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[–]MasterTeacher123 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You talk to multiple girls and don’t focus on one
[–]CompetitionFair7686 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
Dude, if you wanna make out with a girl don’t tell her your feelings, that’s not even what any of those 30 guys did.
Those guys just hit on her, flirted sexually with her, and escalated things physically while they were alone together.
They didn’t say “oh i really like you” or “i love you” or “can we be more than friends” They did not confess how they’re felt, because they just wanted to make out and have fun with her possibly hookup.
You don’t confess feelings, if you wanna have casual sex with a girl or make out with her.
[–]hshhshshsuauau 4 years ago [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
Is there anyway to come back from this or has the damage been done
[–]CompetitionFair7686 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
You fucked up.
Next time don’t try to be friends with girls you want to make out with or hookup with and just hit on them, make them feel desired sexually when you are alone with them, amd make your move to kiss her.
Never again say your feelings to a girl you haven’t had sex with first for like a month at least. Never confess. Never ask her to be your girlfriend if you haven’t fucked.
[–]hshhshshsuauau 4 years ago [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
Okay. How should I approach this girl moving forward?? Also I didn’t expect to ever tell her how I feel we started out as just friends and I grew to really like her
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Even if you grew to like her you still shouldn’t confess. You should have just treated her like i mentioned above focus on casual sex casual kisses for fun without feelings and then she will start to catch feelings and want a relationship with you.
I don’t think you need to approach this girl moving forward. She made herself clear she only wants friendship. Now you don’t need any more guidelines with this girl.
[–]hshhshshsuauau 4 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Do you honestly think that had I not confessed and played it differently if it would have actually made a difference anyways?
Also isn’t possible she said no cause of timing? I really thought we had a connection. I feel like I’m gonna move on but if I play it right there’s a chance she could change her mind
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yes. Because it’s all about creating sexual tension, making out, hooking up and being fun.
That’s what the other 30 guys did. Just hitting on her, making her feel desired, turning her on, getting things heated, and escalating things by making out.
The serious stuff like feelings and love, boyfriend girlfriend labels, commitments, and vulnerability, comes after.
If you want girls to fall for you, first you need to make out and sleep with them casually for fun, and without any commitment expectations and then they start to catch feelings for you after you been having sex for a while.
You did the opposite first you wanted to be her close friend, then get attached, then confess feelings, hoping that would lead to her saying she feels the same way, and then kissing, and making it official. Which is the wrong order of going about it. This approach always leads to getting friendzoned
[–]hshhshshsuauau 4 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
What if I was flirty with her now and became exciting and she started to see me in a new light tho? I’m just confused cause I thought it was common for friendships to blossom into more and who knows what she’s thinking now that she knows there’s interest on my end.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s late because once the girl gets used to the idea of you being a close platonic friend, it feels super weird to start flirting sexually. It feels forced, and not natural.
And it’s also hard to create sexual tension because the mystery is gone due to the fact that you already revealed your feelings.
Sexual tension happens when there is mystery about how one feels, and yet that person flirts sexually. With you having revealed your feelings that ingredient is missing, so it all comes across as weird the girl will just be like: “Uhhh sorry but what are you doing? I told you i don’t see you like that” as soon as you try to being flirty which is awkward and uncomfortable.
The game is over. You have been disqualified.
[–]hshhshshsuauau 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I mean this makes it seem so black and white. I’ve made a post giving my situation in the past and a majority of the advice was to confess how I felt. Plus this exact girl has dated someone she was just friends with in the past. I’ve read so many stories of people getting in relationships with friends they were close to for years, I’ve only known her 6 months. How can you be so sure that this situation can’t change? We’ve always been sorta flirty with eachother but I never made a move like kissing her cause I didn’t know if she was interested, how do you know she hasn’t felt exactly the same? She treats me different then all her other friends and how do we know for 100% certainty she won’t change her mind once she’s single?
[–]CompetitionFair76861 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Because you did it wrong. Yeah, you can go from a casual friendship into romance or sex.
But they did it different than you.
You went full platonic mode, you then made the mistake of confessing you have feelings for her without kissing or having sex first.
Can’t you read what i have been saying? You need to hookup with her first or kiss at the very least as “friends”, without feelings and without commitments.
Your problem is this idea that you first have to get into a relationship to have sex or kiss with her.
it’s the opposite First you have to have sex with her or kiss without being in a romantic relationship with her and without making things serious with feelings.
That’s how you can go from “friends” into dating.
But instead you went into talking about feelings first without nothing ever happening first Yo i didn’t kiss you didn’t sleep together and yet you told her you really like her and want to be more than friends. That’s a wrong move…
You killed the sexual tension, the mystery and as a result she friendzoned you, which is another way of saying she doesn’t feel the required spark for you because of how platonic things are with you.
You cannot salvage that if that’s what you are asking.
There is an order to do things even if you want to go from friends into romance. And if you break that order then the result is always the same. People don’t magically get friendzoned for no reason, as if it’s a mystery there literally is a trend in behaviour in all the people that get told “i love you but only as a friend”.
The people who told you to confess were wrong, you cannot confess if you haven’t had something with her.
They only told you to confess so you can find out if she likes you or not, so you could stop thinking about her, but that’s also bad advice because to find if a girl likes you you just have to flirt sexually to create sexual tension and escalate things physically in the heat of the moment.
Not making things serious by telling her that you have been liking for a while and want now to switch your dynamic with her just like that without having made things happen sexually first.
Don’t you get it? Like damn i don’t know how else to explain something so obvious in a more clear way. First you have to have sex and make out with her, and then after that you can make things official and exclusive. Simple as that. You didn’t do that and now it’s over.
Sex needs to happen before you confess feelings. That is essential.
If you confess before having sex, girls will always tell you sorry but i just don’t feel the spark bla bla boa, let’s just be friends”.
It’s always the same thing,… The exact same story repeated over and over with every person who ever got friendzoned.
You need to start from zero with a girl, the girl must not be aware of any feelings, and you must hit on her, make things hot, kiss and hookup first.
[–]GordonGecko69 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Get rejected more.
[–]themostgianthorse 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You really need to read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover.
You have a covert contract with this girl.
You covert contract is: “Other guys fooled around with her. If I, a guy who is better than some of them, express my interest to her then she will be receptive to me.”
But it gets worse.
When we engage in these covert contracts and do not get what we want, we tend to see ourselves as less than those who were accepted. This lowers our confidence and/or makes us bitter and resentful. Until we see this and take action to correct it, we will remain in a downward spiral.
The solution for this is to:
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lose the entitlement.
Just cause she’s racked up a number and you consider them average and superior to them doesn’t justify that she’s supposed to add you to the list.
You thought it was easy and over estimated your quality as a person and got reality checked that’s why you feel the way you feel.
Keep nibbling on the humble pie some more and learn the lesson.
[–]Pop_Zestyclose 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This 100%. The fact that you already had her number in your head and were passing judgment on the guys you said she was with doesn't paint you in a good light. Just because she's been with other guys that you think you're better than doesn't give you an easy in with her. Doesn't seem like you think highly of this person you have feelings for.
[–]shxbxx 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How to adapt to a certain environment? Expose for a while
[–]Sup3rHD 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahahhahahahaah u want a girl that made out with 30 guys?
Pay an escort, its the same thing 😂
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never focus on one hole.
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[–]MasterTeacher123 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 6 points7 points8 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]hshhshshsuauau [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 7 points8 points9 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]hshhshshsuauau [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]hshhshshsuauau [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]hshhshshsuauau [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]hshhshshsuauau [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair76861 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]GordonGecko69 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]themostgianthorse 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Pop_Zestyclose 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]shxbxx 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sup3rHD 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link