Hi /r/seduction. I'm wondering: How much the "game" changed yourself, and how much do you regret it (if you regret it at all) ?

supitsLoki · 2014-09-30T07:21:13+00:00

It's changed me a ton, and every single thing is something I like.

It's not about changing the core of your personality as much as it's about having the confidence and social intelligence to be the person you want and display that in an interesting and attractive way.

As far as regrets, I had a time that I was more aggressively polarising than I'd like. There are environments when it's not the worst thing to have the "fuck me or fuck off" mindset, but I lost some good potential friends because of it.

italocanuck · 2014-09-30T15:44:33+00:00

Ok let me start.

I've been wanting to post on here for quite a while but took a break from seddit after entering into a long term relationship. I guess you could consider me somewhat of a natural, I've had good luck with women but didn't really know what I was doing. After stumbling upon seddit and some of the other linked sites I can tell you that after being horribly dumped in university I went on to rebound quite nicely.

I became much more extroverted I didn't give a fuck and ended up dating a gorgeous girl around 6 months later. That relationship has now ended (logistics issues. I moved) I am starting to get back into the scene and have been extremely successful so far.

At first I had some of the same reservations, this is too sneaky and conniving and I feel like I'm manipulating people. You're not. You're going to be able to break free of the social anxiety (it stills exists just lessens) and be who YOU want to be.

Another thing to think about. Do you think girls prefer the exciting stranger who is coming up to them, making them laugh and having a good time or the "nice guy" who sits and awkwardly ogles them as they walk past. You aren't doing anything to people, you are simply going after what you want and if you aren't doing this in a forceful way. You are in essence doing them a favor.

Now I'm not claiming to be a PUA but this community is much more about inner improvement I've found then about manipulation or deceiving people. It's about being a better YOU, the girls will follow.

Apologies for the late night rant as I'm sure its full of grammatical errors.

goddammitbutters · 2014-09-30T07:21:53+00:00

You can always pick and choose from the "techniques" and drop the ones that don't feel natural. Check out Mark Manson, maybe, I feel like his opinion would fit your goals well. After reading so much about weird canned lines, his stuff just resonates with me as well.

Also, there's no need to be scared that the changes will somehow "destroy" you. Should you ever discover you don't like your new persona (but I'd bet you won't), you can always go back to average ;)

In general, I find myself mostly regretting the things I didn't do.

DaygameCoach · 2014-09-30T10:23:07+00:00

The game did not change me in negative ways. It did not change my personality, but helped me get my personality across better, improved my body language and social intelligence, and improved my body language.

It sounds like you are fighting pushing your limits and changing.

Cuisine, daygamer.net

GalwayUW · 2014-10-01T04:26:43+00:00

I think your head is in a good place. I agree with you when you say you'll see "sneakiness, tactics, and more non-spontaneous things I wouldn't like to do" around here. Personally, I've never read anything on the sidebar or any of the other reading materials. I post here mostly because I've had a lot of success with women and I like to help people and that a lot of what is said around here isn't too bad. But I think a lot of guys around here think you need to "trick" girls somehow. Seduction shouldn't be about that at all. A great way to approach it is helping yourself understand how to let girls see the real reasons why they should be with you in ways that you're comfortable with and suit your personality, but also with some tips in mind for what she's probably thinking. I hope I could bring some realism to the people out here.

jumpingjupiters · 2014-09-30T15:04:51+00:00

Are you really a chump? I mean you do pickup girls without realizing them and you're fucking them too.

Tjamandearl · 2014-09-30T15:18:39+00:00

To echo Daygamecoach, the game allowed me to express my true self better. Who we are changes day by day; I am certainly not the same 'me' as when I was 13, but my core values and core attributes shine better when presented with the confidence game has given me.

alex0919 · 2014-09-30T17:29:54+00:00

I used to be a dancing monkey around everyone, shy, didn't open up, fell for a few girls here and there. Was attractive, so a few girls chased me, asked me for my number, texted me, etc.

After one last, LJBF/you're too clingy, I said, OK, it's me, it's not them. I need to fucking change.

So I sat down, and took notes, from all over the internet, we're talking every solitary hour of my day I wasn't working, I was taking notes. I applied this at work, noticed a few girls starting to look at me different, give me numbers without asking. Started talking to tons of girls and messing with them, started getting comfortable talking to them, I'm not really nervous at all to talk to them, now.

Then one day, when I was just flirting with every girl who was pretty cute, I noticed this one, she had that "it" about her, she was straight up the prettiest one I saw all year (this was April). Since I was so used to talking to pretty girls, I just started vibing with her on the spot, she laughed a ton, brushed her hair, I wasn't even joking, just talking. Knew she was into me, so I asked her schedule at work, I visited her once, told her she was cute, got her number for a meet. Later I discovered she was friends with someone I worked with, and she talked about me all day when I opened her and just vibed a little, nothing that direct; her friend asked me if I thought she was pretty, here was where I'm like, OK... this girl's feeling me.

That was where I noticed I really changed, a girl like that would have been so intimidating to me, and here I am with her number, a girl that everyone bowed down to and idealized. She told me some guy told her "A girl like you should never have to lift a finger!". She was European, brunette, tan, and had close to the best ass I've seen in my entire life, that went with a cold body. I started really digging into a deep connection with her, I realized I wasn't that experienced at being sexy, since I was newer to this, even though I was so dedicated, it takes awhile for your subconscious to be that way around those kind of women.

Anyways, I ask her on a few dates, probably 5, she flakes for 4, then starts to say she was too busy, and we'd do one the next month, and then the next, here's where I'm like, this girls' losing interest/attraction. Half a year later, I now realize my mistake, I just wasn't giving her hope that I'd satisfy her desire to get together with me, I wasn't kissing her, I wasn't insinuating sex into her mind. So she just saw me as someone to really vibe with, she said "We're like the same person." a ton, she gave me hugs, but I never started to escalate with her, we were never alone, but now me would have done it.

In about the middle, I spiked her attraction, a risky move now that I look at it, and told her I talk to lots of girls, and that she really stands out, and I dig her. She felt the same way and told me we would do the date as soon as she wasn't so busy. Where I shattered her interest was when I told her I had feelings, right now I want to punch my old self in the face, but I was seriously starting to reach levels out of my experience running game with those kinds of girls.

Even though that interaction fell through, being with that kind of girl gave me the confidence to see I really did change, and I really can do it. I kept taking notes, and more and more, and started to interact with more and more girls, I went up to girls I wouldn't even get near before, we're talking hot ass mid-twenties European girls, with accents and the all the high fashion clothes. And the thing was they were into me, they were brushing their hair and smiling, I was just too nervous to get their number, because I was still pretty new.

This is where I realized I'm onto something, I think I'm really getting this, and I'm seeing girls from high school all like "You're so different!", then I ask if it's good, "Yeah :)", and they're all over me. Start to fall into a slump after going so hard at this, emotions are seriously taking a toll on me, so much rejection, so many feelings for so many girls, I kind of go into maintenance for a minute and open a few here and there, but otherwise, I'm just sitting, taking notes, more and more.

Now I'm back in the game, I'm hitting on girls on the regular, I go out weekly, even though it's starting to be cuffing season, and still open girls. Most girls I talk to are universally at least somewhat attracted to me, some aren't, but I just shrug it off, because I've learned the sheer magnitude of them, and just how many chances I really have. I'm still studying more advanced topics, reviewing more beginner oriented material, always honing in on something, right now it's my walk and my conversation. A bit ago it was my approach anxiety and complimenting, I now have those on lock down, and use things like "I saw you walking, and I had to tell you, you have the best sense of style I've seen all day :)" with girls I would literally not dream of talking to, in designer clothes, established careers, and social grace.

I honestly think if you put in the work, you will have a great life, but the work this takes is almost too much for my laser like focus, and if I need to hone in on something else, I'll take a break and notice my game isn't nearly as sharp as it was when I keep my focus on this.

To answer your question:

It did indeed destroy my old personality, but my new one is one I love and can bring me to better places than my old one. The only thing I regret after this is cutting girls off, like that first one I met that was straight dime piece status, she genuinely wanted to be friends, and she's very high status with lots of beautiful friends that are also European. She still works at the same shop, and I go to the same uni as her, and once my feelings settle down one day I might go over there and ask her how her life's going.

Otherwise I'm having the time of my life talking to dozens of girls and dating multiple girls, and flirting with so many girls I can't count. :)

2014-09-30T18:37:57+00:00

Only thing I regret is not learning game at 18. Better late than never.

xikl · 2014-09-30T19:11:02+00:00

Catch 22, as far as I see it. Being a chump will leave you scared of being anything other than a chump. Life is a game; learn to powergame. Everything is easier, and therefore more enjoyable. Everything that I'd look to gain seems to be positive usually(more confident, better at life in general, social interaction, less awkwardness). I'd limit myself though; trying your hand with every girl in existence can only lead to trouble down the line, usually in the form of reputation or using up your social credibility in your circle.

dariusxhicks · 2014-10-01T03:20:32+00:00

Im new still but it's just helped Me realize that if you don't try you have 0 chance. So just ask.

Title	Hi /r/seduction. I'm wondering: How much the "game" changed yourself, and how much do you regret it (if you regret it at all) ?
Author	KaneFosterCharles
Upvotes	12
Comments	15
Date	September 30, 2014 6:13 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2hv826/hi_rseduction_im_wondering_how_much_the_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hi-rseduction-im-wondering-how-much-the-game.1377319 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377319

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