Dealing with shit tests

intjpua · 2010-06-06T20:31:28+00:00

You're right that shit tests are a good thing. They mean you've made an impact on the girl in some way. Dull and flat "yes" or "no" answers from a girl are the worst thing you can get; they mean you're basically invisible to her. Shit tests mean she's taken notice of you, and she's trying to rule you out as a potential mate quickly so she can either start pursuing you, or get rid of you and on with attracting someone more suitable.

The key is simply to not react when you get a shit test. Don't apologize, don't act like you've been caught, don't argue. And, move on from it quickly. She's not driving the conversation, because if you let her, you'll just keep getting tested over and over and over until you blow out.

Some should be simply ignored. We discussed one of these in your recent post about your tight shirt and muscles, and the girls response to that. Compliments, or even non-compliments (like the "Is it about that shirt?"), should generally be dealt with a calmly and quickly as possible; "You like my X? Cool, thanks."

The one about muscles was definitely the more aggressive of the two shit tests in that interaction (really cool that you got shit tests from both girls, by the way), and needs to just be ignored. When the subject is money (indirectly, like, "That watch looks expensive." or directly, like, "You must be very successful."), popularity ("Do you know all those girls?", "Oh, you're in the band!"), looks ("You wanna show me your muscles?", "Can I touch your hair?") etc. you should be somewhat dismissive and tend towards ignoring it. They're often trying to bait you into bragging; and bragging is deeply unattractive. So, say, "You like my X? Cool, thanks." and move on quickly.

Others should be made ridiculous. Google "absurdify" for examples of this. If she accuses you of using a pickup line, respond with, "I know, it's the worst pickup line ever! So, anyway, do you think that's cheating when blah blah blah..." If she comments on your shoes, "I know, these are the cheapest shoes ever. I can't believe they even let me in this place in these shoes."

Others can be turned around. "Where are your friends?" "I don't know. I'm lost. Can you help me?" and, "Why don't you have a girlfriend?" "The real question is why don't you have a boyfriend?"

Specifics don't matter, though. Non-reactiveness is what matters. The thing you need to internalize is that this is some random person you just met. WTF do you care what they think of you, your shoes, your shirt, your muscles, your money, your approach, your looks, whatever? They matter so little in your opinion of yourself that you don't even really respond to it; you might even just completely ignore it, if it's particularly aggressive.

Say you're talking to a group of girls, and one of them gets bitchy, and says, "Who the fuck are you?" or "Why are you talking to us?" or something very antagonistic, I would just look somewhat quizzically at the girl for a split second, as though I'm pretty sure she just said something but it didn't make any sense, and then turn away from her and continue talking to the rest of the girls as though nothing happened, "So, anyway..."

Another option that I've never tried, which seems kinda risky to me, but people have reported success with it, is to respond and react but in a way that she completely did not expect. The example I've seen is in response to a particularly harsh shit test; you'd say, "I know." with a sympathetic nod. She'd reply, confused, "You know what?" "I know someone treated horribly in the past, and you're just trying to protect yourself now. I'm sorry that happened to you."

Anyway, there is no "passing" a shit test...the only way to pass is to not take the test. How you opt out of the test, and what you say, isn't all that important, though it helps to have many mechanisms for opting out, particularly in cases where there are several women who might be shit-testing you in an interaction. Hopefully, by the time you zero in on your target, the shit tests will come down to just one source, and they'll mostly slow to a trickle after just a few minutes...but you have to get there first, and there may be some tests along the way. And, some women are content with one or two shit tests, and won't play games after that, while others will keep it up throughout the relationship, across several dates, testing you anew each time you talk to her.

chameche · 2010-06-06T20:02:48+00:00

You're right, it's all about frame control. There really is no golden answer. Having a funny response can be a good or you can sometimes almost ignore it. It kind of depends though. If you make her qualify herself to you then she might not even shit test you at all since you will have already proved yourself as being the one in control of the interaction. Or at least don't jump through her hoops unless she jumps through yours first. But basically I think you're right: if you keep the right mindset passing her shit tests will just come naturally.

thebestthebestthebes · 2010-06-08T01:41:42+00:00

I'm a big advocate of cocky and funny so my advice is to just never address the test logically, and to make a joke response.

rmbarnes · 2010-06-06T19:55:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheUltimateBeta · 2010-06-08T10:42:24+00:00

If a woman is putting you through any type of test it's a chance for you to show your devotion to her. Don't disregard her request. She wants you to show your worthiness. I'm always very respectful of their requests and ask them if they'd like a drink before I begin running my game. I give them a quick run down (resume style) of the various career successes I've had. I'm not ashamed to quote account balances from my 401k (back when the market was good) and trumpet my various victories from track and field back in junior high. Whatever you do be respectful and don't be aggressive in your pursuit or she will think you just want her for sex. If it turns out to be a friendship that's great. Girls love a good listener. :)

Title	Dealing with shit tests
Author	rmbarnes
Upvotes	17
Comments	23
Date	June 6, 2010 7:34 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cc2oi/dealing_with_shit_tests/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dealing-with-shit-tests.1302886 https://theredarchive.com/post/1302886

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