. Let her down gently.
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[–]wartorle 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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