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[–]_SaintJimmy_ 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Here’s the thing about game. Its for socially autistic people who stumbled somewhere in their developmental years. Game is all about taking these ideas, systems, frames etc and making them innate, so that there comes a point in time where you’re not actively calculating your moves and aligning them with structured systems like push pull etc, they just flow out of you like water.
I can say this from one year of experience so far. I didn’t only suffer from talking to women, I could hardly talk to anyone without anxiety. I took the principles, rules, and ideas of game and mechanically executed them. In the beginning, it feels artificial, and its because it is. But eventually, as you apply those rigorous ideas or even canned lines, you start to get it. You understand why they work, and you begin to enjoy that new social behavior you’ve discovered, and so it becomes an extension of your day to day social approach. Today, I can talk to pretty much anyone and extend a conversation for a very decent amount of time. I still struggle with being sexually expressive (I wrote a small comment going over this recently), so for me, the next step will be mechanically expressing myself sexually against my corrupted intuition. But its amazing how restorative the process has been so far.
So to answer your question, for the stage you are at, it is skill based. You need to muster the courage and critical thinking to experiment with the ideas you’re reading about. You’ll probably fail, but you’ll get a taste of what its like to score right, and that will drive you forward. Or, you might even get lucky and win some right then and there. In conclusion, the more time you spend executing what you read with finesse, the more those skills become innate.
[–]Hooosreddit 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How much of playing football is innate? How much of good cooking is innate? How much of leading a healthy and lasting relationship is innate?
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A hell of a lot is innate when it comes to playing football.
[–]Hooosreddit 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And how much can you learn if it's not innate?
[–]pureresilience11 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
game is skill tbh. some people are just naturally talented at things. don't be fooled though, most guys SUCK at game. the average guy is god awful and doesn't have the drive or motivation to get better. you can get pretty far from the average by just studying social dynamics and doing some approaches
[–]-Mavs 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Meh, I sucked socially overall in my 20s; filled with doubt etc.
Now in my 30s, I have the confidence, etc to handle A LOT of social situations.
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well I wouldn't say that I suck in all social situations, but I've always struggled to get laod consistently. How did you get better?
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Are you trying to ask, is getting better with women learnable?
Yes it is. Not everyone can become a stud who gets with different, hot women every week. But every guy can get more dates and have better relationships than he did previously ... if he applies himself.
Learning game is a euphemism for dressing and grooming better and becoming more happy, confident and sociable.
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
My goal isn't to become extremely skilled with women. Just to be able to get laid at least once every 3 months and be able to convert about half of my dates from online. I should be able to do this. It's bullshit that unattractive men can and I can't.
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Just study game as taught by guys who you think are cool and who you want to emulate. Month by month you'll find you're a happier person who has a better dating life. Don't keep score, just keep improving. Overall happiness and a fulfilling sex life has a lot less to do with handsomeness than you think.
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh believe me, I'm living proof that looks don't matter. Look man I don't know what I can do other than what I'm doing (going on online dates) and it's not working. I'm desperate for a solution. What do you suggest?
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The tried and true method that many coaches advocate and which worked for me, is to work in parallel on inner game (self esteem, confidence, emotional intelligence) and outer game (fitness, grooming, clothes, posture, conversation skills and texting skills).
It takes months to years because most guys can't come up to speed really quickly on a lot of different aspects of self improvement. It's a big job but it's worth it because every day of working out makes you healthier and more attractive. Every day you meditate it pays off in increased calmness. Every day you practice socializing with other people makes you a bit more suave and confident.
Don't be desperate, be persistent.
I have a good job and in great shape. I can't flirt. How can I learn?
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[–]_SaintJimmy_ 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hooosreddit 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Hooosreddit 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pureresilience11 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-Mavs 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]about_time8989 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link