[deleted by user]

hagakurejunkie · 2022-04-19T18:18:03+00:00

Man, you're definitely NOT a loser. You're very skilled.

But you're putting your ladder against the wrong wall.

It's like someone who runs a lot and wonders why they suck at fighting.

You suck with women because you're literally NOT TRYING WITH WOMEN.

The other guys with "no redeeming qualities" have one redeeming quality, THEY TRY WITH WOMEN.

There is absolutely no way around it, you need to go out and build your conversational skills and talk to more women.

The best I ever did was about a 10% close rate. Which means that if I wanted to sleep with 10 women, I needed to talk to 100 women.

That's a normal rate too. You have to just hit the pavement. Most guys who complain they can't meet women literally don't talk to any women.

You already learned all these amazing skills, so go read every single book on PUA you can, watch Youtube channels like Playing With Fire, Mindful Attraction and Alpha Male Strategies and then walk out the door and try out what you've learned.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-04-19T17:18:47+00:00

You should do cognitive behavior therapy for self esteem. I recommend the book "10 Days to Self Esteem" by David Burns.

Im_inappropriate · 2022-04-19T17:42:51+00:00

Read "Models" by Mark Mason. He covers how to find and be comfortable with your true self, how to present yourself, how to seduce and more. He starts from the lowest possible level and introduces higher level concepts for each section.

Kitchen_Entertainer9 · 2022-04-19T19:38:30+00:00

You sound awesome, but you are very hard on yourself! It seems you spend too much time reflecting on the past. F those guys and keel trying new things

greyhound2121 · 2022-04-20T16:55:18+00:00

You definitely don’t seem like a loser, you might need to recalibrate. It sounds like you take care of your body and have some skills, but that’s not what attracts women. What are your other hobbies? What does your lifestyle look like? How often do you talk to women? How often do you hang out with friends? I can’t say this for sure in your case but a lot of men think if you have money and a good body you’ll attract women. Possibly, but an attractive lifestyle is going to get you a lot farther. The general advice I’d give to you is break up your normal routines. Try new things, talk to new people. Also cut back on the weed. You don’t have to give it up completely but it’s a testosterone and motivation killer. Trust me.

JadePhoenixMage · 2022-04-19T21:21:54+00:00

Being male in 2022 sucks. I don’t know what else to tell you. Life is just better for women. Not by a small amount either. It’s not like 10% better or 25% better or even 100% better. Life for women is lit 10000% better than life is for men. Compare your experience to the experience of a woman, who has different men take her on dates and fuck her, every day. Her whole life is just getting attention, making connection, having companionship and sex and pleasure and intimacy while you (and most men) get deprived of all of the above.

Loulou_peanut · 2022-04-19T23:20:02+00:00

Hi! I can share my experience I’m not an expert at all. I have been a “looser” with girls as well but it’s not true at all and that is not true for nobody. You’re still young take your time.

I have made improvements since I dance contemporary dance. I met a lot of girls thanks to that and above all I met girls that understand me. And when you dance with women you get used to being around women.

Don’t try to be an alpha male. Just be you. Lot of guys struggling with anxiety or depression find girlfriend. It’s not that hard. You will too understand that some say.

What I can tell you is you need to find people whom understand you and make you comfortable to be yourself. You don’t need to overthinking.

You should meet people whom share the same interests as you. You speak foreign language? Awesome! Go to a language coffee club. You write essays as well? Try to find a literature club or something like that. If you see a girl reading a book on a bench you can ask what she is reading and talk together about the book or something else.

Try to be sincere about yourself. You can share as well your insecurities it’s not a problem at all.

Try first to make meaningful connections with people then the rest will come naturally. Everything is going to be alright believe me.

If you need to talk more about that you can PM me :)

I wish you the best!! Be you and try to meet people as much as you can

Theblackswapper1 · 2022-04-20T02:06:00+00:00

Dude.

You are NOT a loser.

Never give up. Never surrender.

throwawayofc1112 · 2022-04-20T01:33:22+00:00

I can tell you what is wrong: just re-read what you wrote.

It's all a big pity story.

You need help changing your inner dialogue to something that is going to help you. If you keep being stuck in this pattern of "woe is me" then don't be surprised that this resonates outwards and puts people off. If you keep repeating it in your mind, it will become a mantra that poisons your every interaction.

You can't love others until you learn to love yourself.

You need to start with the attitudes and replace them with more positive ones: E.g. "Until now I have been a failure with women, because I never showed them how great I actually am"

Repeat that to yourself until you believe it.

Fantastic_Sale_7940 · 2022-04-20T01:20:21+00:00

Dude, you might not like this… but you’re a chump. Sounds like you have ZERO awareness. But sounds like you are willing to take advice ? The answer is… save your money for six - nine months, grind as hard as you possibly can to save money and get as ripped in the gymnasium as possible (minimum 5 days a a week) THEN travel travel to Europe, or Asia, or North America or Latin America for as long as that money lasts. This is an epic plan, which will give you everything and more. But you’re a chump, and a chump is a pussy who wouldn’t do this epic stuff. But are you willing to change ?

throwawayofc1112 · 2022-04-19T17:05:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Kitchen_Entertainer9 · 2022-04-19T19:38:36+00:00

You sound awesome, but you are very hard on yourself! It seems you spend too much time reflecting on the past. F those guys and keel trying new things

Revolutionary_Wind_8 · 2022-04-20T03:32:52+00:00

following. Same. but 25 and my last kiss was when I was 8 years old.

BarVegetable1512 · 2022-04-20T05:13:24+00:00

First of all, 22 isn't old. I was 24 when I lost my virginity and it was at your age that I made an effort to change. My friends weren't really ladies men but they had some sexual experiences and I had none.

I don't necessarily know your sticking points but my main ones was that I had a terrible fashion sense and that I was extremely introverted. Once I started dressing well with a f-boy haircut and approaching a lot of women in bars and clubs I started getting some results... kissing and grinding with girls, phone numbers. Take note of these little successes and use them as encouragement because it can be a process. It took me 2 years to actually get laid. Once I did I then slept with 17 girls over the next 4 years when I entered a relationship. It was really tough for me to talk to women in the beginning. I didn't even know how to ask a woman out or anything. I was always friend-zoned in my university days because I was too timid. A man always makes a move.. to say hi, for a number, to schedule a date, to kiss, to take home, to initiate sex...

My 3 step action plan for you: - maximize your fashion and appearance - read some PUA material to learn the basics; some I recommend Models by Mark Manson and Getting Laid in NYC by Paul Janka - approach women and escalate

Note the last step is the most important. Without it you won't make any change.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	40
Comments	42
Date	April 19, 2022 4:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u79qbu/im_kind_of_a_loser_not_really_sure_what_to_do_at/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1261687 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261687

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