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[–]Smitty-TBR2430 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I assume this is coming from a young lady you’ve been hitting on but have yet to sleep with.
Unfortunately, this is the type of question that comes from a girl that’s been fucked-&-dumped; or perhaps she has seen scoundrel behavior from men close to her (eg dad or brother). It’s not so much a shit test; rather, she doesn’t want to drop her panties for you & never see you again.
There is no good way to reply. I might suggest she’s throwing out a question that would be more appropriate later in a relationship & “we” aren’t quite there yet. It may be prudent to ask her why she is asking such a question / throwing out such a statement.
[–]George97o 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
You're right. We're both 23. I haven't slept with her yet. She approached me on a bus last Friday, and I took her Facebook and we flirted and talked a lot over texts, even sexual talking which made her wet (she told me this) but she kept telling me to stop. I asked her to come to my after she goes to a club on Friday night and she agreed, but I was asleep and didn't hear her message so we didn't have sex, though she's kinda open to it.
I see her as potential for a future relationship, and I wouldn't want to sleep with her and her to think it was just a one night stand and then leave me so soon too. So I guess funnily enough we have the same fear, lol. So I'm thinking if I should postpone the sex.
Thanks for explaining, it does sound like that happened to her before and it's why she's asking this. I've asked her why is she making such a statement, and she doesn't want to tell me until (if) we meet. It's crazy because she's so hot and very insecure at the same time. Should I pull back a little on the sexting and flirting? Because she kinda keeps testing me to see if she can friendzone me as well, by complaining about stuff and that she's not ready for "something" (sex), to which I responded by laughing it off and calling her a drama queen and a nerd and continuing the sexting. Am I doing too much of it though at this point?
[–]Smitty-TBR2430 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes to cutting back on the texting / sexting. She knows what you want. If she goes friend-zone on you: dump, block, move on. Same if she doesn’t drop her panties for you within the next week or 2.
Either she wants a romantic / sexual relationship with you… or not. The ball is in her court.
[–]George97o 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
alright, thanks man
[–]Thin_Protection5616 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Until you have sex with a girl, she has all the power.
If you want to make her your girlfriend, there's no reason for you to delay sex except to tease, create more investment/compliance, etc
Sexting is lame too
[–]George97o 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. Why would sexting be lame?
[–]Thin_Protection5616 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Unless it's a tool to lead to sex, what's the point?
[–]George97o 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Well that's what I'm using it for. It helped me with most girls to make them more attracted to me by building up the sexual tension until we meet
[–]Thin_Protection5616 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If it works, it works.
I tend to find that it 'overcooks' the set and gives away the end of what will happen, leaving little to the imagination.
But I imagine it varies a bit depending on the type of girl. I've rarely set up dates this way, but it's always been with girls who are a bit sluttier than I prefer
[–]George97o 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're right, it does leave little imagination to what will happen, most of the times. I'll have to recalibrate on this so I still keep the attraction and sexual tension but not oversell it
[–]Thin_Protection5616 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If you're getting the reaction during your very first interaction, i.e., on your approach, then you are coming across as overly gamey and insincere
If you're getting this reaction on the 3rd date, turn it back in them: 'do I seem like the type of guy who would be happy with just one girl'
There's a lot more to it, but that's the basic gist of how to handle it.
[–]George97o 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I get this reaction at the start, during the first few interactions (online usually). So I should be more serious and a bit less flirty and sexual in the beginning so as to not appear insincere and like a player?
And thanks for the help!
[–]Thin_Protection5616 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If it's online, I'd use it as an opportunity to get her to qualify.
Sounds perfect, thanks
[–]CompetitionFair7686 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Because you are not really qualifying them. If the girl feels like you only want her because she is pretty and cute and nothing more, that’s what will happen. She feels like you are a player, who will dump her after sex because you see nothing but a hot body or pretty face.
You need to let them know that you are not just choosing them because they are pretty or hot, but that you also see something special in her, some traits that make her different in your subjective opinion to other pretty girls.
That’s what you are missing, making her feel like for you this girl is special for x reasons, not just another number in your body count.
[–]George97o 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks! I'll take notice!
[–]Suspicious-Bid-9583 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree and aplify. Say naw you're never gonna be happy with one girl(in a humerous way ofc) women don't like the overly simpy I'll be there for u no. Matter what types .
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