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[–]oyrishluck 18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sounds off. Ever considered spending a couple weeks travelling to use the same approach in another area, just to gauge the difference/lack of? Could be insightful if you become truly stuck where you're at. You sound like a good dude, I hope you figure it out soon.
[–]psychicblasterr7 points 3 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I really appreciate that bro. I’m in Austin Texas right now and it does seem to be very competitive. Girls have told me they get approached here when they go out more often than anywhere else they’ve been. I’ve done very well in other countries, and will take that advice and experiment with another city/country soon
[–]oyrishluck 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well shit, there you go, that's interesting.
I knew someone in a similar boat to you. He was looking for a real connection with someone, but in his case, didn't necessarily know it existed, so he was playing the numbers game so that (as you said) he would at least get some casual sex (but unlike you, not so ethically-minded. Which is why I applaud you- it seems almost common now for guys to start semi-hating women and treating them unethically when they have been through trauma with them).
So he travelled and played the numbers game, and that led him to someone he fell in love with in another country.
Anyway that's awesome, hope you have some good travels.
[–]Woujo 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You are probably not spending enough time talking to the girls. You have to build a real emotional connection.
[–]Rema5able-Touch7574 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
FUCK YOU CUNT SHIT DRIPPING LICKING BASTARD CUCK HOLDING PUSSY ASS WHOLE ASS BITCH NIGGA WITH A BLUE WAFFLE CUNT SHIT FUCK BITCH!!!
[–]g3wb3r 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Cold approaching in the day will always have the lowest conversion rate to sex because you are talking to girls that are not showing any indication that they are open to meeting anyone. Learn to read body language and you will notice a difference between girls who are open for something and girls who are not. Use eye contact and her response to you saying "hi" for further information. Do not push on cold responses. You need to cut the fat out of your approaching and become more efficient by reading girls better.
Cold approaching in bars and clubs will always work better because if the girl is out that usually means shes down for something as long as shes not with a group of girls who will judge her.
Also, the mindset of wanting to meet someone special and have a connection is very feminine. The girls you really like will feel this and be turned off. You have to change your mindset or the girl will wonder why the hell you want a relationship so badly? Is your life really that shit? Why is she so special? You don't need a girl to make you happy man that is social conditioning and a complete lie. It's actually the opposite.
Focus on getting sex quickly by being very direct and sexually forward and if a girl proves her worthiness to you over time then you can consider making her something more.
Forget about societal norms and social acceptance that stuff is for beta males.
[–]MartMillz 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Where do you people get these pseudo rules? What bar even has girls? Much less girls NOT in a group? What fantasy land is this?
[–]g3wb3r 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
not sure if trolling .. you ever been to a bar or club? girls very often go out with just 1 friend, not in groups of 4 or more who will judge them.
[–]zapadz 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Here are some videos on reducing flaking. Remember to lead with attraction not comfort.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EogjdB3msWA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY7PE_qFdY0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv6DZxN0Ai4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwnZP1TPJic
[–]psychicblasterr1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thank you bro I’ll check these out!
[–]RedditsOlderBrah 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
wow. there's quite a lot in this. firstly, i bet there is about a few tens of thousands of men who are reading this that would crawl a mile of broken glass to be laid twice in 150 approaches. i believe you're a good looking guy. interesting you're not making any genuine connections though. why do you think that is?
ps, if i were looking for an attractive, intelligent, and kind woman i'd try a university gym and not just random women on the street.
[–]psychicblasterr4 points 3 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
I appreciate the perspective bro. I know dating is hard for everyone right now and I have a lot to be grateful for. The answer might just be to suck it up and get more volume.
I usually approach at bars and clubs. I’ve made a few gym approaches but will take that advice and make more, those are the kinds of girls I am most physically attracted to (although I generally prefer older than college girls).
I think I am connecting on a certain level. There are a few girls I’ve approached that I’ve been super excited about, and talked to about passions like reading, meditation, travel, and politics. They’re just very hard to get out on a date, and I feel after a flake or two I’m in a chasing position so I stop pushing for it.
I’m 28, and have been blessed to travel outside the US a good bit. I never have trouble with Latin or European girls. But I’ve always had difficulty with American girls (never had a girlfriend in high school or college), so I think there might be some specificities to the courtship ritual here that I’m just too dumb to troubleshoot.
I really appreciate the response as well 🙏
[–]RedditsOlderBrah 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
you think the answer might be do the same thing, but harder? i can offer some other options.
There are a few girls I’ve approached that I’ve been super excited about, and talked to about passions like reading, meditation, travel, and politics.
this is cool, and good, but these are things that you think are important. what are they interested in? if they were all about that too, i find it difficult to believe they'd need to have their arm twisted to go hang out with a good looking dude who shares their passions.
i'm reading into this a bit but i don't think you're getting a good read on the women you're talking to.
and it amuses me no end that american girls are your problem. on both of my visits to your humble nation i have laid waste to the single and not single (regrettably) women in your population.
[–]psychicblasterr3 points 3 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Haha as far as American women yea that’s what a lot of people have told me, and I know other guys don’t have a problem. Must be my own hang ups or blind spots.
I agree with you on the strangeness of the difficulty of getting girls who share my passions out on a date. They often watch all my IG stories, like them, and tell me how excited they were to see me. But still flaky when it comes to the actual date. The last girl canceled the day of leaving me a bit disheartened.
I think trying the same thing but harder is possibly the best option right now. If nothing else, I’ll get more experience and hopefully more pattern recognition. Thanks again
[–]RedditsOlderBrah 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
sure man, good luck.
try and keep in mind what i said about really listening to what the women are saying. i don't think you're picking up what they're putting down, but i have confidence that you'll learn with time regardless.
[–]psychicblasterr2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I got you bro. I’ll try to put more attention on that. Thanks for the advice and encouragement 💪
[–]rivetcitymayor 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No man is reading this thing 2/150 sounds good
[–]RedditsOlderBrah 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
shit, i do.
[–]mabden 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Maybe I am misreading, your complaint is not getting laid (attempts vs results) but you want a long term relationship. Which is it?
Each have different approaches/strategies to yield success. IOWs, using one approach to achieve a different outcome leads to the frustration you are experiencing.
[–]psychicblasterr 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel that and appreciate the response. A long term relationship with someone compatible would be my top goal, but if not I’d prefer to at least have consistent casual sex in an ethical win-win way.
[–]Mr_Throwaway2834 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Read Mode One
[–]i_love_crazy_hobos 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Twice out of 150 sounds great to me. Anyway, we can't tell you nuanced problems in your approach without ever seeing you.
Go out with a wing and ask them. Record yourself on your phone with the voice recorder app during approaches, and listen to it later. Ask others to listen to it and give feedback.
You can even have others video you if you're willing to go that far. I've done it a few times having a buddy film, then I record with my phone in pocket, and edit the sound and video together later.
[–]dump_fool 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
150 approaches and 2 "lays" is ... very ... time wasting imo.
You probably have to optimize some things - the girls you approach. Cold approaching has very low success rate.
I don't know what, but you're doing something wrong.
[–]psychicblasterr3 points 3 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
I hear you man. I’m trying to figure out what that wrong thing is. I guess what kept me enthusiastic for so long was the responses. Girls telling me I made their day and stuff, and thanking me for approaching them. But yea, might be wasting time with this much effort
[–]dump_fool -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Most common problem is approaching cold women and not being "sexual" in your interactions (being a nice guy).
Id be in the psych ward if i hat to approach that many women....
[–]psychicblasterr3 points 3 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Haha as far as the psych ward, at the least the emotional/psychological pain of failure has motivated me to become a better meditator and gain deeper control of my emotional state
That could definitely be it man. I flirt but don’t overtly exert my sexual intent out of fear of being disrespectful, especially in the post me-too era. Just need to think of some socially acceptable ways to experiment with more sexual interactions
[–]dump_fool 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I flirt but don’t overtly exert my sexual intent out of fear of being disrespectful, especially in the post me-too era
That's what holds you back. And honestly you're disrespectful to yourself - and to the girl if she shows interest and you don't.
Just need to think of some socially acceptable ways to experiment with more sexual interactions
Eye contact, getting closer to her, smiling, gently tapping/touching her while you speak - grabbing her hand (if she likes you) - walking with your hand on her back. Are socially acceptable ways to convey sexuality in public.
In clubs you can be even more sexual.
I can bet - those 2 lays the girl did everything for you...am i right?
[–]DrawerLoose8127 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Damn bro, probably just helped a lot of men flip that switch
[–]Upside_Down-Bot -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
„ɥɔʇıʍs ʇɐɥʇ dılɟ uǝɯ ɟo ʇol ɐ pǝdlǝɥ ʇsnɾ ʎlqɐqoɹd 'oɹq uɯɐ◖„
Damn man. Yea, the two girls I had sex with did help me a ton. One was a British girl who approached me through a friend, told me I was pretty, and did most of the escalation.
The other was a Brazilian who I approached and escalated/kissed after 10 minutes of conversation, but she did help me a bit later. She guided me to the dance floor and actually put my hand on her ass after dancing a bit, and I was admittedly a bit timid about making it sexual on the dance floor.
The thing is, I do give strong eye contact, flirty smiles, touching, get close to her etc, although within a pretty respectful frame. I may just need to ramp it up and experiment with being bolder and more aggressive. Thanks for the advice man
[–]Royal_Hitman1 points 3 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Where do you approach girls btw? 150 in a year seems very high
[–]psychicblasterr5 points 3 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I set a goal for myself of 100 at the beginning of the year. Probably about 50 day game approaches at parks, cafes, on the street, etc and then 100 or more at clubs and bars. I’ve gotten my best reactions at cafes and bars
[–]Royal_Hitman1 points 3 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
You must be very good looking, if I start to approach girls in cafes randomly, they are going to get creep out.
Thanks man but I think you could do it too! I am told I’m good looking pretty often which is part of why I am going crazy with my lack of results haha
[–]Royal_Hitman1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Where do you approach girls btw? 150 in a year seems too high
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[–]oyrishluck 18 points19 points20 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]psychicblasterr7 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
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