[deleted by user]

Costoffreedom · 2021-07-10T16:47:37+00:00

Having established some very open pillow talk with a few female "online daters", I can tell you this: A lot of what women are doing and saying via DMs is for entertainment and validation purposes, primarily, not to meet up necessarily.

When you try to push the interaction into the "real world", a lot of casual online flirts will bail, as it is just too real and the rapport hasn't been established yet. You might be too quick to the punch.

Rather than asking if they want to meet, and then following it up with concrete plans and places, leave it open ended for a bit and continue chatting. Confirm their intention to meet with you, then casually continue chatting for the sake of comfort building. It gives them a little breathing room to digest the idea, and it gives you time to find something fun to do, rather than scheduling a standard date. Figure out some common interests, and then suggest you and her do something relevant to your shared interests together, as opposed to being "a dating app guy who wants to meet for drinks". Once she says yes to the idea of meeting up, you can rest assured she will meet up with you when you establish a bit more of a connection. You must make the effort to be cool and fun as opposed to eager and out to get laid (this is the assumption, and these opportunities are a dime a dozen for most high quality women)

Of course, some girls are eager to meet up right off the bat, because they want to fuck. These ones will just say yes, and quite frankly, are rarer and likely seeing multiple men on a casual basis, which might be the type of effort:reward ratio you are looking for.

Good luck, bro!

nevertextgoodnight · 2021-07-08T20:54:01+00:00

This is subtle but when asking

"Are you free" vs "when are you free"

You are forcing them into yes or no compliance and if they are at all unsure they will give you a no. "Are you free to go out" is almost the same question as "do you like me?" in their minds

Asking "when are you free" allows them to contemplate what would be more convenient for them, gives them room to think and does not demand yes or no compliance

Also, "when are you free" displays subtle confidence because you're assuming attraction

loofyd · 2021-07-08T20:34:50+00:00

is this for hookups or a relationship? either way, personally i’d wanna chat for a few days and confirm the convo is still good and what not before getting asked to meet up. if he asks to meet up the same day we match i feel like he’s desperate or pushy.

ExpensiveNinja · 2021-07-08T20:03:28+00:00

It’s probably better to specify a day that you’re free. If they aren’t free they will let you know and suggest another day.

2021-07-09T00:16:50+00:00

If you get ignored, just block them and move onto the next. You will eventually get someone who wants to meet. Ask to meet them right away too, within the first day or 2. If a girl is serious about dating she will want to meet you and anyone else is just getting off on your attention.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	July 8, 2021 7:56 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ogf2bm/i_have_great_conversations_through_online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1280862 https://theredarchive.com/post/1280862

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