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[–]CompetitionFair7686 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
You failed when you showed that you cared for her well-being which is typical mister nice guy behavior that should be avoided.
Her: “I’m feeling a bit sick” (probably a lie)
You: “you feeling better?”
Bad move, better to say:
In other words, tease her about it, don’t show that you care or that you empathise with her. Just don’t. That’s not your role.
Same as the “is something wrong?”… it makes you sound insecure and needy, and like you don’t get it.
When girls act like this, it’s better you show you do not give a shit, than caring and acting like her beta male orbiter because you are not her boyfriend, and yet you are acting like one.
The moment she said “what would make you think that” that’s when it was pretty much over, as nothing good comes after a woman says stuff like that in that context.
You acted like a boyfriend without being her boyfriend, you showed that you cared when you should have not. She probably lied about being sick and you fell for it, showing that you just don’t get it.
[–]bwa-melle-bwa 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Appreciate ur honesty man. Yeah i propably went into the simp behaviour. Guess its a bit of a trust issue kinda thing since im often worried a bit when i see signs of interest changing.
She was sick tho, during the date (at her home) she was coughing like a mad man. Still i understand your point. And i think that by letting off the 'fun and teasing' pedal i went into pushy behaviour too quick.
[–]cass2769 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t think you did anything wrong. You showed caring and kindness in asking why was up. Women are socialized to not speak up as much as men so sometimes they have trouble being up front with their feelings.
You created a space where she felt safe to give her true feelings. And it sounds like you accepted what she said with maturity.
These are great skills and a huge green flag.
And who knows…maybe this woman wasn’t right for you but maybe she has a friend or will meet someone and introduce you.
Well done!
[–]determinator94 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No just move on! Not just with women, but anyone’s inaction - in this case, a girl not texting you or showing interest - is, in and of itself, an ACTION.
[–]nevertextgoodnight 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well by the time you get to that point in the early dating stage, things are probably already too far gone. Ideally, the chick should be hitting you up excitedly and you just set a time to see her until she asks to be your gf.
Yes, so your instincts are right. She was slowly losing interest and by texting her and asking her things like that it made things a little worse. The vibe was probably too much like a relationship when she was trying to be loose and have fun.
I'd just stop contacting her and focus on moving on because who knows, if she sees you having a good time with your group of friends and you haven't been talking with her she might get curious and hit you up. That's your best bet.
[–]bwa-melle-bwa 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah i was worrying that that was the case. Feels a bit bad because i know there was mutual interest, her also hitting me up and such. And in the beginning i didnt even think too much about it anyway, kinda liking the laidback fun vibes of hanging out. When things turn around i often get the sense that i should be approaching even more when maybe the best answer is to lay off for a while.
But appreciate the answer man!
[–]LeatherBoundWisdom 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Generally you should respond to less interest with less interest. To an extent it’s a shit test.
[–]RSNK10 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No
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[–]CompetitionFair7686 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bwa-melle-bwa 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cass2769 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]determinator94 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nevertextgoodnight 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bwa-melle-bwa 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LeatherBoundWisdom 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RSNK10 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link