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[–]hunterpua 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
There wasn't really that big of a mindset shift for me because my primary goal when meeting girls as a single guy has always been to create a friendship.
Being able to fuck them has always been secondary.
The reason being is first of all, the idea that its very hard to fuck a girl that is your friend is just another limiting belief and secondly, when you have a friendship with a girl you have constant access to her and all the time in the world to seduce her.
If you don't strike fast with a girl that you didn't befriend then she will just disappear completely from your life.
But if you don't strike fast with a girl that is your friend then she might date other people but she'll still be in your life and as long as you act in ways where she is comfortable being sexual around you and you show her that you are into girls by flirting with them in front of her or introducing her to other girls you're hooking up with or dating then if she ends things with the current guy she's seeing, she will still consider you as a sexual prospect.
Starting with friendship drastically increases the percentage of girls you're able to sleep with too because if you look at the girls you can approach in a given venue, there are those with boyfriends, there are those who are at a point in their lives where they don't want to be romantically or sexually involved, there are those who aren't looking for what you're looking for (ex. they want to hook up you want a relationship), and then there are those who are looking for the exact same thing you are.
If you go in with the mindset of only "going for the kill" then you'll only get that small percentage that's looking for the exact same thing you are.
But if you go in with a friendship mindset then you'll get the ones in relationships because they'll still be in your life when they break up, you'll get the ones who don't want to be romantically involved because they'll still be in your life when that changes, and you'll get the ones who weren't looking for what you were looking for because they'll still be in your life when that changes too.
So when I was single, did I get laid fast? Did I get same day/night lays or first date lays? For sure.
But I've also been in situations where I've known a girl for months or years before we ended up having sex.
With the first group I still started with a befriending mindset but since they were looking for the same thing I was looking for then we quickly shifted out of that.
I have a girlfriend now that I absolutely adore but I still meet other girls and really people in general, the only difference is that I never allow that shift to happen anymore where it goes from friendship to sex.
Now its the girls who have to wait because I'm the one with the girlfriend this time and hopefully they'll have to wait for a really really long time because my girlfriend's fucking awesome and I love being with her.
...
This part is for everyone reading this comment
A lot of you have sent me direct messages asking for my advice because you read a comment I made on this sub, just like this one, and found it to be very helpful/insightful/meaningful and I'm happy to say I've been able to help you guys so much more because of that.
Here's the problem: More and more messages are coming in and I really want to help but its getting hard to keep up.
So I've put together a Telegram group for you guys that want to improve your dating lives and want to actually understand the psychology behind our interactions with not only women but with ourselves and people in general.
If you want to be part of a group that believes in finesse over brute force, technique over strength, smart work over hard work, Seduction over pursuit then send me a direct message with your Telegram username.
If you are serious about getting better with women then I'll be happy to welcome you in.
[–]smoothmax 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Guys in relationships have to flirt and run game on their partner all the time, and be sociable and flirt in a calibrated way with all the women in their life.
Relationships where the partners aren't flirtatious with each other and don't maintain a strong frame (you're cute and you have to prove yourself) are basically dead relationships. Like FWB with boring sex.
[–]AFL-NOEL 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When I was in a relationship (6 yrs - I broke up w/ her half way through and for good Jan ‘16 because I wanted to be free/single) you definitely will lose sharpness at any skill you’re not using, but good news this skill once you have it is like riding a bike for sure. I personally never did nor would I suggest “practicing” because for me when I’m approaching I’m really trying to escalate to a sexual experience asap so that wouldn’t be in integrity of the agreement I had being in a relationship.. to each their own, that’s why I broke up half way through and was honest about why I was breaking up.. if it becomes such a strong urge that you want to go back to approaching other girls it may be time to think about your desire to be in a relationship.. here’s a new daygame video in Miami Beach Florida as a reminder of what the game is like, lots of fun, also some “rejection” it’s all a part of it.. whatever you choose to do, sending you positive vibes bro! https://youtu.be/xunWVE01P28
[–]zero600 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Did breaking up end up being the right decision for you?
[–]AFL-NOEL 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Was definitely the right decision for me brother because every cell in my body wanted to be free and get back to enjoying the mystery and adventure of life that I feel when I’m single.. but that’s just me, we’re all so different and of course you have to decide what feels right to you.. a little tip I use whenever I want to make a decision.. if something is a “hell yes” like I’m really excited about it, easy decision, I do it.. if something is not a “hell yes” for me it’s a “hell no” (for now) could change to a hell yes tmr, the next day, or never, but this way I only act when the energy is strong and it makes life flow way better for me and for all those I’ve given this advice to.. most importantly brother enjoy the moments you have w/ your gf and appreciate them while you’re in them, and as long as it’s still fun to you enjoy it.. if it stops being fun my advice is be honest w/ yourself first and foremost and then be honest w/ her.. everything always works out for us and always in perfect timing.. sending you positive vibes bro!
So how exactly would you approach a random girl on the street or at a bar with the intention of just friendship out of curiosity?
[–]hunterpua 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
"Damn girl. That's really nice hair"
Walk away or go back to minding your own business.
Some girls will very happily say thank you to which you can respond by giving them attention again, saying something like, "Huh, you're really friendly" and then allowing them to have a proper conversation with you.
Doesn't have to be the hair thing. It can be any compliment made with the intention to simply compliment and then immediately go back to minding your own business.
The idea is sort of like they re-open you or no conversation happens.
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[–]hunterpua 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AFL-NOEL 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]zero600 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AFL-NOEL 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zero600 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]hunterpua 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link