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[–]brianbria 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I think being sexual is good but not physical too early. You should be verbally sexual. And being sexual does not hurt you unless you break the law, all it does it filter out women who aren't interested in sex.
The women who hang with you when you act like a friend but would leave if you are sexual just want to keep you as a platonic friend or use you for food dates etc.
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Could you elaborate more on being more sexual verbally? Every time I speak to a girl the conversation stays platonic, because I don’t want to risk being creepy but that hasn’t gotten me anywhere. Maybe a phone number to two but nothings ever come of it.
[–]brianbria 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
So risk being creepy. You already know how to do it but your fears hold you back. Just stay relaxed, hold eye contact, stand close to her (ensure she lets you stand close to her before sexual talking, if she moves back then maybe hold off on sexual talk) and then say what you want from her.
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
That’s part of it, but I’ve also been trying to learn because I don’t have much experience. Just started watching the Daniel Craig 007 movies to try and learn, as well as reading here. Most sexual conversations make me uncomfortable to begin with, I think it’s something I need to get used to as well.
[–]brianbria 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Of course. But it's more about unlearning and deconditioning from faulty beliefs and societal conditioning than it is about gaining experience (experience absolutely helps smooth out the rough edges though). Deep down you know on an instinctual level how to get laid it's in your DNA all humans have it otherwise we wouldn't be born.
Let me ask you what are you scared would happen if you said something bold and sexual?
She would reject you? She'd call you creepy and then reject you? She'd tell her friends 'this creepy guy hit on me'? So??? That'd be over in 5min tops. And you can go talk to another woman anyway. What is preventing you from saying something sexual?
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It’s kinda wierd. Everything you said yeah, but it’s more than that. Idk how to say it, but basically viewing or discussing anything sexual in media in front of others makes me kind of uncomfortable. Like I’ll give you an example, my parents and I were watching this 80s movie and there was a sex scene in it, I intentionally left the room to go feed the dog so I wouldn’t have to see it. I’ve got no problem watching porn or any of that stuff on my own though that’s why I say it’s weird.
Basically idk if it’s an ego thing or some subconscious ideal I have of myself but it’s a topic I’m not used to talking about and whenever something sexual comes up I get all flustered and nervous. Another story, I was in a bar my senior year of college and trying to get some action before I graduated. I actually hit it off with this girl and she told me “you made me wet” and I had absolutely no idea how to respond. Closest I ever got to hooking up and I blew it.
[–]brianbria 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Are you a virgin?
Edit: saw your older posts. Sounds like you're not a virgin .. But yeah I can see you seem to have a either a shame or superiority complex around talking about sex something ego related. What are you afraid would happen if you talked more about sex with women and people in general? Or what's bad about you talking about sex?
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Surprisingly no, I met a girl in high school towards the end of my senior year. She was a sophomore and we were basically together until she graduated. We were long distance most of the time but she lived in my home neighborhood so we would hangout whenever I was home, which was like ever other weekend. We had sex a few times but she had this issue where it was always painful so it was few and far between and never any good. I was only in school for 3 years, graduated a year early. That last year was 2020-2021 and i tired to meet girls on tinder first then at bars when I turned 21 like I said, never hooked up with anyone. Last time I had sex was probably 2-3 years ago. I’m 22 now btw.
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
To your edit, I really don’t know. People would be grossed out? Idk it’s not something I’ve really considered. Maybe people would think of me as some creepy perv and I get a harassment charge, fired from my job, parents disown me, and end up as social paryah. That’s kinda worst case scenario in my mind.
[–]brianbria 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So some people are grossed out by you being sexual, they'll leave quick and give you room to people who want to hear you talk about it.
The ones who think of you as a creepy perv again they'll avoid you and so they don't become a problem for you.
You'd only get a harassment charge or fired if you ignored people who said no or you do this shit at work. (Don't do it at work)
Parents disown you for being sexual? Who needs them. They can't be good parents if they dont accept your sexuality.
You'll attract people who like to talk about sex and people who accept you.
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So how do I be sexual in a conversation with a woman? All this flirting stuff is fairly new to me. How do you tell someone you want to have sex with them without saying “hey girl, let’s bang”
[–]brianbria1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Why not just say that?
[–]7Birdies -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Probably. Sounds like they think you want sex and only sex. Maybe a bit more of a holistic approach would make them feel more of a personal connection!
[–]CocoBabeNYC -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Never try to turn them on in a public place. Wait until you are home. Unless she is an exhibitionist of course.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]CocoBabeNYC -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only in a romantic setting, like if you are in a bar or in a club, take her outside, walk on the street and kiss under the moonlit sky.
[–]Electric_kundalini 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe you come off as a bit of a sleazeball. Yeah Women want sex just as much as Men but they want to be romanced and not treated like an object.
[–]Remarkable-Cat1337 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
idk maybe is how you are delivering it that's just bad
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What’s the point of approaching women, if sex isn’t the goal..?
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[–]brianbria 1 point2 points3 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]brianbria 1 point2 points3 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]brianbria 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]brianbria 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Velociraptor2018 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]brianbria1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]7Birdies -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Electric_kundalini 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Remarkable-Cat1337 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link