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CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-30T18:31:12+00:00

Here are a few tips. First of all, stop going out for the purpose of picking up girls. That's a losing and a LOSER proposition. Normal guys don't go out to hunt unsuspecting girls and harass them. Normal guys go out to have fun and socialize. Women are more likely to want to spend time wjth a guy who is fun than a guy who is desperate for pussy.

LifelesswithLime · 2022-03-30T22:54:46+00:00

Youre doing it wrong. Dont focus on "talking to some girl so you can seduce them"

Focus on "talk to some human so we can both enjoy eachothers company" and everything else will go from there

Emranhasib · 2022-03-30T19:51:45+00:00

I am also facing this situation as you. Though I made my first few approaches a few weeks ago. Man, that literally feels like you in war against the whole world & you just want to surrender & run. It was awkward, painful & really just sucked. Had some really bad blowouts. But it, at the same time, felt good. Knowing that I was just taking action & doing what is in my control. The funny thing is, my first approach, I fb-closed her. But some few approaches later that day didn't go that well. Now, i am stuck again in home, just setting dates (occasionally forcing myself out) because of AA. For me, I think its not even AA, just a sheer amount of laziness of wanting to avoid discomfort, awkwardness, rejection & judgement.

I think you should try progressive desensitization. That's how I did my first approach. Just go out & ask for directions. Or say Hi to a random stranger (a little bit more difficult but better). Just get yourself warmed up. Talk to the people you normally talk usually when you are out. Once you feel a little bit at ease with the environment, keep walking/looking & approach the first girl you find cute without thinking anything. Just take the next step, force your legs to just walk up to her, as if you have no control over your body. Stop her. Smile. Eye contact. Deliver the opener. You can just simply complement & run away 😂. At least you would have done your first approach.

So, don't stress yourself bro. You are not alone. There are guys like you struggling everyday to push their edges. But you have to take the leap of faith & just jump. If you are poor like me, can't afford a bootcamp & no wing, then there is no one to push yourself but you. At the end of the day, you are the one who have to do it. So just do it. Good luck!

Mr_KenSpeckle · 2022-03-30T23:40:12+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with cold approach but if you’re struggling, maybe don’t begin there.

To start, try talking with people who are paid to talk to you anyway: cashiers, waitresses, salespeople, etc. I’m not talking about sexually harassing them on the job. Just strike up a conversation with the goal of learning one personal thing about them beyond what’s necessary for the transaction.

Then a second personal thing about them. Gradually expand your comfort zone. At first, you aren’t necessarily trying to pick them up. You’re just developing your social muscle.

To start, you don’t even need to be attracted to them. Start with someone for whom you have zero attraction, if that’s what it takes. As you build confidence, start talking with attractive waitresses about innocuous stuff. Eventually, you can flirt a little with the waitress you’re attracted to.

By this time, maybe you’ll be able to talk with a girl in the street about innocuous stuff. Or even escalating to flirting.

Markyy47 · 2022-03-30T21:46:04+00:00

Ive noticed this with myself, that I used to believe that only if I have a gf my life would change…..it’s complete BS….being single is cool the only part that sucks is that you have to work harder to get sex. That’s my opinion

Beginning-Ad-8041 · 2022-03-31T01:27:18+00:00

First of all OP good on you for taking action, most would of given up within like 5 approaches on here

Now then, the best thing you can do is start with random questions asking where things are, start with guys if you cannot do it on girls then do it with girls

Once you get comfortable with that start going up to women saying: “real quick, I have to go but I wanted to say you are really pretty, have a nice day.” And walk away

This will get you used to direct approaches, do this until comfortable, then start holding the conversations later and so on, I call that the direct fade it’s a really good way to get over AA that worked great for me when I first started game

Now a few quick questions:

Are you speaking from your diaphragm, and loudly or quietly? (As in NOT from your throat)

Are you holding eye contact slightly longer than her, looking away after she does, while having good intent, ie. You feel the electric urge of being turned on wanting to fuck her (not just logically liking her)

Are you flirting at all?

Do you have any kind of standards or dealbreakers (ie. If she has a drug addiction you are out) and are willing to walk away from her?

Are you trying to lead her place to place and get her to a place where sex could reasonably happen? (This is the most important one, 2nd place goes to intentful eye contact)

Because the above is 80% of game, those are the fundamentals of game, the hard part in trying to give advice over the internet is that there are blind spots we all have, and you could be doing one little behavior or habit that could throw it all off, some common ones:

-not smiling when approaching

-overthinking and not leading

-being needy in texting them

-not reading social ques

-coming off as overtly suggestive, you show sexual intent with you eyes not your words especially at the start of an interaction, unless your at a club and you can open with things like “hey I think your sexy”

-and many many more

Op if you haven’t had any success at all at this point you are probably going to need coaching, do what I suggested about escalating your approaches and then come back to me, I know coaches in Vegas that I went out with that can help you

Edited for clarity

unfluxa · 2022-03-31T01:55:46+00:00

Baby steps. Start talking to all the shop staff in clothes stores. Ask for directions. You need to open yourself first before you can open girls.

Slowly increase the baby steps to asking for directions on the street etc. You can't expect to just start swimming when you cant even get in the water

gulaschgel · 2022-03-30T20:32:22+00:00

Dude I know the struggles. I've done daily approaches for a year two times in my life, for the purpose of overcoming the anxiety. At month 3 it started getting better, at month 5 I have had "friends with benefits" with multiple solid 8's. I had some trauma in my personal life I don't wanna get into that had me stop doing pickup and now, after not doing it for so long, it's the same shit all over again. You just have to understand, it has to be this way, or else every guy would do it! Your determination to reach this goal in a way shows you're a fucking stud.

What I'd recommend you is to look for a wingman who'll physically push you into interactions if necessary and to do it as frequently as possible. You'll get over it, trust me. It always seems impossible until it's there.

KahnKlingonme · 2022-03-30T23:54:16+00:00

Just hire a hooker if you’re that desperate

Beginning-Ad-8041 · 2022-03-30T19:24:54+00:00

Cold approach is the most retarded thing on the planet. Save yourself the embarrassment. Most “””coaches””” pay models to act like they’re interested. The ones that don’t are attractive men, who don’t need to cold approach. It’s a bullshit meme sold to you so you buy an overpriced course on “””game”””.

You need to be attractive, not act attractive. Develop something you actually care about, lift, get your own sense of fashion. Develop your own principles / philosophy.

Do this and it won’t matter what you do. When you’re attractive it doesn’t matter how you act as long as you’re not just outright rude. You can be shy, antisocial, etc. In other words, you can display actual human emotions that you feel, instead of following some retarded script. Same way it doesn’t matter what you do if you’re unattractive, acting like a “Chad” when you’re a fat gamer achieves 0. “””game””” is bullshit that preys on vulnerable men, an easy way out of a much bigger problem.

So become someone attractive, and then go out and meet people in a way you want to meet them.

Beginning-Ad-8041 · 2022-03-30T20:10:00+00:00

Ok I’ll never recommend cold approach in the day because:

There are much better options: parties, clubs, friends of friends of friends, etc

The setting/mood is not good. During the day people are busy doing errand, work, or hanging with their mates.

In the night, alcohol, social get together happen, this is where cold approach works better.

drgreen987 · 2022-03-31T01:30:13+00:00

you want to kill yourself because you can’t talk to girls? that’s a wasted potential, weak minded shit. you need to do a lot of self reflection, you are associating your self wth with your success with women. Get therapy

BangaiiWatchman · 2022-03-30T21:41:21+00:00

Please see a therapist

likelyilllike · 2022-03-30T22:40:14+00:00

I would just note that killing yourself is a bad approach.

Also, I'm not a woman so conformation is needed...

letsridetoglory · 2022-03-31T01:00:13+00:00

Lmao go to a bar or club if you wanna pick up mist girls don’t wanna be bothered during the day

MihaiRau · 2022-03-30T20:11:17+00:00

No. You have to attract girls my man. They have a plethora of options and just by asking them on street your chances are at minimum. Do you have any ideea what a girl thinks when she's approached on street? I will tell you, in the best case scenario she will think there is 50% chance you're a creep regardless of how good you're looking. You'd have better chances in a club or other place where girls are going for the purpose of having fun. In order to attract girls you have to think about what are girls looking for in a man and try to develop those qualities in you. Also have a goal and follow it, women like to help their partners to achieve their goals and as such you will be more attractive.

seddit_seddit · 2022-03-30T18:56:21+00:00

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Revolutionary_Art831 · 2022-03-30T20:41:46+00:00

What is AA

2022-03-31T02:53:57+00:00

Cold approach is just one part of game. Game includes improving your physical attractiveness, inner game, social circle game, and online dating. And yes, there are pros and cons to every type.

seddit_seddit · 2022-03-31T05:13:10+00:00

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Comments

THIS

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	23
Comments	48
Date	March 30, 2022 6:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tsck83/i_want_to_kill_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1263330 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263330